Theater Whore: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Oh my lord. Why did I decide to watch this movie? I'm still not sure. I read the book and liked the first 90% of it but the last 10% was just so bad that it ruined the first parts. I have not read Hunger Games: Catching Fire but decided that I wasn't done punishing myself and saw this. All the same folks are back, some other new ones, and conflicts that make no sense.

Katniss and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson) who won the games the previous year have pissed off President Snow (Donald Sutherland) because of their little stunt they pulled where they tried to kill themselves and not have any winner. After they did this all these other broke ass Districts started rebelling like “After doing the same bullshit for 74 years let's all finally fight back!” 

Snow shows up at her place and tells her to fall in love with Peeta even though she actually is in love with Gale (Liam Hemsworth) because fuck you, Gale is far superior to Peeta in every single way. Katniss and Peeta have to go on a tour to every District and promote the upcoming games. This old Black dude starts to whistle and gets his head blown off.

Haymitch (Woody Harrelson, Katniss and Peeta's mentor) tells them that they have to pretend to be in love for the rest of their lives. There is a proposal and Gale is all “The fuck is this shit?!” while working in the coal mines. As they tour more District's there are riots and uprisings meaning more innocent people are being killed and beaten. These guards show up and beat the hell out of Gale and tie him to a post whipping him giving me flashbacks of 12 Years A Slave. Katniss, Peeta, and Haymitch almost get their heads blown off stopping it.

About 4 minutes screen time. 1 more than the last time.

For the 75th Hunger Games previous winners have to come back because Snow wants Katniss fucking murdered. Katniss is in, Haymitch gets picked but Peeta volunteers. Just before Katniss can say goodbye to her sister all hell breaks loose again and people get their asses kicked. Lenny Kravitz gets his ass beaten which I saw coming from a mile away. All these other District members get picked and what bothers me is that so many of them are acting so badly in trying to act like insincere people that it makes everything seem even faker. I hope that makes sense.

By the time the actual games get started I stopped caring. This movie is far too long. There's an old ass lady who volunteered, some that look super badass but don't do anything. I have to point out one tribute in particular though. Jena Malone is a tribute whose reaction is just like what mine would be like “This is bullshit! Fuck this! I won already! Why am I doing this again?!” Plus she is hot in that strange way. There are certain actresses I am aware look different and she is one.

But dat ax tho...

Instead of the bio-dogs (in the book they were made of dead tributes) they are attacked by lightning, fog that burns and boils their skin, water, and birds that shout horrible things. The environment is more of a threat than other fighters in this. Katniss ends up shooting an arrow tied to a wire that hits the ceiling and shuts the game down. Katniss wakes in a copter and is told about plans that were made without telling her because everyone knows that Jennifer Lawrence is a terrible actress. They let her know that her family is safe but her home, District 12, is destroyed. Yay?

This movie was so much like the first Hunger Games that I don't think you really have to watch the first film to get this one. District 12 doesn't seem as bad as it was in the book which hurts the look of the film so much. I was hoping that they would at least make the special effects better but that was not the case. Their little flaming outfits looked so cheeseballs. The grid used to show the dome where the games took place looked like anything someone good with a computer could create.

This movie is making all the money and I get it because people like making bad decisions. There are a lot of good actors that aren't given anything to work with. I think there are about two more of these movies coming out and I'll probably see them because for whatever reason I hate my eyes.

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