Wednesday, January 9, 2019

The Review: Godzilla Planet Eater/Hereditary



Godzilla: Planet Eater 5/10

This will have spoilers. I have been waiting a while to finally get to see the latest animated Godzilla movie on Netflix called Godzilla: Planet Eater. And...yeah. I didn't hate it but if the first film was as hopeless and not fun as this I would not have wanted to see the second let alone a third movie. The first movie made me realize how much of a bastard Godzilla was. I always thought he was just a cool ass monster but never took into account the radiation and the fact that he was so goddamn massive. The second movie was good because there seemed to be some hope as they battled, and lost, against him. They also found this weird group of people that had adapted to the world as it now was. This new movie was just so damned hopeless and pointed out that there was never any hope from the get go.


The aliens that have been helping the last of humanity that lost their damned minds in the last episode have now taken over the ship in the sky blaming Haruo for the mission to destroy Godzilla failing. On Earth people are starting to get ultra mega religious and following Metphies believing that they survived because of faith. Haruo knows that this is all bullshit and Metphies wants to bring his peoples god to come kill Godzilla. Turns out it is fucking Ghidorah. So that's great! He starts fucking with Haruo's mind telling him that his people discovered years ago that the universe goes on forever and there is no point to anything other than just accepting death. His race was playing the long game.


Years later after a lot of people have died and it doesn't matter because everyone will die one day the people are surviving and still want to use technology to bring humanity back to where it was before which means that all the same stuff will just happen all over again. Ghidorah, who wasn't really there and fucking up Godzilla, is taken care of and Godzilla is still there. Just chilling. This wasn't fun. I don't mean because it is dark and miserable. I have watched plenty of dark and miserable things. This just felt like too many things were being thrown at me in a short amount of time. This movie looked great and had good animation and sound. It was just not interesting.

Hereditary DNF/10


I also watched Hereditary. And by watch I mean I looked at it on my screen for 40 minutes before tapping the fuck out. This movie was just slow feeling and not spooky. And by not spooky I mean that everyone looked and acted so spooky that nothing was. The sounds would predict when something would happen. Old lady dies, haunts her family, whole family is weird. I stopped and read what happened for the rest of this and was so glad that I checked out when I did. It gets fucking bananas but not in a cool way. I know folks loved this movie. That's cool. You can be wrong.

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