The Review: Wicked

Wicked 5/10

A few weeks ago my lady and I watched this movie. We watched the first hour and a half and then finished the last hour a week later. I have read the book for this story (as well as the terrible sequel) and the play years ago at The Pantages. I enjoyed the book so much and the live show. This? Not so much. Know why? There is so much singing! I know its a musical. I'm not stupid. The problem is that I didn't like any of the songs or the way the ones I did know were performed. With that being said and now known it explains why I gave this such a low score. Wasn't a huge fan of the acting either. The was a story where I was being distracted by singing. Let me talk about the actual movie.

This starts off with the people of Munchkinland having the party of all parties because the witch is dead. I mean they were prepared for this! The got fireworks, a burning statue, banners, and a musical number I guess in case this ever happened. Glinda floats on down and sings with the people and just when she is about to leave someone is like “Hey, weren't you two friends?” Now we get to the actual story of the history of Glinda and the witch, Elphaba. Her mama was a whore who slept with a traveling salesman and drank this weird potion. I don't wanna mix this with the other versions of the story. Elphaba was born green and her father treated her like shit while her sister was born with her legs not working and treated her like gold. Elphaba was raised by a bear lady and exhibited magical powers.

Elphaba and her sister Nessarose go to a school named Shiz. Glinda is there and everyone is on her jock. Elphaba sees her sister who is in a wheelchair being treated roughly and suddenly blows people back with her magic. This dean of sorcery, Morrible, takes responsibility for the display of power and suddenly takes interest in Elphaba. She wants to take Elphaba under her wing and seeing this Glinda says she will do anything to help and ends up having to share her private room with Elphaba. They go to class and meet their professor who is a goat that cant say Glinda's name. He says that animals are being treated like shit and losing the ability to speak anymore. This is taken far more seriously in the books. Elphaba says the Wizard will stop this and fix everything. He won't.

A new dude shows up that everyone takes a shining to except for Elphaba. His name is Fiyero. The entire school is influenced by him and have this big party. Elphaba shows up dressed like a classical witch and everyone makes fun of her. She does a dance and everyone laughs at her. Glinda feels bad and despite protests from others she does the dance with Elphaba. I think this was supposed to be touching. Elphaba asks Morrible to teach Glinda as well which she does but doesn't want to. They bond through song as Glinda gives Elphaba a makeover. The goat teacher ends up getting replaced at the school and taken away and replaced with a new teacher that is like “This how we gonna fuck the animals up!” Elphaba explodes with anger and makes flowers put everyone to sleep except Fiyero. They save a lion cub and release him to the wild. They bonding.

Elphaba gets invited to see the Wizard. Last second she brings Glinda along with her and the head to the city. The whole city is a party. They nervously see the Wizard and then he shows his true self which is a normal ass dude. Morrible is also there and they show Elphaba a special book that no one can read or use. Elphaba easily does. Next thing you know they are glazing her and she gives a monkey guard wings after the Wizard said that it likes looking at birds. The monkey screams and cries as wings sprout. Morrible and the Wizard let slip their evil plans to make spies and shit of the flying monkeys and Elphaba grabs the book and leaves. Glinda tells her she should stay and it taking all this the wrong way. Guards chase, songs are sung, and Elphaba learns to fly using her broom. The end.

I will likely watch the sequel with my lady but at home like this one. No way in hell would I put myself through sitting in an audience full of fans for this. I know what that is like good and bad. When I saw of the big MCU movies in a theater full of people it was incredible. Then I have been in crowds for some concerts where the fans were intolerable. I could not imagine listening to an audience singing the songs in this that I already didn't like. I would suggest folks read the book to get a deeper story to these characters that will make you hate Nessarose, Glinda, and almost everyone that isn't an animal or Elphaba.

Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba Thropp 

Ariana Grande as Galinda "Glinda" Upland

Jonathan Bailey as Fiyero Tigelaar

Ethan Slater as Boq Woodsman

Peter Dinklage as the voice of Dr. Dillamond

Michelle Yeoh as Madame Morrible

Jeff Goldblum as the Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Marissa Bode as Nessarose Thropp

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