Hobbs
And Shaw 7/10
Full
of spoilers. This was for sure an action movie. I watched Hobbs And
Shaw even though I said I wouldn't. Not that I hate the Furious
movies because I have seen all of them (except Tokyo Drift because
fuck that nonsense). There was so much cast drama about this being
made which made me laugh because the loudest ones were the ones that
could be easily replaced and I wouldn't even care. Tyrese was barking
like a baby dog and I joked that Kevin Hart could replace him and be
better. Guess what? Hart is in this fucking movie. I had no idea. And
they use just the right amount of him which made it even better. In
this movie Shaw has a sister named Hattie that is an M16 agent. She
and her team are there to stop a super virus called Snowflake.
Everything is going fine until this dude named Brixton Lore shows up
and starts punching holes in steel. This bastard is too strong so she
injects herself with the virus because...science? She gets away and
M16 thinks she turned on her team and took the virus. Like
immediately. They believe she turned in a second. Shaw then visits
his hot ass mother I prison. This is all in the first twelve minutes
of the movie!
Meanwhile
Hobbs is crashing into a tattoo parlor and beating a roomful of dudes
asses looking for information. Elsewhere Shaw is doing the same.
Hobbs is having breakfast with his daughter and fucking Ryan Reynolds
shows up for a funny ass cameo. That is a movie I wanna see. The
thing is with these Furious movies before they got insane all I cared
about was what Vin Diesel was doing. Everyone else was just filler.
When The Rock arrived people got way more interesting. Hobbs is
needed to catch this virus carrying lady and Shaw is assigned to it
as well. Of course they don't wanna work together and madness ensues.
Hobbs
finds Hattie first and they fight and it is full of sexual tension.
He captures her and Shaw arrives to take her away because it is his
sister. They have no spoken in forever and she thought he had turned
bad. It was all a misunderstanding. They find out that the virus, if
not stopped, will spread from her and kill millions. Right now it is
in capsules in her little lady hands. They get into a fight with
Brixton who whips their asses easily. See, he has all kinda crazy ass
implants and he has the ability to predict your movements and have
the reflexes of a cat on meth. After a while these fools realize they
need to start working together and with no place to turn they head to
Samoa to enlist the help of Hobbs' family that he has not seen since
he turned his father in to cops.
They
get to Samoa and Hobbs' brother is like “Fuck you!” and he is
like “I know but the world will die” and his brother is like “I
still don't care!” and his mother is like “I'm gonna beat you all
with my slipper!” and the brother helps. A car mechanic manages to
fix this broken device that is going to extract the virus from
Hattie. Yeah. I said it. Hell, they wrote it. So Brixton shows up and
after having their weapons disabled the Samoans whip all their asses.
That is one thing the world knows about Samoans: they tough as fuck.
Brixton gets hands on Hattie somehow and a helicopter pursuit happens
with a bunch of cars trying to hold it down with a chain that Hobbs'
manages to do with his bare hands! They crash the helicopter, fist
fight, and Brixton is shut down by his owners and Disney dies. This
movie was fucking insane and I have no idea what the next Furious
movie will do to top this. Steal some DVD players?
Dwayne
Johnson as Luke Hobbs
Jason
Statham as Deckard Shaw
Idris
Elba as Brixton Lore
Vanessa
Kirby as Hattie Shaw
Cliff
Curtis as Jonah Hobbs
Helen
Mirren as Magdalene “Queenie” Shaw
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