Terminator
Dark Fate 0/10
Full
of spoilers. This movie has no heart. There. That's all I should
write. Terminator Dark Fate is one of those movies I see and after it
is over ask myself “Why was this made?” That is worse than a
movie just straight up being garbage. If a movie is garbage I will at
least feel something even if it is anger or annoyance. Hell, it could
be garbage but funny. But this movie is just a series of explosions,
bad acting, and things being told/barely shown that would have been
an even better movie. Let me get this shit off my chest real quick
because it is a complaint I have had with every Terminator movie
after T2. And forget everything else about any film after T2. None of
them count or matter according to this. They pulled a fucking
Halloween.
Skynet
wakes up and shit gets weird. In this movie they show it for a few
moments and then move on. I wanted to see a fucking movie where
Skynet wakes up and shit gets all Purge-like in the world. But these
movies always show the before fight that is happening because it has
already happened and someone has to be sent into the past to fix
things and by fix things I mean fix absolutely nothing. That is this
movie. Even by the end when the lady/not robot explains her mission
it doesn't say that they prevented anything! Okay. I can't write this
like my normal reviews. I will take the main characters and break
them down and attempt to describe who they are and what they did.
Dani
works at a car plant with her brother. One day a guy that looks like
her dad whips out a gun and is gonna shoot her. Robot lady shows up
and blows him away. Dani freaks out screaming for her papi who is
obviously not. Like, even if he was he was about to shoot your
fucking face off. So she escapes with lady robot and her brother.
Robot man chases them down and her brother gets killed. She is saved
by Sarah Connor and they steal her car and are found by her later.
Robot lady will not say why Dani is so important but Sarah is like
“They just want that womb!” Robot lady won't disagree and even
after being saved by Sarah hates Sarah and is constantly threatening
her. Back to Dani. She can not act. I don't know what else she has
been in or why she was chosen for this but every time she cried or
screamed it was as if I could hear the echo of someone saying
“Action!” It turns out that Dani is not gonna give birth to a
hero of the future, but she is a hero. She inspires people in the
future...that is still fucked up. Yeah. No matter what they do the
future is fucked. Oh, and in the future Skynet is not a thing. Legion
is. There is nothing about this girl that shows any type of
personality. She may be a good actress but the writing of this is
fucking terrible.
Grace
is the robot lady. She came back from the year 2042 and was turned
into an android after being stabbed fighting robots. She is now
strong and fast but needs medication if she goes too hard in the
paint. She is supposed to protect Dani but if Sarah had not shown up
they would both be dead. Her big plan is to just get Dani and hide
her. Forever. I'm not sure what her plan is other than that. Her
character traits are vague answers, no answers, or anger towards
Sarah. When introduced to the original Terminator (I'll get to him
soon) she automatically trusts him. Sarah is like “He killed my
son!” and Grace is like “Yeah, but he is gonna help save Dani so
fuck your kid.” Grace reveals that Dani sent her from the future to
protect her which makes no sense. Like, there is straight up no hope.
Either way billions of people die. Nothing is changed except someone
will live to inspire hope. Cool? This poor actress had nothing to
work with. I am gonna have to watch her in something else to wash
this out of my brain. (checks imdb) Oh, lord. She was in the worst
episode of Black Mirror. She was not good at her mission and Dani
from the future picked the wrong woman to help her. She should have
just said “You have seen the shit I can do. I was sent from the
future by you to protect you! If you keep trying to escape I will
knock you the fuck out.”
Poor
Sarah Conner. So the movie starts with her hanging with her son John
Connor after T2. They are having fun at a beach restaurant and
suddenly the fucking T-800 shows up and blows a hole in his chest
and smacks Sarah. Then he just walks away like “Ta-ta!” She gets
texts from someone and shows up and kills Terminators that appear.
She is mad. That's pretty much it. I mean, she totally should be.
But this movie didn't need her to return. Maybe ten years ago. Maybe
twenty years ago. You are aware that she last appeared in 1991,
right? I was like in the fucking 6th grade when she was associated
with these movies. Even when she meets the same goddamn T-800 that
killed her son she calms down pretty fast. Yeah, she shoots him but
still. He killed her fucking son. Know what movie would have been
cool? Sarah Connor hunting Terminators and killing them with the
reveal being that a Terminator was sending the messages. But nah.
Its better to just mention it. They made her reduce herself to just
a savior creator.
Rev-9
is a robot that can do anything except catch this girl who has zero
fighting skills and is being protected by a not so good soldier and
an angry woman. He can morph into anyone by coming in contact with
them. He can make extra versions of himself. He can make knives come
out of his entire body. He can search technology by digging his hands
into it. He can not be burned, shot, or beaten to death. He gets
Grace's power battery out of her body jabbed into his eye by Dani. It
was stupid. And why does this thing have an endoskeleton anyway? The
crazy thing is that this thing was not scary. The T-800 was a big
dude with zero personality. He was an actual killing machine. In T2
the T-1000 was scary as fuck and he was a skinny cop dude! I won't
mention the other ones since they do not apply anymore. This robot or
whatever just seemed bad at its job.
The
T-800 is now named Carl. The fact that he exists makes no sense
considering Grace was sent back to help Dani and has not even heard
of Skynet. Like, Skynet never even existed so why is the Terminator
around? Anythoot, he had no mission after killing John Connor and
ends up meeting a woman that had an abusive husband and got with her
and raised her son. She has no idea he is a robot. He decides to
leave that behind and sacrifices himself at the end of the movie. I
think it was supposed to be an emotional scene but it stank. When he
sacrificed himself in T2 I almost made little baby bitch boy sounds.
It was so touching. This time? Whatever. He'll be back.
The
trailer spoils so much shit it didn't need to. I know they couldn't
have done it but they should not have mentioned that Arnold was in
this or if they needed to they should have just shown footage from
the first scene. Why do I say that? Because Grace has some
coordinates tattooed on her body. Who put them there? She won't say.
It turns out that it is T-800's address. Why didn't she just head
there as soon as she found Dani or as soon as possible? Why did she
only decide to do this after Sarah talked about her mystery message
sender? How did she know that smashing a cell phone would help her
figure it out?
People
are of course bringing up the strong women thing. This has gotten way
worse over the years and it turns into people saying that men who
hate movies like this are toxic and guys getting mad and not being to
express their ideas properly. I have mentioned in a previous blog
post (click here to check that out) that I had zero problem with a
woman kicking ass in movies or TV. I never go “She is so small she
could never do that!” But for whatever reason that idea is being
shouted from the hills as a thought all men have and how we hate a
powerful woman in movies. They don't even have to be hot for a guy to
love their character. It mostly comes down to how a character is
written. The ladies in this movie were written terribly.
Could
I be called sexist by someone because I don't like this movie? Sure.
Director Tim Miller said of this movie “If you're at all
enlightened, she'll play like gangbusters. If you're a closet
misogynist, she'll scare the fuck out of you, because she's tough and
strong but very feminine. We did not trade certain gender traits for
others; she's just very strong, and that frightens some dudes. You
can see online the responses to some of the early shit that's out
there, trolls on the internet. I don't give a fuck.” Grace was
tough, strong, and hard to kill. She was that. But she was also not
good at her job. Sarah Conner by the end is a babysitter for a woman
that is gonna fail no matter what. Why not just tell young Grace what
is gonna happen and try to stop it earlier? Try to stop Legion that
way Skynet was attempted to be stopped? This movie painted itself
into a corner and then set the room on fire. If you're a guy and hate
this you hate women. If you're a woman and hate this you a traitor.
If you're hated Dani you're a bigot. By the way, I thought her
Spanish sounded off for a character from Mexico and it turns out that
she's Colombian. If you grow up in LA you learn that not all Spanish
sounds the same.
I am
trying to think of something good to say about this movie. I can't
even say the music was good. I can't recall any songs that were
played. The effects looked and felt like effects. It did not help
knowing that nothing matters. No matter what the do the future is
gonna suck all the dicks. People keep saying “This is the best
Terminator since Judgment Day!” That is no hard to do! This movie
wipes its ass with the first two movies. I actually wish I hadn't
seen this.
Linda
Hamilton as Sarah Connor
Arnold
Schwarzenegger as T-800 "Model 101"
Mackenzie
Davis as Grace
Natalia
Reyes as Daniella "Dani" Ramos
Gabriel
Luna as Rev-9
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