The Review: Venom

Venom 0/10

Venom is such a bad movie that even musicians I like have wack songs on the soundtrack. That's how bad it is. I knew this movie was bad before I started watching it. I said I wouldn't watch it the same way I said I wouldn't see Aquaman or X-Men Dark Phoenix but I always end up seeing this terrible shit. I can't think of anything good to say about this movie. The story was stupid. The effects. The acting was all over the damn place. No one reacted the way someone would in any of the situations they were in. Okay, I should talk about this shit before I lose my mind.

This spaceship crashes to Earth and the bad guy who is obviously the bad guy just wants to know if the samples are fine. One escapes and three are contained. One of the astronauts springs to life and his goo takes over the ambulance driver who then takes over an old lady. Eddie Brock is an investigative journalist engaged to Anne Weying who is an attorney. Eddie gets an assignment to interview bad guy and told to stick to the script. Why in the fuck would they send Eddie to do this? Its a fluff piece. Why send the guy that is obviously not gonna follow orders?

So Eddie ends up checking his lady's email and getting confidential information and confronting bad guy with it. He gets fired, his lady loses her job, and no one will hire him. She leaves him and one night he gives some money to a homeless lady. She ends up being used in the experiments by bad guy. Eddie gets into the lab after one of the employees gets a case of the guilties. Eddie sees the homeless woman who vomits the symbiote on him. He wakes up acting weird, hearing voices, embarrasses himself. He gets invaded by the bad guys bad guys and Venom protects him.

What am I doing?

This movie was way worse than I thought it was gonna be. It wasn't even good bad. I would have loved for this to be cheesy or even funny. This movie just existed. They even had the nerve to threaten me with a sequel! No! No, I say! A Venom movie would have been cool when I was in junior high. I am 40. I'm a long way past this being a movie I wanted to see. Seeing as how Spiderman has no involvement in this they should not have even attempted to make this but they went ahead thinking that Venom is an interesting enough character to carry his own film and even with the star power attached to this that is not the case.

Tom Hardy as Eddie Brock/Venom
Michelle Williams as Anne Weying
Riz Ahmed as Carlton Drake/Riot

Jenny Slate as Dora Skirth

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