Sunday, February 2, 2020

The Review: Truck Stop Women/The Million Eyes Of Sumuru/Devil's Express



Truck Stop Women DNF/10

This movie stunk and I didn't finish it. A lady runs a brothel at a truck stop while also stealing trucks and/or what's in the vehicles. A mob wants to take over their business and the owner doesn't want that while her daughter wants more out of life and wants to stop them. Plenty of boobs and gross 70's guys hooting and chasing after them. I stopped about thirty five minutes in because I could not sit through another montage of trucks driving to bad country music about said trucks.



The Million Eyes Of Sumuru 1/10

This movie was ass. An evil woman runs this evil crew of evil women that get with powerful men and kill them and then take over. Not sure how that works. Its not like a world leader dies and their spouse takes over. These guys are supposed to take them down and there are body doubles that turn into statues with some poison the women have. It was stupid and I was able to clean my apartment while it played. This movie whomps.



Devil's Express 1/10

This movie had so much potential. A demon from Japan ends up in New York and has to do battle with a kung fu master. This dude in New York that looks nothing like the guy on the poster other than he is Black trains people and talks exactly like you'd imagine he talks when you see him. He and his student who is obviously a dirtbag go to Japan and while there the dirtbag steals a medallion. A demon emerges who is a dude stumbling around the city with his eyelids painted white. I shit you not. Okay. You think I'm playing?


There. This movie sucked. There was nothing about it that was funny or cool. There were scenes where people were talking and there was no sound. I thought I accidentally hit mute. I watched all of these movies on Amazon but I couldn't suggest any of them to you. I also talked to Miss Jackie about stopping movies even sooner if they are bad. Ten minutes tops!

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