Theater Whore: The Magnificent Seven

The Magnificent Seven 9/10

Some spoilers. This movie had no right to be as good as it was. I'm not saying I expected it to be bad because I am a fan of Antoine Fuqua and have seen Training Day over 50 times but damn this was a really entertaining movie. With such a large cast everyone got the right amount of time to get their personal stories across and even the ones that didn't get a super deep one were still great. This takes place in the 1870's where Bartholomew Bogue played by Peter Sarsgaard is mining and just running people out of the town of Rose Creek. He is a total dick. I mean, there is nothing good about this guy. From attacking people in a church to burning it to the ground and then shooting people dead in the street...within five minutes. This isn't some shit he did over a week long period. He wastes no time establishing himself as a terrible human being.

The Review: Brooklyn's Finest (old review)

I say damn! Finally got around to seeing Brooklyn's Finest and may I say this is one of the best movies I have ever seen? Yeah, I’m gonna get that out of the way right now. I marked hard for this movie. Let me tell you why.

It wasn’t the fact that it was not a CGI fest. It was not the fact that it was directed by Antoine Fuqua the same guy that directed one of my other favorite films Training Day. It was not the fact that Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke, Don Cheadle, Lili Tyler, Wesley Snipes, and Michael K. Williams are in it. It’s the fact that they took a lot of stars and gave them all great parts.

Now, I know that sounds rather goofy. But don’t forget we love in a world where films like Valentine’s Day has an assload of stars in it but manages to stink. This shit right here? This shit right here?! This was an amazing film. Now let me get off my knees, wipe my lips, and take my whores bath and explain what Brooklyn’s Finest is about.

Theater Whore: The Purge

I don’t see many creepy or horror films in the theater but after seeing the trailer for The Purge I decided to give it a try. This is from the makers of Paranormal Activities (which I still haven’t seen any of) and are known for making films cheaply and getting a lot of profit. This film cost $3 million and has made almost $68 million in less than three weeks. That’s a lot of Wimpy Burgers!

I should have waited to see this.

Its not terrible but you can tell that there is a movie that could actually be fucking incredible inside of this. Its 2022 and crime and unemployment is low, like, 1% low. The reason why is because once a year the government lets the country go fucking ape shit for 12 hours one day a year. It’s a chance for everyone to let their anger out so for the rest of the year everything is cool.

Bullshit.