The Review: 10 Cloverfield Lane

10 Cloverfield Lane 9/10

There will be some spoilers. It sucks that the fact that this movie had Cloverfield in it kept me from seeing 10 Cloverfield Lane last year. It seems like this came out more than a year ago. This movie did not have shay camera movements that made me wanna close my eyes just to not throw up. It also had an awesome story and the fact that there were pretty much three people carrying this made it that much better. This stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Michelle. She is driving down the road after leaving her fiance behind. While she is driving all of a sudden her car flips off of the road and she wakes up in a basement with an IV in her arm, her leg damaged, oh, and its chained to the damned wall.

Theater Whore: The Gambler

The Gambler 4/10

Meh. This movie The Gambler has a lot of great actors in it, stars an okay one, and somehow manages to be pretty mediocre. Mark Wahlberg is a guy that teachers in college and also has a huge gambling problem. John Goodman, Micheal K. Williams, and Jessica Lange are totally wasted in this. Lange particularly because whenever she is on screen its good. Maybe its the fact that I don't gamble and can't relate to gamblers but all of the gambling parts bored me. The best scenes involved Williams, Lange, and Goodman. The rest is me seeing a guy I don't care about playing games I'm not interested in. This isn't really worth running out to see. 

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Theater Whore: Flight

Denzel Washington is a national treasure. Seriously, this guy is just a ridiculously amazing actor. In his latest movie Flight the trailer made it look like this crazy action flick about a plane that is gonna crash and has to flip upside down to survive. That was pretty much all I knew about it and it wasn't enough to seriously make me wanna see it. I did want to but I wasn't dying to. Then Cam called and said “Is it too early to see a movie?” and I said it was not. So we headed to The Grove for a 10:30am showing.

Denzel stars as William “Whip” Whitaker who is a pilot. But before all that the movie starts off with a shot of a nipple. Not his thankfully. He wakes up and starts fighting with his ex wife over paying for their son's private school. He then finishes off his beer and does a line of coke. Next shot is this son of a bitch walking to the plane to pilot it. Oh, and the chick he was banging is a stewardess named Katerina. She is hot.

Theater Whore: Argo

When I want historical accuracy I watch a documentary or jump into my time machine where I make George Washington cry by calling him “Termite Mouth.” When I want to be entertained I watch a good film and Argo was that film. Seriously. People are getting upset about changes made in this film compared to what actually happened. Go watch a cartoon and have a Pop Tart, you weirdoes. It’s a movie. They could’ve gave all the hostages kung fu powers if they felt like it. I saw this over at The Vista in Silverlake and it was my first time in that theater. It is very cool. Wish I had time to get popcorn…

In 1979, the best year ever, the U.S Embassy in Tehran is being protested because we have their former Shah and he is all nice and cozy after apparently doing a lot of horrible shit to the people of the country and they want him back. The US is like “Nope.” The people start rioting and they storm the embassy and the workers start burning everything and shredding documents. One of the guards is all “I’m gonna go talk to them…” and is instantly blindfolded and held at gunpoint. Six folks get away and hide with the Canadian representatives. One of the hostages is played by Clea Duvall who I now have a crush on all over again.