Atomic
Blonde 1/10
There
will be some spoilers. I was so excited to see this movie based off
of the trailers and finally got my chance today. Atomic Blonde is a
dumpster fire. If you wanna see Charlize Theron punching people,
shooting people, stabbing people, and getting her ass kicked then
you'll love this movie. It takes place in 1989 aka the 80's which I
was not aware of. That means that every single fucking scene has a
new song that starts playing. It was cool for two songs but by the
end you start hearing different versions of the same songs being
played. It wasn't cool. Speaking of which, this entire movie seems to
scream “Isn't this shot cool?! Look at that lighting! Oh, did you
see that?! Wasn't that cool looking?! Everything looks so cool!”
This
is about a spy looking for other spies before some other spies find a
list of all the spies putting those spies lives in danger...from
spies. Dead serious. This movie blew. Even the last scene was ruined
by the trailer because I knew she was not in danger. And another
scene from the trailer that looked cool, the one where she repels
down over a balcony by swinging from a rope tied to a guys neck, was
ruined in the movie by that goddamn Wilhelm Scream. I hate that
scream and how often it pops up in movies till this day. This movie
is not a comedy. Why add that? This movie also had no sense of danger
because she is telling this story to two superiors in a room. So when
I see her tackled down stairs and shot at I know she is fine because
here she is smoking a cigarette and being smug.
I did
not enjoy this movie at all but wont give it a 0/10 because I at
least did not walk out of the theater. This movie felt like some
bullshit Theron should have done years ago like Aeon Flux. This was
just pure flash with no substance and a waste of a talented cast I
wont embarrass by listening their names.
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