Godzilla Vs. Kong 1/10
Full of spoilers and I don't care. This movie was trash. Its not like I expected an award winning movie or anything. I just wanted to see Godzilla and King Kong just beat the shit out of each other for ninety minutes. I knew that they would have to have stupid human stories thrown in just like with previous films but, damn. The humans in this were worthless. I liked the first Godzilla movie back in 2014 and thought the 2020 version (click here for that) was absolute garbage. I didn't see that latest Kong film even though I have had many chances to. I just don't care for Kong like that. So I ended up watching this in two parts because I was ready to quit watching it after just a little over half an hour.
This takes place a few years after Godzilla beat up Ghidorah. Kong is locked up in a virtual world. Its dumb. There's this little deaf girl that uses sign language to talk to him like in Rampage. I don't know her. There is also a lady and some dude. Don't know them and don't quite care. Everyone works for an organization of some sort. Meanwhile Godzilla starts attacking shit. I thought he was a good guy. Now he ain't. He just wrecking shit. Some other organization is trying to figure out how to stop him and another is building something to stop him. Its convoluted and stupid. Its human shit. It don't matter. There is also a middle Earth. Like a whole ass planet in the middle of this one. Fuck this movie.
This guy that works for one of the places has a conspiracy podcast which is fucking dumb because he works for a top secret place and just spouts all his crazy shit online for people to hear. The little girl from the last Godzilla movie listens and grabs her friend to go find him which they easily find. Its dumb. He joins them on a mad cap adventure. He has some booze he wont drink after his wife died but when he thinks he is gonna die he will drink it. They use it to stop Mecha Godzilla.
That's right. Mecha Godzilla is in this being controlled by someone using a skull and wires from another big lizard. Its some bootleg ass Pacific Rim thing. So there is a Mecha Godzilla. I'm not even trying to make sense of this. I'm not keeping anything in order because I don't care because this movie don't care. So Godzilla and Kong have a boat fight. It looks cooler in the trailer. Later they fight again in Hong Kong because the movie is called what its called. Kong is kicking ass until he is very much not kicking ass. He has to get his heart jump started by a ship. Anyway Mecha Godzilla is beating everyone even though the guy running it is dead and Kong rips it apart and he and Godzilla say goodbye.
Neither of them win. The entire basis of this movie was a lie. They fought a couple of times and I think that if they were left alone that Godzilla would've easily won. He beat the shit out of Kong every time. Kong would be due to interference. Every fight had a Dusty Finish. Look it up. Its a wrestling term. The effects in this were good sometimes and trash others. I hated the music. They would play the strangest songs for Kong. Like literal songs. If he was on a boat the song was about a boat or some shit. I'm not gonna add the credits for who was in this. I would not suggest this to anyone to watch. Like, no one. That Godzilla Planet Of Monsters on Netflix was better than this bullshit. They outta be ashamed of themselves for making this.
Click here for previous The Review.
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