Friday, December 20, 2024

The Review: A Wesley South African Christmas


A Wesley South African Christmas -1/10


I am gonna shit all over this movie. I'm also gonna keep asking “What happened to the African baby?” So this is the movie we started watching on accident before going back and watching the second Wesley movie. Bootleg Chris Brown is in South Africa to close a deal with a family. The sister of the family don't trust him and doesn't want to make the deal. The brother of the African family wants to stall and make the deal and says that CB should invite his entire fucking family to Africa for the holidays all expenses paid. The fuck? Absent are the singing sister (simply said she cant come) and older brother (who its said he would come but never shows up), the horny uncle, as well as the twin daughters (guess they couldn't find another guy to cheat on one of them). They are not missed. They add a young woman to replace the singing sister.



The basic plot of this movie is...there is not plot. Let me just run down everything happening. The mother of the twins is there with an obvious African baby that you see once and never again. She is bonding with a lady that cant have a baby herself so she helps her by introducing her to Google. The sister that didn't trust CB hacks their system and gets mad when they keep it secret from her that it was hacked. The Wesley father thinks he has prostate cancer but doesn't. The hot aunty and formerly homeless husband adopts a shitty acting kid. The singing cousin (we think she is a cousin) feels like an outcast in the family and performs for them. Everything is resolved easily and quickly. There is no drama. I was mad that the lady who hacked their system gets no prison time. She gets a hug and invited into the family.



After watching this my lady read up on this and says they had 12 days to shoot this movie. I could tell. They only had access to that African baby for a few hours. Everyone talks using FaceTime. Everything will be okay with therapy, god, or having a very simple conversation. Even hacking into a multi million company. I refuse to let that shit go! This heafer breached this family's security! From another country! I just looked up the penalties for that and they are not forgiveness and a hug. This movie is a hour and a half long ad to come visit South Africa.


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