The Review: Godzilla King Of Monsters

 Godzilla King Of The Monsters 1/10

This film was trash! There. You can stop reading now. Godzilla: King Of The Monsters had me hype as hell when that trailer came out last year. I didn't rush to see it but just watched it on HBO and my lord. What a boring, strange mess. I liked the first Godzilla movie back in 2014 but thought the human parts were boring. Well, it was like they decided that the best decision with this one was to take that and multiply it by twenty. There are zero interesting characters in this movie. Not even the monsters. I found myself squinting a lot to fully see the monsters.

The Review: Godzilla City On The Edge Of Battle

Godzilla City On The Edge Of Battle 9/10

This will be full of random spoilers. This movie Godzilla: City On The Edge Of Battle takes place right after the last movie Godzilla:Planet Of The Monsters. In the last movie they killed Godzilla and were all happy until the realized that it was not THE Godzilla. Just a spawn of the original one and by killing it they woke up the OG monster and he is far larger than the one they just damn near died from. The current captain Haruo Sakaki wakes up in a hut and is startled by this girl who runs from him. He tracks her down and there are more people like her. This tribe has captured and helped other survivors and they need to figure out how to battle Godzilla. Also up in the orbit the crew up there has the people still on Earth on a timeline and are planning to leave if they don't hear back. They eventually do and only three crew members return because they are chickenshits and don't wanna keep fighting.

Theater Whore: Godzilla

Godzilla 8/10

When I heard that there was a Godzilla movie coming out I had a few things that I really wanted to happen in it. To me Godzilla is one of those characters that is a great idea but happens to be in films I don't like that much. Other examples of this are RoboCop (until the latest film), Batman (until the Christian Bale ones), and Superman. For me to leave the theater happy Godzilla had to look cool. I had to care about the human side of the story because in all the other films it usually boiled down tome going “Okay, where are the monsters punching each other?” because of weak characters. And lastly, his damned spine needed to light up.

Oh, there will be spoilers by the way.

I am happy to say that this movie accomplished these three goals! Me and my cousin Mala went to the Arclight on Sunset to check this out. We both made sure not to watch the 3D version because fuck that. Those things are too heavy and I already wear glasses. Double glasses are for window lickers. The movie starts off showing all the different nuclear bombs we have tested and used and it makes me wonder how this planet is still around. We're insane. 

15 years ago in 1999 Joe Brody played by Bryan Cranston head to work at a nuclear facility while their son stays at home. Joe is trying to warn people that shit is bad but of course no one really pays attention until the plant explodes. After sending his wife to go check some stuff out he has to watch her get trapped and die from radiation. The rest of his life is spent having the guilties and trying to find out the truth.