The Review: Don't Worry Darling

Don't Worry Darling 8/10

Last week L. and I watched this movie called Don't Worry Darling. I had seen a trailer for this movie and could not tell what the hell it was about but it seemed interesting and I like the directors previous movie Booksmart. So we started watching this movie and it takes place in the 1950s where all the husbands go off to work at this place called Victory while the women stay at home cook, clean, relax, and bring their husbands a nice warm dinner when they get home. One of the housewives seems out of it and kind of strange and the other women stay away from her. Her name is Margaret and she's played by an actress I've seen in other films and did not realize it was her because she looks different in everything that she does.

The Review: A Wesley Christmas

A Wesley Christmas 0/10

The second movie L. and I watched was called A Wesley Christmas. By the way both of these were on BET+ that she accidentally still had for months ago after we watched Jason's Lyric. This is one of those basic movies where all the children come together for the holidays and even though the parents seem nice normal and polite the children all seem to be trash in different ways. One of the kids is the daughter and she can't be tied down in any relationship and is juggling two different men. The two sons work at a company together and one of the sons is married has two twin daughters who look 29 years old each and a wife who is either pregnant or has cancer. The other son who I remember as Todd because I kept calling him fake Chris Brown appears to be the fuck up of the family. He lost the company $500,000 and the older brother is not happy about it but the rest of the family seems to be like “Well you know that's Todd.” And there's also a hot auntie who seems to always be drinking and is the only part of this movie that is enjoyable.

The Review: The First Noelle

 

The First Noelle 1/10

So over the weekend L. and I ended up watching two holiday movies. The first one was called The First Noelle and it was not good. Instead of giving this a 0 I gave it a 1 because I actually finished this hot trash. I don't know what people saw online but a lot of people were praising this film and I cannot understand why. The movie starts off with Noelle and her friend Terrence who have known each other for 20 years breaking up because he's moving to London for a new job. The movie fast forwards a year later and she's working at a publishing company and he decides to come back and visit. Noelle obviously still has feelings for him but doesn't say anything and she lets her sister who we both thought was her mother know. Her sister mother tells her to try and get back with him even after Noelle discovers that he is now dating a new girl named Noelle as well.

The Review: Killing Eve

Killing Eve 3/10

I first got into Killing Eve after watching a couple episodes at my friends aunts place. I started watching it from the start and was really digging this show. Then it just kept going...and going...and going. By the time the third season was wrapping up I felt like they were just making episodes to give the cast something to do. Also, the main character began to feel like too much of an asshole for me to enjoy watching. The fourth season debuted and I couldn't even finish the first episode so I read what happened and was glad that I saved those hours and watched Justified instead. Each season got progressively less entertaining and as if it were just spinning its wheels. I should probably describe the show a little bit. Eve is a detective that has an obsession with lady serial killers. She ends up fired and is now part of a secret team hunting who she calls Villanelle. They meet, fight, love one another, husbands are left, people are killed, plans are foiled...whatever. It is very lather, rinse, repeat and I was over it. This was a cat and mouse game where both people were cats. Sucks because this could have ended in two seasons and been fine.

Sandra Oh as Eve Polastri

Jodie Comer as Oksana Astankova/Villanelle

Fiona Shaw as Carolyn Martens

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The Review: P-Valley (Season 1 and 2)

 

P Valley 9/10

Now I know I am super late with writing this review but the show called P Valley needs to be talked about. This might be a little bit confusing since I watched season two and then went back and watch season one. I think what I'm going to try to do is talk about how the characters change between both seasons and of course whether I like these people or not. Now at first I had zero interest in watching this show. I've never been to a strip club, I've never wanted to go to a strip club, have zero interest in going to a strip club because I compare it to going to a buffet and watching other people eat. But this show is about more than just a strip club somehow. I know if you look at any photos from it or ads or anything it looks like the show is nothing but strippers dancing but it really is about more than that. I should also point out that the second season took place during the pandemic (we still in one though!) and the show portrayed it perfectly.

Documentality: Killer Sally

 

Killer Sally 8/10

This past weekend Cam and I watched this crazy ass documentary on Netflix called Killer Sally. It was about a former bodybuilder who had murdered her husband Ray McNeil who was a former Mr. Olympia competitor. They have interviews with her as she's in prison so you know that she ended up getting locked up for his murder and they have interviews with her two children that she had from a previous marriage. As the story continues you see that she had a terrible upbringing. The husband she murdered had a terrible upbringing and by proxy her children also had a terrible upbringing. Now Sally she was in the Marine Corps as well as the husband that she ended up murdering. As they did different bodybuilding competitions and everything after leaving service she started doing these videos where men would wrestle women in apartments, specifically buff ass women. She would get about $300 an hour wrestling these men and made enough money to support the family just barely and her husband wasn't even working. He would just be competing in these different competitions and sometimes winning most of the times losing or placing very far behind and then being a cheating and abusive asshole on top of it.

The Review: The Mighty Quinn

The Mighty Quinn 3/10

This movie didn't make a lick of sense. L. had me watch The Mighty Quinn last weekend and all I knew was that Denzel had a Jamaican accent. And by an accent I mean his sounds worse than mine. It just comes and goes throughout the movie. He plays a chief of police named Xavier Quinn. No one listens to or respects him. He shows up and stops a stabbing at a wedding and gives the guy his knife back. There has been a murder and they are trying to pin it on his childhood friend, Maubee. Oh, Maubee. The clothes. The hair! Oh, my god, the hair.

The Review: Spiral

Spiral 7/10

Spiral was actually good. I gave up on Saw films a while back because they started getting brutal for nothing and the traps were set up so there was no way to actually survive. This is a Saw based film but no Billy the Puppet showing up. This detective named Bozwick chases this guy down into the subway and ends up caught in a f-ed up trap where he has to cut his tongue off the survive. He don't. This is not that kinda movie. If someone is in a trap if they don't immediately make the decision to maim themselves they're gonna die. His former partner Zeke Banks tries to track down who is now murdering multiple cops before it gets even worse. What sucks is that his department is dirty as hell and he can't trust anyone. Hell, it turns out his father is one of the main dirty ones. Zeke gets a new guy that works with him and he ends up getting killed. Or does he? This was a jacked up ass movie but the kills were not as gory as previous films. Just really jacked up. This movie showed that you could make Saw spinoffs and they would be cool. I'd like to see a few seasons of shows just like this movie.

Chris Rock as Detective Zeke Banks

Max Minghella as Detective William Schenk/Emmerson

Leonidas Castrounis as Young William

Samuel L. Jackson as Marcus Banks

Marisol Nichols as Captain Angie Garza

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The Review: Thor Love And Thunder

 

Thor Love And Thunder 9/10

This was a funny ass movie! I watched this over a month ago with L. after not seeing it in theaters. The basic story is that Thor is lacking confidence and direction in his life while traveling with the Guardians Of The Galaxy. He heads back in time to have to deal with this guy named Goor the God Butcher. He wasn't always this way. He had a god he believed in and after his daughter died and he met his god he found out that there was no paradise or rewards for his worship. Using a magic sword he kills the god and decides to kill all of them. Meanwhile Jane is dealing with cancer. She goes to New Asgard and using the shattered Mjolnir she becomes a new Thor. Its fucking awesome. This was another fun ass Thor movie that had me laughing while also some touching moments dealing with the fact that Thor and Jane still loved one another and reconciling with her impending death. Yeah, this is short because the movie ain't as fresh in my head but I really loved this movie.

Chris Hemsworth as Thor

Christian Bale as Gorr the God Butcher

Tessa Thompson as Valkyrie

Taika Waititi as Korg

Russell Crowe as Zeus

Natalie Portman as Jane Foster/Mighty Thor

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Curtain Call: Oklahoma!

Oklahoma! DNF/10

Full disclosure: me and Cam left during intermission. She had tickets to the play Oklahoma and I didn't know anything about the story. She did. We got there early and chowed down on some good Lemonade and headed over. Had great seats in the balcony pretty much dead center as you can see from the photos. I will point out some good about the show. The seats were comfy. The lady singers were incredible and too good to be in this. Also the unintentional humor that was riddled throughout this uneven show. There were parts where the audience didn't know if they were supposed to laugh, clap, or whatever. I was one of them. So after some weird ass experimental footage was shown on a large screen and the lights came up Cam started laughing. Not a “this is fun!” laugh, but a “What the fuck am I watching?!” laugh. I asked if she wanted to leave, she didn't want me to leave if I wanted to see the rest of the show. I said I was totally cool with bouncing so we did and headed to Jack In The Box.

Curtain Call: Cats

Cats 7/10

This past Saturday Cam took me to see Cats at the Pantages Theater. We had seen it there before back in 2019 and I remember seeing the commercials for it back in the 80's on TV and all I knew that someone flew away on a giant hubcap. I was wrong. It was not a hubcap. We got there early and wolfed down some Vito's pizza outside and took our amazing seats. I have never had seats that close at this theater and it helps because I tend to be in the balcony and this theater is known for having terrible sound. So we sat behind this weird old white dude that wanted to talk to everyone (I ignored him because he didn't have a mask and I don't talk unless I wanna) and this older Black couple where the husband kept taking his mask off and on and moving weirdly to the music. Otherwise the audience was pretty okay. And, and the wife of the mask man trying to film the last act, being told to stop, trying one more time, and being told to stop again. People are trash.

The Review: The Outfit

The Outfit 9/10

Hey, this was a real movie! I use that description rarely. But this was something I would've watched in a theater. I didn't even know it existed. Miss Jackie's mama suggested it to me and I checked it out and thoroughly enjoyed it. This cutter (not a tailor!) named Leonard Burling is enjoying a nice, quiet existence making suits. Most of his clients are with the mob but so what? His receptionist Mable starts dating the son of a mob boss who later shows up shot and Leonard is forced at gunpoint to sew him up to stop the bleeding. This leads to the talk of a rat and a tape that was taken from the FBI. This is where my detective skills shine like a turd in the dark because I was accusing everyone left and right of being the rat. This movie had me guessing until the very last scene. This movie was on some The Usual Suspects/Knives Out type shit. It is on Amazon and everyone should be watching this and wanting more movies like this. Small setting, great acting, the look of the movie, the sound was good (didn't have to keep adjusting the volume like a Netflix movie). Damn thing had me applauding by myself in my apartment.

Mark Rylance as Leonard Burling

Johnny Flynn as Francis

Zoey Deutch as Mable Shaun

Dylan O'Brien as Richie Boyle

Simon Russell Beale as Roy Boyle

Nikki Amuka-Bird as Violet LaFontaine

Alan Mehdizadeh as Monk

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The Review: Ricochet

Ricochet 7/10

This was some perfect 90's cheese. I had heard of Ricochet and knew Denzel was in it but that was all. Next thing you know the credits start rolling and all the greats were here! This is about a cop/law student named Nick Styles who before he got started was a flirt and played basketball with a thug named Odessa. He later becomes a cop and while at a carnival he and his partner stumble on a shooting by a dude named Earl Talbot Blake. This dude is nuts as hell! He takes a woman hostage and strips down to his draws (which pleased my lady to no end) and shoots Blake and saves the day. By the way, that hostage deserved it. She came skipping out the port-a-potty like there weren't two men with guns out. So while Style's life skyrockets after the arrest Blake plots to get revenge from prison.

The Review: A Jazzman's Blues

 

A Jazzman's Blues 2/10

This movie was ass. L. wanted to check out this Tyler Perry movie called A Jazzman's Blues on Netflix so we did. This movie was long and full of people making dumb decisions to keep the story moving. It is about a dude named Bayou who falls in love with this girl named Leanne aka Bucket. They explain why she was called Bucket and it is so stupid that nickname would have never stuck. Bayou's no father hates him. His brother hates him. Everyone makes fun of him except for his mother who baby's him. This story is told through letters that Bayou wrote to Leanne in the late 30's to early 40's after they were given to this racist dude in the 80's. Yeah.

The Review: The 355

The 355 (1/10)

I almost didn't even write a review for this because I did not care for it. I also don't want to be accused of hating women since at this point if you say you don't like something that is female led it means you hate them. It isn't the fact that the action was shot terrible, the story was weak as hell and incredibly predictable, or that the actresses you see in this have been in far better films. That couldn't be it. I looked up the director after watching this and slapped myself for even watching this. I was familiar with his name as a producer and writer but when he got to do all three...yeesh. What is this about? Different government spies trying to out think one another for a device that can control technology until they start to work together but only the women because the men are all dumb, violent, or dumb and violent. I wish this was good and it didn't get a 0/10 because I finished it while ironing my clothes.

Jessica Chastain as Mason "Mace" Browne

Penélope Cruz as Graciela Rivera

Fan Bingbing as Lin Mi Sheng

Diane Kruger as Marie Schmidt

Lupita Nyong'o as Khadijah Adiyeme

Édgar Ramírez as Luis Rojas

Sebastian Stan as Nick Fowler

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