Sunday, April 27, 2014

DVDiculous: Son Of Batman

I saw a trailer for this Son Of Batman movie and even though I absolutely hate the character of Damien Wayne I decided to watch it because fuck you its a Batman movie. The immediate issue I have with this is that they treat Ra's al Ghul like a B-level villain. This is one of the only villains that know who Batman really is and has walked into the Bat Cave. He is a serious son of a bitch.

Anyhoot, while Ra's' daughter Talia and all of them are chilling at their super evil base it gets attacked by Deathstroke and a bunch of mercenaries. Ra's gets killed before he can reach the Lazurus Pit (it is a bubbly green pool that brings him back from any serious injury and is also the reason he is about 500 years old). Damien goes nuts and starts killing dudes left and right and gets mad when his mom doesn't want to dip her dead father into the pool.

Talia decides it is time for Batman to meet his psychotic child and arrives in Gotham acting all sexual towards Batman before showing him his creepy, new son. Immediately Batman should've been like “Get the fuck out of Gotham and take this obvious lunatic with you!” He doesn't though and Talia leaves him with Batman. Damien saunters around the Bat Cave like he owns the place and keeps pointing out that one day he will (which I laughed at because he totally doesn't...). Hell, even Alfred doesn't like him.

Damien, dressed as Robin, finds out that one of the guys working with Deathstroke is in Gotham and goes after him. Nightwing shows up and they fight which isn't shown until the end credits in freeze frame which is total bullshit. So he beats Damien and brings him back to Batman. Damien and Batman team up and he tries to let Damien know that killing people is not something that you just run around doing. Damien is all like “Why?” and Batman is like “Because we're not killing, you fucking psycho!”

Damien learns his lesson and all is well. I hope that they don't make more films with Damien. I'm just not a fan of the kid. If he were a Batman villain he'd be in Arkham Asylum. Remember how much people hated Jason Todd, the second Robin? This kid is ten times worse than him. The voices and art are really good. The story though was just not. Batman would not have taken this kid into battles with him so fast knowing how irresponsible he is. And by irresponsible I mean insane.

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