Wednesday, December 14, 2016

The Review: Blade 2

Blade II 6/10

This movie did not age well. I recently watched Blade II again and can say that it has been well over ten years since I saw it. This came out in 2002 where we thought we had mastered the art of making CGI characters based off of real people look realistic when fighting. This one takes place a few years after te first film with Blade searching for Whistler who has been turned into a vampire. I think. I'm pretty sure he is. Either way, Blade's new partner Scud does not trust Whistler and Whistler is old as fuck and does not care for the work Scud does. Its mad dramatic, yo.

There is a new breed of vampires that are not vampires that hate vampires. They have crazy ass Predator mouths and stick their Xenomorph tongues onto people and either kill or transform them. A team called The Blood Pack because...yeah, show up to recruit Blade to help. He does but does not get along with all of them, particularly Ron Perlman. This group of yahoos head into a club to find some vampire type shit and all hell breaks loose. This team of killers prove to be one of the worst team of killers to ever decide to team. One asshole gets bit and doesn't tell anyone, including his girl who then kills another team mate. One gets bitten and has to be killed. One is a traitor. The leader is inefficient. I don't even know what happened to the Black vampire guy! Its a fucking mess.

If I had reviewed this movie back in the day I would have been like “10/10! Best superhero movie ever!” But now I'm almost 600 years old and jaded as fuck so this movie was mostly funny. The soundtrack is super early 2000's. Techno music with rappers jumping in. All this being said I wouldn't be mad I Blade showed up as a special guest on one of the Netflix series.

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