Saturday, December 31, 2016

Worst Movies Of 2016

Wow! There were a lot of bad movies that came out this year! I could have easily made this a top twenty worse movies of the year but settled on twelve s it matched my Best Movies Of 2016 list. Some of these movies, if marketed as comedies, would have gotten a far higher rating from me.

"This movie wasn't hot garbage but I would never tell someone to watch it no matter how much they liked the first one. This takes place twenty years after the first and in case you're wondering, Vivica Fox is not still a stripper. She a nurse now. Yay her...I guess."

"This movie wasn't enjoyable but I managed to sit through it. They changed the terrible ending from the book but managed to make it somehow even worse. This should make negative money in theaters."

"They keep it in this weird middle ground where I can't attach or relate to any of the main characters so when people are chased or killed I just don't care. It also doesn't help that most of the characters have that new thing in movies where they are annoying or assholes so when they die I cheer. I'll check out the new Purge in a couple years."

"I was surprised that this was filmed, edited, and completed without someone going 'Wow, this is kinda terrible.' I'm not gonna waste time mentioning all the actors names or anything. Its just not worth it."

"The acting, the music, the story, the fights, none of it grabbed my attention at all whereas with the first film I've watched close to ten times since the first. As I watched this I just kept asking myself 'When is this ending?' I'm not kidding. This movie was just not good."

"This was not a fun movie in any way. Just bleak as fuck and I can't believe that so many of the upcoming films hinge on this one."

"In each of these new films I like the beginning where they seem to be exploring or having fun on an alien planet and then it becomes explosion fest. This film is 90% fighting."

"Suicide Squad is a movie no one asked to be made and it was so we have to deal with all of the whack posters, commercials, and bitching about how a directors cut is far better than what we're seeing in theaters."

"Everyone was an asshole and I wanted the blind man to kill everyone until it turned out he was holding someone hostage and forcing her to have a new kid for him."

"This movie was fucking ridiculous. Its something I would watch again with someone just to crack up laughing. I gave it a 2 because I laughed so much when I shouldn't have. The husband led this dumb ass girl on at times and couldn't just say 'Bitch, my wife is in the next room!'"

"This movie was not close to as fun or entertaining as the first. The effects were terrible. The car chases showed nothing new or exciting. If you just want to see shit get blown up with bad special effects then by all means watch this."

"The first scene of the movie is a five minute sequence where very fat women are dancing butt booty ass naked in slow motion. I was pushing myself so far back in my seat I could hear it cracking. It was horrifying." 

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