Sitting In The Aisle: Bloodshot

Bloodshot 4/10

Almost everyone had a weird voice. That is the first thing I am gonna say about the Bloodshot movie. And this is gonna be full of spoilers which sounds weird even saying because the trailer shows the entire movie. While watching as soon as I saw certain characters I thought “Oh, he is gonna fight him because I saw it in the trailer even though they are teammates.” As much as I loved that trailer I did not expect it to spoil so much of this film. I used to read Bloodshot comics and even got some autographed years ago at Golden Apple. I wanted this to be an awesome ass movie but it just was not. The story was terrible but what kept bugging me was the use of slow motion way too much. Using it when nanites are repairing him, fine. But almost every fight scene uses it. And I understand not being able to die die. But you were a very good soldier. There is no need to just stand there eating bullets especially when there is actually a limit to your abilities. I am jumping ahead of myself.

A Marine named Ray Garrison is a one man wrecking crew. He takes out a house full of kidnappers and saves a mans life. He heads back home to be with his lady named Gina. One morning he wakes up and is attacked. He kicks the guys asses until he is drugged and passes out. He wakes up in a slaughterhouse because of course tied up for information. This guy named Axe wants to know how Ray knew where to find his people. Ray does not know so Gina is brought in to jog his memory. He actually does not know the information and Gina pays for it with a knocker to the head which I only know exists because of No Country For Old Men. Ray swears he will kill Axe so Axe shoots him in the head. Ray wakes up in a facility tied down with no memory of anything.

This guy named Dr Harting introduces Ray to his new abilities and casually explains that he is dead to the world. Ray meets the team. There is KT who was a Navy diver. She has a future throat hole. Jimmy who is an asshole with robot legs. And Marcus who has cameras for eyes and is nice. One night while not being able to sleep Ray bonds with KT over drinks and the same song that was playing when he and Gina were killed starts pumping through the speakers. He leaves, grabs a car, grabs a jet, and flies away. By the way his nanites have the ability to access the internet and all forms of information. He finds the guy who killed Gina and comes back not feeling better. Now, if you saw the trailer you have seen that the killers face changes multiple times and Ray is being played.

KT is having second thoughts about the whole operation and Harting shuts her oxygen hole to show her whose boss. Jimmy stands over Ray each time he gets his memory erased revealing the truth knowing he will forget. During another kill mission-oh, right. Harting is having former coworkers killed and using Ray to do it. So during this latest kill mission comedy relief sets off an EMP shutting him down and then bringing him back to life to get revenge on Harting. The rest is what you have seen in the trailer and a revelation that Gina ain't even dead and that she and Ray split up a long time ago and when he surprises her at her new place she has not seen him in five years and already has a husband and two kids. Gee. That seems kinda fast. I don't ever want kids but I would imagine it would take more than five years between leaving one husband, finding another, and cranking out two more humans. Maybe that's just me.

I wish this movie was good! I really do. Bloodshot looks awesome. The special effects are cool. The story was fine...ish. For a kid maybe. But the slow motion was lame. The pacing felt weird. They needed more team members. This felt like a sequel to a movie I missed. The team had been together for years but worked like they were brand new. You never see what they are even capable of until almost the end. If I could get a do-over I totally would with a better director and writer. It felt like it was being told by one too many people so the tone was off. Just looked up who made this. First time director and holy shit the writers have done some of the worst films I have seen throughout the years. Fuck me.

Vin Diesel as Ray Garrison / Bloodshot

Eiza González as Katie/KT

Sam Heughan as Jimmy Dalton

Toby Kebbell as Martin Axe

Guy Pearce as Dr. Emil Harting

Lamorne Morris as Wilfred Wigans

Talulah Riley as Gina DeCarlo

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