She
6/10
This
movie is a fucking fever dream! She was terrible but good but
terrible but stupid but entertaining. I did not get bored watching
this and spent most of the time going “The fuck?” I had to have
said that out loud at least a dozen damn time. This takes place in a
future ravaged by a nuclear war called The Cancellation. These two
dudes set out to find the sister of one of them and end up being
captured by a group of women led by a woman named She who says she is
a goddess. They torture the men and have them chant all day. Its
weird. The guys end up escaping and I legit can not tell you how
because this entire movie is about ending up somewhere, captured, and
escaping again. Two ladies from the tribe go to chase after them. I
may mix up the order of captures by the way. There are at least
three. Wait. Four. Okay. Fuck it. Let's go.
So the
two guys wander the wasteland which is not really one since there is
plenty of food and clothing and such. They find a nice ass house with
rich people doing rich shit. They eat chicken. Dance. One of the guys
who escaped tries to bone down with one of the lady's and his friend
is just like “He's an asshole” and continues eating his dry
looking chicken. They fall asleep and the rich people turn into
vampires. They are supposed to be wolves according to the description
but they look nothing like wolves. Like, at all. The warrior ladies
show up and they easily beat all of them and escape. Are the men
captured? I guess. Its no longer quite sure. They leave and fight
some giant dude dressed in a tutu and get gassed and captured
(again!) by some dude who locks them in plastic and hangs them like
plants. They start a fire and escape.
Next
they end up captured by some dude with telekinetic powers and a cult.
The men are fine but the women get slapped with leather and tortured.
The men feel bad for the women and disguise themselves and rescue one
of them. The other is about to get the sex by the psychic leader man
whose lady follower stabs him. With his last bit of power he wraps a
rope around her neck and chokes her to death. The group watches all
of this from two feet away. The lady She is like “I am your leader
now!” and the cult just kneel. It was that easy. Then they leave
and the credits roll.
Kidding!
They end up in a cult of fake Nazis called Nords. Well, two of them
do. I don't know where one of the women went. They have a death
battle and only three are left and it turns out its the two guys and
one of the women. The Nord leader says that he knows her and they are
gonna fuck her whole life up...and lets them free. The fuck? They rig
this bridge and have a bootleg ass Spartan standoff and actually win.
Oh, I forgot to mention the guy that speaks in TV gibberish that
multiplies when you cut a limb off. That was a thing. They beat the
Nords pretty easily and backup appears as they are running away.
Great timing! This movie was insane and by the time it ended, and it
ends so oddly, I slow clapped alone in my apartment. Check this
nonsense out on Amazon.
Sandahl
Bergman as She
David
Goss as Tom
Quin
Kessler as Shandra
Harrison
Muller as Dick
Elena
Wiedermann as Hari
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