Sunday, December 27, 2020

Casting Slouch: Fantastic Four


Marvel Studios
now has control of the next Fantastic Four movie and I am excited about this. It is going to be directed by Jon Watts who directed the latest Spider-Man movies which have both been incredible. I have seen every movie made about these characters and sadly (and oddly) the one that came closest to feeling sincere to the characters was the oldest Roger Corman film made in 1994. Its all over the internet if you wanna watch it. Its hilarious. With the movies made in 2005 and 2007 they didn't for a moment feel like a team let alone a family. The 2015 I liked though it had a lot of issues had the same problem. They have always been portrayed as people that wouldn't want to be around one another let alone work together.


I would want these movies to focus on their relationships first and their powers second. I mean their relationship with their main villain Doctor Doom as well. No rush to have him in a mask immediately. I am gonna write about each of these characters and how I would have them portrayed in the new films. This is not going to start off already in the MCU because it would make no sense considering all the shit that has happened and they haven't been seen. I also don't want them to be a brand new team. Spider-Man spared us seeing Uncle Ben shot for the tenth time and we don't need to see these people shoot off into space and get radiated. You will also notice I want people in their damn 30's.

Hayden Christensen as Reed Richards aka Mr. Fantastic



Yes. This is who I want as Reed Richards. I know most people know him from Star Wars and think he can't act. Based on Awake and Shattered Glass alone this dude should be in way more movies than he has been. This is an established Reed Richards. I want him and his team to have transformed from a lab experiment. Leave out the space aspect of this because our bodies aren't ready. Hell, make it a material from space to have caused them to transform. He and his wife Sue Storm are trying to have children but having issues due to the radiation and that makes their marriage rough due to him obsessing over trying to cure them. His curing makes Ben Grimm's condition worse where he goes from having skin that is slightly damaged looking and hard to fully turning into Thing. He is not a fan of Sue's brother who takes nothing seriously and is secretly to blame for the lab accident which only his sister knows. Drama! The accident also injured his friend Victor Von Doom but I'll get to him later. He has the same stretching ability but is used in creative ways. Oh, and the world knows about their accident but not the extent of how they were changed immediately. Super genius who has done many interviews and very public.


Evan Rachel Wood as Sue Storm aka Invisible Woman



This was a hard one for me to come up with. I wanted someone with a name, good at what she did (acting), and not attached to any other Marvel films. Handles the business of the family as well as being wife to Reed but does not get the amount of credit she deserves. Very close to her brother after being raised in foster homes together after the death of their parents. She will do anything for him. Joined the military for six years as he became a professional baseball player (I'll get to that). Outgoing personality publicly but very quiet behind closed doors since most of her family life is so public. After the lab explosion she has the ability to turn invisible, make objects she touches invisible, and create force fields. Tense relationship with Reed due to his constant lab work and the fact that they can not have children. Also, he's kind of a dick.


Zac Efron as Johnny Storm aka Human Torch



I needed an actor that is funny and attractive and this dude fits the bill. This is the role I could be the most flexible on but Efron is the first name that comes to mind. Johnny Storm is a fuck up that his sister Sue has been watching over his entire life. He is good at sports and chooses baseball mostly for the travel opportunities and earns the name The Human Torch for his ability to pitch. Yeah. I said it. He retires after five years to pursue a career in MMA which last just a few fights. He relinquishes the title after 8 fights in three years mostly because it was damaging his face. The day of the lab accident he had partied too hard and decided to stay at the plaza the family stays in. He knew there would be a lot of media attention and wanted to be seen so he stuck around. After the accident it takes him two months to stop continuously burning and is shocked that his skin is untouched. Eventually gains the ability to fly and shoot flames but not at first. Sticks around with the team because it is pure adventure for him...and money.


Jesse Plemons as Ben Grimm aka The Thing



Plemons is the shit. You've probably seen him and not known it. This guy can act his ass off. I want him as Ben Grimm so much he was my choice even in my previous post on who I wanted to play these characters when I wrote a post back in 2016. Ben has pretty much been Reed's bodyguard his whole life. He's used to living in the shadow of him and after the lab accident hides even more as his skin begins to harden more and more. By the time he is 80% looking like the Thing we all know he is a complete grouch and doesn't want to be around anyone. Stronger than he needs to be at times. Johnny gets him to come out of his shell and accept that they are different now and have to continue fighting for their family and the world. I want this to be a combination of mostly practical effects and some CGI for his look.


Jovan Adepo as Victor Von Doom aka Doctor Doom



Oh, no Dante made him a Black man! That's right. Not to be weird or try to shake shit up but because this guy is a great actor. Look him up, you raspberries. I want him to be someone who is younger than Reed but intellectually his equal which Reed both admired and was jealous of. I also want to do something with his name differently. Call him Victor Vodom or something. I don't know. The day of the accident he was invited by Reed as a way to show off what he had found...though Doom had originally found the material that was being experimented on but Reed had the means to attain it faster financially. A technological genius as well as scientist after the accident besides his skin being disfigured every computerized device he touches gets fried causing him to have to wear special mechanical gloves created for him by Reed as an apology he could never say aloud. This eventually becomes armor and then his mask. Latveria ain't mentioned in this. Deal with it.


Click here for previous Casting Slouch.

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