The Review: Love Hurts

Love Hurts 1/10

This movie was ass. I had heard of it and realized that I could just stream it so I did. Thankfully I wasn't expecting too much because I got even less than that. Guy named Marvin is a realtor and loving his life when suddenly this lady Rose he was once in love with comes back. He was supposed to have killed her for his brother Knuckles but let her live and now she wants her life back. Whatever the fuck that means. Different hitmen come after Marvin looking for Rose. They try to give the hitmen personalities which I blame Smokin' Aces for. The fight scenes go from “Oh, this is good” to “Okay, so now everyone is clumsy and can no longer fight. Got it.” This movie has some actual people that have made good movies and can act but there is only so much you can do with this trash ass story and writing. This reminded me of how everyone wants to be John Wick and Nobody but end up being Proud Mary, Atomic Blonde, and recently Novocaine. Just pure flash with no substance. Relationships feel forced. Music scenes jarring. Reactions ridiculous. Just...no.

Ke Huy Quan as Marvin Gable

Ariana DeBose as Rose Carlisle

Daniel Wu as Alvin "Knuckles" Gable

Marshawn Lynch as King

Mustafa Shakir as The Raven/Roger

Lio Tipton as Ashley

Rhys Darby as Kippy Betts

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Christmas In Carolina

Christmas In Carolina 0/10

I should give this a 1/10 because we laughed so hard at how badly this was made. I'm not even sure why we watched this. I think my lady wanted revenge for making her watch some movies she didn't like. This movie is about an unlikable woman that has a sister that says she should be dating. She meets with this guy and they have a raggedy ass date where she just gives him attitude. He likes her though. Why? Still not clear. So they go on another date where she gets mad because his phone range at the end and she made an effort to not be on hers. I'm still not sure what jobs either of them have but I guess they are successful at it. By the next time they meet he plans on proposing to her and his brother hates this and says that he did this last year and ruined Christmas for their mother. Misunderstandings happen but they all make up at the end and everyone lives happily ever after in what seems like weeks after meeting.

The Review: Opus

Opus 2/10

Yeah. Spoilers for a movie none of y'all will ever watch. My lady started watching this and suggested it to me out of curiosity. It was ass. It didn't get a 1 or 0 because I finished it and liked a couple of the songs. This is about a pop star from the 90s named Alfred Moretti coming out of retirement and people getting excited about it. This journalist Ariel gets an invite to the confusion of everyone at her job and her boss get invited along with some other people I don't care to discuss. They arrive on a plane and then take a bus to this compound. Its all weird and obviously a cult. Moretti has them all in rooms with a camera and someone who follows them around. He is hosting a dinner and Ariel stands there like an idiot as someone shaves her pubes because Moretti likes pubes a certain way.

The Review: Evil Season One

Evil Season One 7/10

A while back I started watching this series Evil after my friend suggested it and I checked out a couple of episodes before suggesting it to my lady. She started watching the show faster than me and I had to play catch up so we could watch together. This series is about a studying priest named David Acosta that checks out cases for the Catholic church seeing whether or not someone is for real possessed or just crazy. Dr. Kristen Bouchard is a psychologist that ends up working with David and balancing her insane ass life. Ben works with David and is skeptical as hell and helps with technical issues that comes up.

The Review: Kinky Boots

Kinky Boots 7/10

This past weekend my lady let me pick some movies to watch and thankfully they didn't stink. We started with Kinky Boots. I somehow had never seen this movie but have seen the live stage show multiple times and wanna see it again. I will admit it was odd seeing a story I knew but without them singing about what was happening. I will say though that the story is pretty much the same except for one change that was not major in any way and the meaning had the same impact.

The Review: Night Swim

Night Swim 5/10

Last weekend we started watching this movie cause there are too many streaming options and sometimes we watch something random as hell. This starts off in 1992 with this little girl sleeping in bed when the sound of a toy boat in the pool wakes her up. Her name is Rebecca. She goes to her brother's room who is on oxygen and says she is gonna go grab it for him since he had lost it. She tries fishing it out and it keeps scooting away. Eventually her ass is yanked in and still trying to get the boat. Undeterred she keeps trying until some mass pulls her under and she vanishes. 

The Review: In This Our Life

In This Our Life 7/10

Last week my lady and I went on a Warner Bros lot tour and Bette Davis kept coming up and we found this movie and checked it out. The premise sounded super simple like a woman steals her sisters man...for starters. I was like tell me more. Oh lord did they tell me more. This movie had a lot of stuff happening and from the way it began I did not expect it to end with a fiery car crash!

This is gonna sound confusing because this family got weird names and the girls have typically dude names. The father Asa used to run a company but now just works at it. He is walking home with Parry. Parry's mother works as a housekeeper for the family and he helps with driving and washing cars along with at a shop. Black people used to be too busy. So Asa comes home and his wife Lavinia is in bed and sick for no reason. She is like on those Hitchcock episodes where an old lady is just in bed but not coughing or anything. Just...unhealthy. But they always have the energy to fuss.