The Review: T.I.M

T.I.M 2/10

Taking a break out of writing another review to knock this one out. My lady told me about this movie called T.I.M and said that I was gonna like it or shit on it. Well, I got my cheeks spread and not in joy. This movie is pretending to be a lot of other better films. If this had come out in the early 2000's or maybe late 90s it would have been more novel. But watching this in 2024 I knew what was gonna happen, who was gonna die, and how it would end within the first ten minutes. By the way, this movie moved by at a snails pace. This engineer named Abi gets a high position at the robotic company she works at. She gets a prototype for for a robot servant named Tim that she has to take. Excuse me? Abi and her husband Paul move into this new home for a fresh start because Paul is a ho. Since she can't trust him around other women I guess moving to a place where there is no one else works. Oh, and he doesn't have a job as far as I could tell.

Curtain Call: Doña Perón

Doña Perón 9/10

Last night Cam and I went to a show at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion. I was not sure what to expect and thought that this huge dance thing happening outside was it. I was wrong. Her friends showed up as well and we went into this fancy ass looking building. I felt very under-dressed for this place. I have never seen a ballet or dance thing like this before. I read the program before it began to get the gist of the story and what is crazy is that the performances were done so well that I still would have gotten the gist of the show even without it.

The Review: Interview With The Vampire Part 2

Interview With The Vampire Part II 10/10

Hey. Listen. Hey. Okay. Watch this show. Season one was incredible and I gave it a 10/10. I have to do the same with this one because not only was it just as good but it may possibly be even better? Yeah. I think it was better. L. and I waited for this to come on every Sunday and got to the point where we ordered AMC+ just to watch the finale commercial free. The acting, clothing, story, scenes, just everything about this show is good and I have zero complaints. The even replaced Claudia and I didn't mind. I actually prefer this new one to the old. The fact that they managed to make this so interesting with minimum Lestat is a testament to how good the writing on this show is. This season starts off after the murder of Lestat with Louis and Claudia traveling Europe.

Documentality: The Man With 1000 Kids

The Man With 1000 Kids Ew/10

Jonathan Jacob Meijer is gross. The end.

This won't be too long. This is about this Jonathon dude that donates sperm to companies and women wanting to start a family and having trouble for whatever reason. You go online, look for a donor that fits what you looking for in a future child (hobbies and looks seem to be the most important), and get that sweet man gravy. He used a company where they had a certain amount you could donate on top of people using his services privately and doing it all over the world. In one part of the world he did it to the point where people knew one another that now had kids that were siblings. Though the number as far as they know around the world is 600 I assume that is bullshit and there are far more. They interview various people explaining the process of using this guy (and it turns out possibly one more because they were mixing their juices together for funsies).

Sitting In The Aisle: A Quiet Place Day One

A Quiet Place Day One 8/10

It has been so long since I have seen a movie in a theater and I have missed it so much. L. and I tried out the new Landmark near me that changes to something else every few years. I have zero complaints about the new changes inside because them seats felt great and the popcorn was very good. Just confused about having tickets taken or purchased in the same spot as buying food. Super bottle neck because of that. I should probably talk about what we watched. It was A Quiet Place Day One. I have not seen the first movie but watched so many reaction videos that I feel like I have. I did see the second film and liked it though I had questions that after seeing this one will never be answered. I will try to explain why I feel this way later.

The Review: Inside Out

Inside Out 9/10

I always say this, but it takes a lot for me to get into the new animated films that come out. Either they have a weak ass story or are just not made for me. This movie may not be made for my old ass but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I have heard about this for a long time but never sat down and watched it until this past weekend with L. There were some scenes that made me laugh hard as hell.

The Review: The Book Of Clarence

The Book Of Clarence 5/10

I shit you not, until gathering the names of the cast of this I thought that Donald Glover played Jesus in this. Wow. I was super wrong. This is about a guy named Clarence who is hustling but not super successful at any of it. He decides to start performing “miracles” like Jesus which pisses off the apostles including his twin brother who is the 12th of them. I honestly don't have too much to say about this movie. It isn't bad but I couldn't sit here and say you should rush out and see it. The cinematography looks good and it has some good songs...but. The story has an issue with tone. It jumps from one feeling to another without giving enough time to let one settle which is odd considering how long this movie was. I checked it out on Netflix. Its a perfectly okay film.

LaKeith Stanfield as Clarence/Thomas

Omar Sy as Barabbas

Anna Diop as Varinia

RJ Cyler as Elijah

David Oyelowo as John the Baptist

Micheal Ward as Judas Iscariot

Alfre Woodard as Virgin Mary

Teyana Taylor as Mary Magdalene

Caleb McLaughlin as Dirty Zeke

Marianne Jean-Baptiste as Amina

James McAvoy as Pontius Pilate

Benedict Cumberbatch as Benjamin

Chase Dillon as Cabbage

Nicholas Pinnock as Jesus

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Outer Range Season 2

Outer Range Season 2 (6/10)

I really struggled coming up with a score for this season. The more I sat on it after finishing with L. a couple of weeks ago the lower the score dropped. Some of it has to do with timelines and time travel not being explained. On top of all of that this is an Amazon series and there is no guarantee that there will be a third season to possibly answer any question I have. I can't write this as a straight up review so this will be more of me asking questions and trying to answer them myself without looking things up. This is gonna be a mess.

The Review: American Fiction

American Fiction 10/10

This was a great film! That's all I should say and make you watch this on Amazon but people need more evidence so I will talk some about this. Thelonious “Monk” Ellison is a smart ass writer of books but rubs people the wrong way constantly. In his class one of his students is uncomfortable with him using the n-word in a old book and he causes her to storm out the room. I didn't disagree with him, though. I don't use the word but I remember in high school they had us reading Tom Sawyer and it was the first time I got to use that word with the hard R. I felt good because they were making us read that wack shit but bad because I hate the word. Back to the movie.

The Review: The Players Club

The Players Club 8/10

So L. had me watch this crazy ass movie. I had heard of it and knew Ice Cube made a song for it. I didn't know he was also in the movie and directed it. This movie is fucking crazy. It starts off with this girl named Diana/Diamond standing in front of a burnt ass strip club which did nothing but make me accuse different people of starting the fire until the end of the movie. She wants to go to a certain college and her father disagrees so she leaves. Her mom tries to stop her and by stop her I mean she stops at the porch and begs her not to go. Trifflin' ass mothers. One day at the shoe store she's working at these ladies named Ronnie and Tricks tell her she could make some money stripping. By the way, I would not be going to any club these women worked at. I am too used to the quality of women from P-Valley and would immediately know these women were up to no good. Strike one.

The Review: X-Men 97

X-Men 97 (9/10)

After the death of Professor Charles Xavier Cyclops is now leading the X-Men. Well. In the first episode Cyclops was cooler than he ever was on the old cartoon. It took Charles death for the government to sanction the team for battles. They save this kid, Roberto da Costa, from this mutant haters (Friends of Humanity). Seriously. Cyclops fucking power slides across the ground! I can't get over that shit. These people are using Sentinel tech so the team is like “The fuck they get that from?!” They are looking for Trask but have to get to Gyrich first. These are a bunch of names I have not heard in years by the way. He wont talk so Jean Grey is like “Lemme see somethin'” and gets in his mind box. She sees a bunch of honked up stuff but they are able to find Trask who has an assload of Sentinels and a Master Mold. Cyclops and Jean let the team know that they plan on leaving because Jean is pregnant. Magneto shows up and is like “Guess what? Charles left me in charge!”

The Review: Grease

Grease 7/10

Last week L. had me watch this movie after being shocked I'd not seen it. As far as I knew this movie had a couple of songs in it and was about street racing. There are a lot of songs and dancing and one single damned street race. This takes place in the late 1950's and begins with this dude named Danny and a girl named Sandy being goofy at the beach building sand castles and having a great time. She is from Australia and leaving when summer is over and they decide to just enjoy one another. School starts and Danny is running with his T-Bird gang. Not sure how gangy they really are. There is Danny, one other normal seeming guy, and three dweebs. I would not be afraid of this crew even though they all appear to be adult men.

The Review: The Five Heartbeats

 

The Five Heartbeats 8/10

L. got me to watch Black movie that I had never seen. I have heard of this movie and seen random references to it but never had a strong desire to check this out. Turns out I really enjoyed it. This is about a former singing group called The Heartbeats. There is Duck, his older brother JT, Dresser, Choirboy, and Eddie King Jr. I mention his government name because this man is a problem. All of them are but in different ways. This starts off with Duck looking at a magazine cover asking whatever happened to various musicians from back in the day. We flashback to the group losing a talent show to a weird ass band. A manager named Jimmy shows up and says he will pay them $100 if they don't win the next show. They lose and he coughs up the cash and his wife is like “We are not going through this again.” Turns out he has been betrayed in the past in the music industry. They agree to let him manage them after the clubs owner wants them.

The Review: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent 8/10

I thoroughly enjoyed this weird ass movie whose title I will never remember. This was suggested when my Roku went into screen saver mode and I thought “I vaguely know about this” and recall seeing a gif from this online. You know the one.

The Review: The Marvels

The Marvel 0/10

This movie was ass. That's all you need to read because I am gonna ramble about how much I disliked this nonsense that had no need to be made. “Does anything really need to be made?” Shut up. No one likes you. So I watched Captain Marvel years ago and it was ass. I couldn't force myself to finish the Ms Marvel series. I really enjoyed Monica in WandaVision even though she was kneecapped from the start. I wrote a blog about how she was actually the first Captain Marvel (click here to read that). So this movie starts with Captain Marvel destroying a planets sun and bouncing. The villain of this who I won't bother mentioning by name because she was so terrible is looking for some bracelets that will give her the power to replenish her planet and be powerful. Its 2010 level Marvel villain shit and I hoped we were past that. When she uses the bracelet it starts messing with the different Marvel powers and each time they use them they switch places. Sometimes. Not all the time. This movie is inconsistent with this and the fighting skills of all three ladies.