The Review: The Gray Man

The Gray Man 7/10

This was a cool movie but I'm not gonna be too descriptive because really there is no need. This dude is locked up in jail in the early 2000's for killing his father because his father was a monster and attacking him and his brother all the time. This CIA dude shows up like “Hey. You did the right thing. Join me. Kill bad people.” Dude, is like, “bet”, and he now works as a killer named Sierra Six. One mission in Bankgkok he is supposed to take this dude out but won't because a kid is close by and something seems off. Also his new boss Carmichael is a total dick. He chases the dude down and its another Sierra team member who knows there is some dirty nonsense going on. He dies and leaves Six with information to bring Carmichael down. Now Six is a target and Carmichael is doing everything to stop him. He hires this lunatic named Lloyd to kill him, has the former boss' granddaughter held hostage, brings in multiple teams of killers, and has a woman blow herself up to stop the bad guys. Its a lot of action and though the movie is long as hell it manages to fly by fairly quickly. It reminded me of a late 80's or early 90's action film but with a bigger budget. I liked the camera work (people are complaining about all the drone shots) and the music. Good casting as well. I liked who I was supposed to like and hated who I hated. What made me give this a lower score was the length and the final battle at the end. It was like running a marathon and someone handing you a bowl of oatmeal instead of water at the finish line. Its on Netflix so y'all can check it out.

Ryan Gosling as "Sierra Six"

Chris Evans as Lloyd Hansen

Ana de Armas as Dani Miranda

Jessica Henwick as Suzanne Brewer

Regé-Jean Page as Denny Carmichael

Julia Butters as Claire Fitzroy

Alfre Woodard as Margaret Cahill

Billy Bob Thornton as Donald Fitzroy

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Sitting In The Aisle: Nope

Nope 9/10

Spoilers! I was finally able to go see a brand new movie in a theater!!! Took three years but it happened. L. and I went to see Nope at the AMC on Sunset and since it is one of my two favorite theaters I was very happy. So with a belly full of Pinche's Tacos we went to see the movie...after half an hour of trailers. AMC needs to chill on that. So this movie starts on a old TV show set with a chimp straight up murdering people while someone watches from under a table. A balloon popping set it off and it went bananas. Ha. The monkey, Gordy, goes for a fist bump from the young boy, Jupe, that is watching and then gets its head blown off. They show that later on though.

The Review: Choose Or Die

Choose Or Die 2/10

This was a movie that could have been good but somehow lost its way. It reminded me of those shows I wont even begin to watch because based on the premise I know its gonna have a not-ending. L. was watching this and I missed the first scene but she told me what happened and I got the gist of it. Video game collector finds this old game called CURS>R and it starts interacting with his real life in dangerous ass ways. Months later this girl named Kayla who is friends with this guy named Isaac gets the game from him. She heads home and her mother is on drugs after Kayla accidentally let her younger brother drown. She works nights and her life seems like ass. Oh, and a guy in the building wants to sleep with her, her mom, and gives mom drugs so that's cool.

The Review: The Inkwell

The Inkwell 4/10

Okay. So I had never seen The Inkwell. I had heard of it and thought it was one of those classic Black movies that I managed to go decades without seeing. Well...this movie was ass and weird. It is about this 16 year old boy named Drew with the worlds thickest, driest afro who is a weirdo from New York in 1976. His family plans on going to see his aunt and her family in Martha's Vineyard. He talks to himself saying just random shit and has a doll that he talks to and speaks to him...in his mind. So they head out to this place and everyone seems to hate each other. Drew's grandmother seems to hate his mom. His aunt's husband seems to hate Drew's father. Drew's father hates all of them. He is a former Black Panther. He thinks the family is very uppity. I don't think so. I think they are just weirdos just like everyone else in the film.

Drew hangs with his cousin Junior who is a ladies man I guess. His room is filthy and he has two friends who are goofballs. As L. pointed out at least these guys aren't mean to Drew. They take him to the beach and Drew spots this girl named Lauren who has a perpetually shitty look on her face. At home it is never made clear why Drew's grandmother doesn't like her daughter. The fathers keep getting into it and they end up fighting on a tennis court at one point. Drew's parents are on the verge of divorce. Turns out that Drew set the house on fire and people are worried that he's nuts. I would say so. Drew gets set up with a therapist and she sees him talking to the doll in his bag. Drew meets this older lady named Heather whose husband Harold cheats on her at least three times in this movie.

Curtain Call: Kinky Boots

Kinky Boots 9/10

I finally got to see Kinky Boots again! This is my fourth time seeing the show and every time I have its always different people playing the parts. One guy will better a better Lola. Another a better Charlie. This time everyone was the best version of these characters. If you are wondering why I didn't give this a 10/10 it is because the sound issues at The Hollywood Bowl. Like...its the fucking Hollywood Bowl. Why are they having sound issues? Regardless, it was much better than the sound at Pantages where I've seen this three previous times and adapted to the bad sound system. Also they had kids perform again. Its only happened the first time I'd seen the play. Since 2020 I have missed being able to go see this show because it has become a tradition.

The Review: The Boys Season 3

The Boys Season 3 (10/10)

Holy shit this show is good! This gonna be full of spoilers. I need to figure out how the hell I am even gonna write about this because there are a lot of people and a lot of things happening. Maybe I will just go character by character and try to tie all of their stories together and see how it goes. This is gonna be a mess. This season was the most violent, funniest, most somehow emotional, and best acted season so far. First season was good. Second was great. This was incredible!

The Review: The Great Gatsby

The Great Gatsby 8/10

Weeks ago I finally watched The Great Gatsby. I had never read the book or seen any other versions of this but I do remember seeing the meme from this. I thought this was a movie about a dude that loved to party all the time. I was very wrong. This is told through the eyes of a guy that lived next door to Gatsby. His name is Nick and he is getting treatment at a hospital and is told to just write about Gatsby. In 1922 he moves to his new place and there is this dude that throws these crazy ass parties. His cousin Daisy is married to an asshat named Tom. He is loaded. Nick gets invited to Gatsby's party which a mutual friend of Daisy named Jordan is surprised because no one gets invited. Daisy's husband brings Nick to a town called Valley of Ashes where he messes around with a woman who is very much not his wife.

The Review: The Umbrella Academy Season 3

Umbrella Academy Season 3 (6/10)

This wont be long. I know that I said I was not gonna watch this show if they made it but I did. I ended up ironing and plowing through the third season. This was definitely better than the second one even though there were way more people. Just like previous seasons it picks up right where the last one left off. The team is stuck in an alternate reality where their goofy asses were never created. Instead their adoptive father created the Sparrow Academy because when he met them in the 60's he realized that they were fuck ups and wanted to fix that. Just like before the world is going to end because of things they have done and mistakes that were made and they need to stop it and they do but not without a bunch of confusion in between. The new team seems to have a more famous lifestyle than the Umbrella Academy did but seem like jerks still. None are really likable. Again for the third time in a row Klaus and Five are the most interesting parts of the series. Vanya/Viktor remains uninteresting. Diego is a shit fighter. Luther's a jackass. And Allison is a monster.

The Review: A Thin Line Between Love And Hate

 

A Thin Line Between Love And Hate 7/10

This movie was crazy as hell. L. picked this one out for me to watch for the first time. This is about this dude named Darnell that is a nightclub manager that gives out VIP cards like free candy to women he wants to have sex with. Like, he got mothers, laundry workers, whoever. Even though he sleeping with all these women he still has a thing for a woman he knew when he was little. I think most guys do by the way. Her name is Mia and she is in the Air Force and home to visit. One day outside the club he spots lady who refuses to deal with him and his friend Tee's advances. He slips his card into her limo as she drives away.

You Had One Job: Ms. Marvel

I think I am gathering more of an understanding as to why I am not enjoying the Ms. Marvel series. Other than the fact that I am not close to its target audience being a 40 something year old Black dude. Reading about how the show was designed with Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World as inspiration made me frown since I didn't like that movie. Her hero, Captain Marvel, was one of the worst MCU films for me so its hard to root for a character who is inspired by her and makes me roll my eyes when she raves about how cool she was. I mean, she has had one movie and showed up in another and its not like she defeated Thanos. She gets way too much credit. If you wanna read me talking about that film you can click here because I don't need to get too into it here.

The Review: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness 9/10

ALL KINDA SPOILERS!!! This movie felt like a great culmination of watching way too many MCU TV shows and movies and reading and listening to comic book videos on YouTube. L. and I never got to see this in theaters (my fault) but I was happy that this was coming out on Disney+ and that I managed to not have any of this spoiled which is amazing considering how many surprises were in this for me. This starts with a girl named America Chavez and Strange fighting against this crazy ass demon. They are trying to reach a book and he is telling her to use her power of teleporting through realities to help. She can't control them and he ends up trying to use her powers, meaning kill her, to finish the job. He ends up dying and she teleports their corpses away. Meanwhile Strange in out universe is at Christine's wedding and saying he is happy. He not happy. He miserable and cranky. One of his old coworkers asks if giving Thanos the stone was truly the right thing to do seeing as how he vanished for years and his brother and cats all died.

Documentality: Our Father/Baby God/Keep Sweet Pray And Obey

Our Father Oh?/10

Not quite sure how I ended up watching three damned documentaries about disgusting ass men but here I am. The first was Our Father on Netflix. It is about this fertility doctor that spent 30 years using his own sperm to impregnate women in a small town. He was bitten in the ass by all these new ancestry sites and DNA kits and when this woman started looking into him ended up finding out that she had over 100 siblings. This got progressively worse as the episode went on with more popping up and how his church stuck by him through it. That is one thing these documentaries will show you: church can be used as a dangerous weapon and a shield. There was no law that said he couldn't be a fucking creep so he ended up in court but got like a $500 fine.

The Review: No Time To Die

No Time To Die 1/10

This movie? Wack. The acting? Wack. The music? Wack. The story? Wack. Seriously, I did not enjoy this at all and didn't give it a 0/10 because I finished it. All I knew about this beforehand was that folks were mad about a Black woman being the new Bond. James Bond is still James Bond. This woman got the 007 name after he left which was done to be petty I guess. This could have been an hour long with how thin the story was. It had been so long since the last film I forgot he had a consistent love interest in any way. I really have nothing else to add. I did not like this. I almost didn't even write this cause its not really a review. Not gonna bother listing the cast either. Like, this movie had some action scenes that were separated by weak dialogue.

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The Review: Outer Range

Outer Range 8/10

This series was crazy as hell. I really enjoyed Outer Range because I could not figure out what was going on or where the series was going. But what I liked most about it is what worries me. I fear that the creators of this show do not have a clear ending like a lot of shows I have made fun of and didn't bother watching. You know the types of shows that have a cool premise but end up canceled or being terrible because there was no clear cut exit. This series is about a family with an assload of secrets that threaten not only them but seemingly the future. This guy named Royal Abbott lives on this ranch with his wife Cecelia who is losing her mind and religion, their two sons Rhett who rides bulls, and Perry whose wife vanished leaving him with their daughter, Amy. One day this spooky ass woman named Autumn shows up and she seems to know some secrets about the land and wants to stay there.

The Review: Fantastic Beasts The Secrets of Dumbledore

Fantastic Beasts The Secrets of Dumbledore 7/10

Thanks to L. I have now seen every Harry Potter movie as well as Fantastic Beasts and Crimes Of Grindelwald. This is not gonna be a flat out review of the movie. I enjoyed it but the more I think about it I can't get over the fact that Johnny Depp was replaced the way he was (though he still got paid because “pay or play” exists) and while the new actor they chose is okay I was digging the hell out of Depp in the role, especially in the second film. I would have loved to see how he would have been in this and in some alternate universe he is in this and rocked that shit. Hell, they could have just lade up one line like “Grindelwald has used a spell and changed his appearance!” They kept the fucking problem child in this movie who has been a problem for a long ass time in this but not the guy that hasn't been convicted of a crime. Okay. I'm done ranting about that. I try to leave real life shit out of the stuff I watch but with this is felt weird not to considering the shit is still going on.