Monday, May 1, 2017

The Review: American Gods Episode 1 "The Bone Orchard"

American Gods “The Bone Orchard” 10/10

There will be spoilers. I have wanted to watch this series American Gods ever since I heard it was being made. I loved the book (never read the follow ups which I will do this summer) and when I saw the trailer for this I knew they had gone all out. It stars Ricky Whittle as a newly released prisoner named Shadow Moon. He was arrested for assault a while back but is being released a few days early. He is told that he is getting out but its a few days beforehand because his wife was killed. He has some flashbacks of another prisoner telling him stories and life tips that will later become useful.

While waiting for his plane he sees an old man close to losing it get bumped to first class. He later boards and and he himself gets first class seating right across from the old man. He calls himself Mr. Wednesday and he is played by Ian McShane. He knows a lot of information about Shadow and offers him a job. Shadow declines. He just wants to go to his wife's funeral. At a bar he meets Mr. Wednesday once again and a guy that claims to be a leprechaun named Mad Sweeney played by Pablo Schreiber. He wants to fight Shadow and teach him his gold coin trick if he wins. Shadow chooses not to until Sweeney starts talking that shit about Shadow's wife.

Meanwhile this fine ass woman named Bilquis played by Yetide Badaki meets this old guy on a date. He says his kids convinced him to try online dating an he can't believe he lucked out and found her. Hell, I'd try online dating too if women looking and acting like her showed up! He tries to take it slow but she is having none of that shit and has him on top of her, then she gets on top of him and makes him worship her. She slowly starts growing, he is not freaking out and is in some kinda trance. Eventually she shoves him right up in her vajayjay. Yep. Just...right on up in there.

Shadow makes it to his wife's funeral and it is a mess. Her friend is there drunk as a skunk and telling Shadow how his wife died with her husbands dick in her mouth! Shadow of course had no idea being in jail and all. Even after she gets buried and Shadow is trying to have a moment she shows up and keeps talking shit about is wife and her husband. She pissed on his grave and now wants to fuck on top of it. Shadow declines much to her chagrin. While walking he spots some weird ass device to leaps onto his head and puts him in some weird virtual reality where he is questioned by a synthetic frog smoking kid named Technical Boy played by Bruce Langley.

After being kicked to shit by a bunch of faceless men and hung from a tree Shadow is saved by someone who turns these guys into meat. One of them is split from the bottom up down the middle. Shadow doesn't know who saved him and neither do I because that is how the episode ended. I will be checking out this show every week. I am spoiled from being able to just plow through a season in one or two days. Its gonna take some getting used to waiting every week for this one.

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