Game
Of Thrones Season 8 “The Bells”
This
will be full of ALL THE SPOILERS! Full disclosure: I cursed a lot
while watching this episode. I cursed along with characters. I cursed
when they didn't but should have on account of what was happening. By
the way, I know someone that is deep into reading what other folks
have to say about this season and she will tell or show me the stuff.
I gotta say...y'all are some toxic motherfuckers. Like, for real.
Instead of disagreeing with the way a show is going you choose to say
it is the worst thing ever as if there was a way it could've gone and
pleased you. They are giving movie length episodes every week for six
weeks and ending on a high note unlike most TV shows and yet a lot of
you choose to shit on it. Varys is sitting down writing all of the
juicy G about the fact that Jon should be running shit and not his
potentially/confirmed this episode crazy auntie/girlfriend. A little girl
lets him know that she ain't eating or anything. She hasn't even
combed her hair since Missandei died.
Varys
meets Jon down as he arrives and is pushing for him to take control
over Dany. Jon is still being a dick-butt about the whole thing which
at this point I still don't understand. Jon understands later though.
This episode should have been called “Too Little Too Late.” Jon
is in full “She is my queen” mode and when people say that or
talk about destiny there is nothing you can do. Tyrion heads to talk
to Dany and she is all “Someone betrayed me.” Gulp! She says it
is Jon. Tyrion says it is Varys. You snitch! Dany is like “Sansa
knew you would tell Varys who will tell others.” Tyrion is like I
fucked up but it was just a mistake” and she is like “Don't matter.”
Later that night while Varys is updating his Tumblr the Unsullied
come in and he knows the score. He removes his jewelry and burns a
note before they even get in the room. He is led down to the beach
where Tyrion, soldiers, Jon, and Dany are waiting. Tyrion lets Varys
know it was him and says goodbye before Dany has her last dragon set
his ass ablaze. Jon is standing there looking all stupid. I was just
talking to my best friend the other night about how cool Varys is and
how he started from the literal bottom and rose up. Now he dead.
Thanks, Tyrion!
Later
in the bedroom Dany tells Jon that Sansa is the reason for Varys
being dead as much as she is. He don't look so sure about that. She
points out that everyone loves him and is just scared of her. Gee, I
wonder the fuck why! Jon says he loves her and she is his queen and
she tries to get all sexy in the way an auntie could and Jon is not
into it. She gives him this look like “Okay. Okay.” Later Tyrion
is trying his best to keep Dany from burning King's Landing down and
save the people. Tyrion tells her to wait and hear bells which means
that Cersei has given up. She tells him the next time he fails her
will be the last. She also lets him know they caught Jaime trying to
run back to Cersei and have him captured. Tyrion gets a key from
Davos and sets Jaime free and they have a really nice moment together
and hug as brothers.
The
Hound and Arya end up in King's Landing and straight up let a guard
know who they are and Arya says she is here to kill Cersei. They end
up riding into the city which is being put on lock down. Jaime is
also in the city and gets caught in the crowd and locked out. He
races to find a secret entrance. Oh, fuck! I forgot! Cersei is
watching all of this with that smug ass smirk on her face and not
afraid...on the outside. Dany comes in on her dragon and starts
wiping out the ships in a far more effective manner than last week.
She hits one of the ships that Euron is on. The Golden Company is at
the gates in a stand off against Jon and his crew and the dragon
burns all their asses. Grey Worm takes out the lead Golden Company
guy and they just run through these guys.
Qyburn
keeps telling Cersei they need to bounce but she is like “We have
arrows to kill the dragon!” and he is like “They gone. The ships
gone. We need to be gone!” She says where they are is the safest
place to be. The city is scorched to shit. Dany is legit just
straight up burning everything. The soldiers look around and end up
throwing their swords down. The fight is done. I think. The bells
have still not been rung. Know why? Jaime ends up coming across Euron
who survived and they end up fighting. He stabs the shit out of Jaime
who ends up running a sword through Euron. Euron laughs saying he is
the man that killed Jaime Lannister. Bastard.
Jaime ends up ringing
the bell and everything should be finished. No more city burning.
They win. Dany looks at the capitol where Cersei is and is like
“Nah!” and starts burning innocent people. The soldiers that quit
start grabbing their swords like “I thought we was good!” and now
there are people being set on fire. Soldiers being stabbed. Throats
sliced. Its fucking insane. Tyrion is watching all this from outside
the gates looking like a damned fool. This is the Dany I have been
waiting for. I know her people and her crazy finally came out. Qyburn
is finally able to convince her to head to safety.
The
Hound and Arya arrive inside and are about to head for Cersei and The
Mountain when The Hound tells her that if she comes with him she will
die and she does not want to end up like him. She tries to come and
he grabs her and forces her to look at him. I was pissed for a second
until I realized it was true. He has spent his entire life wanting
revenge and it turned him into a monster and he did not want that for
her. She can do far more alive than dying today. She thanks The Hound
by his name Sandor and leaves. The Hound finds Cersei, Qyburn, the
Mountain, and three guards trying to run. The castle is collapsing
during everything I am talking about. The Hound greets Cersei and his
brother The Mountain. He steps to The Hound and Qyburn is like “Stop
I made you protect your queen!” and gets his head smashed into a
wall so he dead now. Cersei is like “I'll be going now...” and
skitters away.
The
Hound and The Mountain go the fuck at it! The start of the fight
looks like metal album cover! The Hound is hitting The Mountain and
nothing is working. He starts tossing The Hound around like a rag
doll. He stabs The Mountain and it does nothing. He puts a sword
through his body and it does nothing. Knocks his helmet off. He
starts choking The Hound who starts laughing and stabbing him
screaming “Wont you fucking die?!” He starts digging his thumbs
into The Hounds eyes who screams and then stabs The Mountain in the
eye. The Mountain staggers back and I was like “Yay, he won!”
Nope. The Hound recovers enough and charges The Mountain. They go
crashing through a wall and fall stories below into fire so The Hound
is dead now. Fuck. I mean, I knew he couldn't make it out this show
alive but I am super happy he was able to finally get his revenge.
Cersei
is still on the run and freaking the fuck out when out of the
shadows...Jaime! She rushes to his arms and they hug. I was waiting
for Arya to stab her and remove a Jaime mask or for Jaime to kill
her. Nope. They start looking for the boat Tyrion left for them when
they see that the exit is covered in rubble. Cersei says she wants
their baby to live and starts panicking saying she does not want to
die, not like this. I felt bad for a moment and then remembered all
the people she had killed, her rotten ass son Joffrey, how all of this
could have been avoided, and that she is pregnant with her brothers
kid. I also thought of the fact that Jaime is a dirtbag and the best
thing about him was Brienne and he hit it and quit it on her. So fuck
these two. The castle ends up crushing them to death and I was happy
about it. Would it have been cooler if Arya killed her? Sure. But she
killed the motherfucking Night King! She saved the actual world. So
deal with it, sad people.
Jon is
still in the city watching as Dany burns everything. She is just
burning anything in the city. Not saving people. He is not okay with
what she is doing and calls for a retreat. He even kills one of his
own soldiers who was attacking a woman. Arya is trying to escape and
ends up trampled. She is saved by a woman who has a child and who she
crossed earlier as the escaped the “”good guys.” The woman and
her kid ends up burned alive and Arya just escapes. Arya has been
damn near crushed, trampled, and all manner of fucked up. She sees a
horse standing there like “Whelp...now what?” She hops on and
races out of the city that is totally destroyed. Jon and Tyrion are
gonna have a hard time sticking up for Dany after this shit show. And
what is Sansa gonna do because Dany is gonna smoke her ass like
turkey when she sees her. Fuck, this was intense! My body was not
ready for all the deaths.
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