Theater Whore: Red 2

I was reading my first review of Red that I wrote after first seeing it and it doesn’t sound like I was all that excited about it. Since then I own the movie (an awesome gift) and watch it every month or so because its just a damned fun movie. When I was told there was gonna be a Red 2 I lost my mind because I imagined how fun it would be to see. I wasn’t disappointed. This is just as fun as the first movie. The cast all return except for Morgan Freeman because, well, you know.

Bruce Willis as Frank Moses is trying to live a non-violent life with his lady Sarah played by Mary-Louise Parker. John Malkovich’s Marvin (who is blown up) lets him know that the reason she is with Frank is because of all the excitement he brings in her life and being nice and quiet is not what she wants. After Marvin’s funeral Frank is taken to be interrogated and escapes with Marvin’s help who of course isn’t dead. The escape is fucking awesome by the way. The guy hunting them down is named Jack Horton and he is played by this actor Neal McDonough who is a dick in every movie he is in. He is playing Karl Urban’s role from the first movie but seems way too unhinged to be as high up in the government as he is.

Theater Whore: Warm Bodies

This movie was the first time in a while where something happened in a movie that made me go “Aww…” Warm Bodies is the story of a zombie that begins to want something more out of his life. His not life. It stars Nicholas Hoult as R. He doesn’t remember anything about his life before becoming a zombie let alone his name. He just ambles around the city moaning and occasionally eating brains. He has a friend played by Rob Corddry who is also unnamed but called M that he attempts to have conversations with. They get out parts of words every once in a while.

In a walled off city being run and patrolled by John Malkovich they try to stay safe. His daughter Julie played by a hot version of Kristen Stewart named Teresa Palmer and her boyfriend Perry played by Dave Franco, yes, that other Franco’s brother, and a team head into the city to gather supplies since they are running low. They are attacked and surrounded by zombies with R killing her boyfriend. She doesn’t see this but during the gun battle R spots Julie and feelings start stirring up in his chest.

"Bad Ass Mofo": John Malkovich

“You know, the next time you choose a human shield, you're better off not picking a two-bit negro crackhead.” Cyrus “the Virus” Grissom Con Air

There is only one actor alive that can be in a film starring Nic Cage where he comes off crazier. One man that can go from being a total psychopath in one movie and then turn around and do art house small budget films. One man that can have an entire movie made about what its like to be inside of his own brain. And that man and Bad Ass Mofo of the week is John Malkovich.