Stop It Kristen Stewart

I don't like Kristen Stewart. No, its not just because she ruined the Twilight films every time she zombied her ass onto a scene or because she always has a look on her face like she just smelled a mouse fart. Its because she is making everyone's life difficult because she had an affair with the director of that terrible ass Snow White & The Huntsman film, Rupert Sanders. Now its time for the promotion of the next Twilight film and she and her former boyfriend, Robert Pattinson, cant be in the same place at the same time. Also known as “Pulling a Clark Kent.”

Ooh, I'm tellin'!

Now, I don't have an issue with affairs. I encourage them if you're unhappy. Affairs have kept more marriages together than apart if you ask me. Also, if you have never cheated you've never dated anyone more than three years. I'm just saying. Anyhoot, Kristen got busted by the photos up there and issued an apology to Pattinson.

“This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry.”

First off, you're 22. You don't know what love is. I know that sounds harsh, but 90% of the shit I believed and felt at 22 turned out to be nonsense. And she isn't sorry. She's upset that damned photographer got this picture. If you're gonna cheat, be good about it. Don't wander through parks being one of the most well known and photographed people in the fucking world. So she got caught, Pattinson was like “Yes, I have an out!” and booked it. Now, the one person not being mentioned too much is Sanders future ex-wife, Liberty Ross. She's a model.

Boner achieved. Proceed to next level.

Now, how you can cheat on her with a girl 20 years younger than you and looks like she smells like cat food is beyond me. I know life isn't all about looks. Just 97% of it is. But come on. Kristen over her? Are you out of your fucking mind?! Well, Liberty is like “Fuck you, dude!” and is moving back to England with their kids. She has an accent so I'm sure it sounded sexy. Rob Pattinson is on his own and doing appearances for Twilight minus Kristen's gloomy ass shadow looming nearby.

"Her clit was this big!"

This whole debacle is just further reason for me to never date an actress. I’ve said that there are certain occupations people shouldn’t date and ones I will not go near. Actors are one. Seeing someone I am boning making out on a show or movie is bad enough, let alone finding out she is getting busy with the director of her movie. After this Twilight movie comes out hopefully Kristen will fade away. Did I mention that the Snow White films were bought as a trilogy? And that the directors wife played in the first one? Yeah. That happened! Go away Kristen Stewart.