The Review: The Killer (2024)

The Killer 2/10

This movie was ass. I gave it a 2/10 because the main characters outfits were cool and she looked super cute in one scene. Other than that there is no reason to watch this. I have seen plenty of this directors movies and this felt like a spoof of them. How you gonna remake your own movie and do it so badly? I watched this thinking it was another movie and going “Where is Bautista?” This movie tries to fill in some of the killers past with flashbacks but they don't change the way she looks all that much because she is hot and they don't wanna ugly her up so her hair looks like she just woke up at times in the past.

The Review: The Caped Crusader

 

Batman The Caped Crusader 9/10

I didn't even know this show existed because Amazon just doesn't care sometimes. This should have been on Max because at least they show you new animated shows. I found about this from listening to a podcast and they raved about it. I was hesitant to check it out because there have been so many versions of Batman since the one I loved in the 90s. I would race home from school to catch it and even talk to friends on the phone while it aired. I was shocked when within minutes of watching this I was into it. The animation style. The voice work. The change of characters was surprising and didn't feel forced. Like, Penguin is a mother with children. Gordon and his daughter Barbara are Black. Alfred is younger. Just a lot of changes that were cool.

The Review: Rear Window

Rear Window 8/10

I really liked this movie. L gave me a list of movies to choose from thinking I was gonna pick a musical. I choose this instead. I had heard of it and knew that it had Jimmy Stewart and he stared out a window. I thought it was because he was a weirdo or something. Turns out he (Jeff) got injured taking photos at a car race and his leg got jacked up so now he has to wear a cast for six weeks. This thing goes up his whole leg and up to his crotchal region! He sits in his window just looking at neighbors across the way and making up aspects of their lives. He got an unhappy married couple with a bedridden wife. Newlyweds. Another couple with a dog that sleeps on the balcony because the heat. A lady that dances 24/7.

The Review: The Deliverance

 

The Deliverance 3/10

There is a special spot in hell for movies like this. You may be wondering why I didn't give this a 0/10 based off of that statement. Well, there is a scene in this that made me laugh one of the top five laughs in my life. I lost my shit for minutes and could not stop laughing and now L will randomly think of the scene and cry tears laughing. At home and in the In & Out drive through she will start laughing. So two of the points go for that laugh and the other is because we finished it cause I for sure wanted to stop at a certain point because this movie feels way longer than it actually is.

The Review: The Watchers

 

The Watchers 7/10

L watched this movie a few days ago and saw how badly it was getting reviewed. I knew who it was directed by and felt no way about it and we watched it this weekend. Starts with this guy running through the woods and being chased by something you can't see but can hear. He passes a sign and somehow passes the same one again before climbing a tree to escape this growling. He ends up falling out of the tree and is yanked away by a creature of some kind. We meet a girl named Mina who is a miserable ass woman. She works in a pet shop in Ireland and is asked to drop a bird off which will take about a day to reach.

The Review: The Supremes at Earl's All-You-Can-Eat

 

The Supremes at Earl's All-You-Can-Eat 8/10

Spoilers!!! This was a really good movie. L brought this up after Hulu sent an email with their new and upcoming things. Now, I take a lot of titles literal so when I first even heard about this I thought it could have been based off of a true story of when the singing group The Supremes went to some random diner back in the day and performed for people that were there. This was not about that at all. This is about three women and their lives from teens to adults and all the drama and joy that they go through. And there is so much drama!

The Review: The Mummy (2017)

The Mummy 1/10

This movie deserved all the shit people said about it. L made me watch this after I left the channel on Pluto. What is it about? Team looking for buried treasures and find a huge tomb filled with mercury. Should have run out of the place at that point. Dude starts having visions of this hot woman who is in the tomb. They grab her sarcophagus and hop on a plane. Next thing you know his friend is possessed and he has to shoot him. Then the plane is attacked by crows which I didn't know was am Egyptian thing. Plane goes down and he survives after pushing the lady out with a parachute and he wakes up in a morgue unharmed. The rest of the movie is him taking too long to explain his visions, his now dead friend coming to him like a bootleg American Werewolf In London style, and getting captured by Dr Jekyll before racing desert storms after bringing his friend back to life because he is now a god of life and death. Yeah.

The Review: Imitation Of Life (1959)

Imitation of Life 8/10

I really enjoyed this movie and talked way too much during it. L gave me three choices of movies and I picked this one. It was in color which she had not seen before but it was done well. I had heard of this movie just on title but knew nothing else going in. This starts off in 1947 and this mother named Lora is screaming looking for her daughter, Susie at the beach. This is the most packed beach I have ever seen in my life and L said she would have turned right back around. This guy Steve helps tell her where a cop is and she finds her daughter sitting with this lady Annie and her daughter Sarah Jane. You will learn to hate Sarah Jane by the end of this movie. Maybe not as much as I did but still. Annie is a Black woman and her daughter is as well but don't look it. Lora mentions that she would like someone like Annie to help her out and Annie is like “Hire me!” Lora says she can't afford it but after seeing Sarah Jane cry about wanting a home she takes her in.

The Review: M3GAN

M3GAN 8/10

This movie was crazy as fuck. Continuing our Wayward Girl Movies we watched M3GAN which from this point on I will just be writing as Megan. Cady is sitting in the backseat of the car with her bickering parents when they end up running head on into a snowplow. She ends up having to stay with her aunt Gemma who works for a toy factory making robotic stuff for kids. Cady moves in and the house is not kid friendly and neither is Gemma honestly. Gemma shows her boss and later Cady this new toy she is working on, Megan. It is very smart, bonds with one person, and is autonomous as fuck. Yeah, surely not a single thing can go wrong with this scenario! Gemma showed an old robot named Bruce to Cady which inspired her to continue working on Megan after her boss told her to stop because she was making it on the sneak.

The Review: Abigail

Abigail 8/10

This week L and I watched a lot of stuff. We started off with this movie Abigail. It is about this group of people that kidnap the wrong damn girl. Abigail is just minding her business doing ballerina stuff and is picked up by her chauffeur. She heads home talking on the phone not realizing that her house is full of criminals of varying degrees of professionalism. They take her from her home and to another location where this dude Lambert tells them she is being held hostage by her wealthy father. He will have 24 hours to pay $50 million to get her back. The group get fake names and are all a hot mess in different ways.

The Review: Supacell

Supacell 8/10

I had heard about this show but the poster looked kinda cheap so I wasn't gonna watch it. But one day hanging with L. I decided to just check it out and am glad I did. L. got into it as well. This is about five people from South London from very different walks of life who end up having to work together. There is Michael, who is a delivery driver. Sabrina, a nurse. Andre, a recently free from prison dude. Rodney, a drug dealer. And Tazer, a gang leader. How are these people gonna get powers? Do I want any of these people to have super powers? Not really but they get 'em along with a bunch of other folks. The one thing all these people have in common is a family history of sickle cell disease.

Documentality: The Black Widower

The Black Widower 3/10

This could have been a one hour episode of a larger crime show. Not to make too light of the fact that this dude named Thomas Randolph allegedly killed four of his six previous wives. I didn't get how this man pulled one wife let alone six of them. From listening to people that knew him it sounds like he was only good to you if you had something he needed. This guy would put out life insurances on women and they would die. He killed the hitman after the hitman killed one wife. He allegedly killed one after her surgery. The others I forget because this series dragged out so much that L. fell asleep during the second episode and I updated her on what happened in the final. I know I said one hour but with commercials this could have been told in 42 minutes. This was on Max.

Click here for previous Documentality.

The Review: A Discovery Of Witches

A Discovery Of Witches 5/10

This is not going to be long. L. and I watched three seasons of this show spread out over I believe four different platforms which is ridiculous. It got to the point where we stopped for months and kept saying we were gonna finally finish it and by the time we did we had forgotten a lot of little things that had occurred. Each season has very few episodes and the last season was incredibly rushed with very disappointing final fights and a strange ass finale. So this lady Diana Bishop is a historian from a family of witches. One day her powers wake up after touching this magical book. Next thing you know she is being hunted by vampires who want this book as well as obviously evil witches. She meets one vampire named Matthew who comes from a distinguished old vampire family. They end up falling in love even though there is supposed to be no mingling of species.

Sitting In The Aisle: Deadpool And Wolverine

Deadpool And Wolverine 10/10

This will be full of spoilers! I fucking loved this movie! I managed to dodge spoilers for this and was so happy I did and if you don't care about them then keep right on reading. I loved the previous Deadpool (click here and here for those) movies and was into the comic crazy style back in the day. Funny enough, I was not a huge fan of the X-Men movies in almost all of the forms they came in. I was never super attached to Wolverine in the movies and seem to be the only person that didn't like Logan. When he died I was like “Can we get someone else to play him now?” But for some reason I was invested in him in this movie. Maybe because it was an alternate reality version of him and didn't have all that baggage from the other films. I will say I wish that Domino and Cable showed up. But still. Its crazy I have given all three of these movies a 10/10.

The Review: The Boys Season 4

The Boys Season 4 (9/10)

Full of all the spoilers. I enjoyed the hell out of this season. The only reason I did not give it a 10/10 is because there were a few deux ex machina type situations that happened where I went “Okay, that was weird.” Still, shocked that four seasons in I was still looking forward to watching this each week so much.