Tuesday, January 21, 2020

The Review: Coffy



Coffy 8/10

That movie Coffy was fucking wild! I had heard of it, seen images from it, and never watched it until just now. This is about a nurse known as Coffy. Her actual last name is Coffin which if I were a patient would make eleven kinds of nervous. Her little sister is addicted to drugs and she doesn't plan to sit back and let the law handle it. She pretends to be a prostitute and gets this drug dealer and boss to take her back to his place. She blows the boss' head off with a shotgun and jams some drugs into the dealer. Then she heads to work but is too torn up to do her job well. Yeah. I heard killing folks has that effect. She bumps into a cop named Carter she knows that obviously wants to bone down. By the way, every single guy she meets wants to have the sex with her.


Carter and Coffy are hanging out and these two dudes come in and beat the shit out of him and have to grab her breasts after knocking her out. Like, one of them seriously removes his gloves to get a quick squeeze in. Coffy is now like “Fuck this I am killing everybody!” Coffy has a boyfriend who is a councilman and down to help all his black and brown brothers and sisters. Right. Sure he is. She plans to work her way to the top and see who is supplying the drugs. She gets in touch with this pimp named King George. I had to stop the movie because I was laughing so hard when he showed up. His entire dick and balls was showing in his tight ass pants. His nuts looked like parentheses and I laughed way too hard. She works her way into his group of hoes. She is invited to a party and fights off a room full of women. She hides blades in her hair so when one of them grabs the shit her hands get sliced. I was like “Damn, that is some next level hardcore shit.” The main fucker named Arturo Vittroni likes what he says and wants some time with her. She starts flirting with him and he calls her all the worse shit you can call a Black person and spits on her. She whips a gun out and next thing you know this dude Omar grabs her and punches her. They figure her boyfriend is attached to this. He ain't. He don't care if she is killed.


Coffy says King George sent her and they drag him behind their car until he dies. After holding Coffy captive they plan to take her under a freeway and kill her. Its Omar and two cops. She flirts with Omar who thinks it is a waste to kill someone like her without having the sexy time. She agrees. They shoot her up with drugs and Omar takes her onto a sexy pile of rocks and trash under the freeway to have sex. Just when he gets it in she stibbity stabs his neck. She runs off and it turns out there was sugar in the syringe because she switched the shit out as far back as when she was at that sex party. She runs on the freeway and chased by a cop who gets hit by a car. The other cop leaves Omar to die and chases down Coffy. She throws a rock at his car and since it is the 1970's the car flips and explodes. She hitches a ride with a guy that wants to fuck and steals his car and drives back to get a shotgun she left in the bushes and heads to Arturo's place.


She ends up ramming this one eyed evil dude through the house, shoots another, and shoots Arturo in his pool after finding out where her dirty boyfriend is. She arrives and he gets in her head for a second until this woman pops out the bedroom with her breast meat hanging out. Coffy blows his dick off and walks away into a beautiful sunrise. So she wins. She killed everyone she needed to and her strung out sister can get better. I guess. This was a fun, crazy ass movie. I need to watch some more shit from the 70's since I can't figure out what else to watch with my blu-ray being broken still.

Pam Grier as Coffy
Booker Bradshaw as Howard Brunswick
Robert DoQui as King George
Allan Arbus as Arturo Vitroni
Sid Haig as Omar

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