Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Worst Movies Of The Year 2019



The good thing about not seeing as many movies this year is that I didn't get to see as many bad ones. Now, I have watched some but they were from previous years so I won't be reviewing them here. This is my own Worst Movies Of The Year 2019. Or WMOTY. This year movies were either really damn good or just straight up hot garbage. These movies are hot garbage. There are even some in hindsight I would rate lower. I can like a bad movie. A movie can be cheesy as hell but I will still like it because it is funny or because they tried. These movies are ass with a budget. Click here for previous years WMOTY.


"The rest of the movie is a bunch of lame fights and people straining and actors putting in half the effort. You can feel it in some of the scenes. The special effects aren't anything to write your brother from prison about. This just felt like some slapped together nonsense."

This could have been a ten minute short available for free on Youtube and not a feature length dumpster fire that it turned out to be. Seriously, you can find fan films that are ten times better than this big budget nonsense fest. Between the silly special effects, bad acting, and terrible story it was actually the perfect way to end the run of the latest X-Men films. They shit the bed from the jump making only Magneto interesting and then turning him into a joke in every film. 
“I wonder what heavy thing Magneto is gonna lift this time?!” He has no problem lifting a bridge or a goddamn stadium but a helicopter is a struggle? And why were they so hellbent on making Mystique a hero?! This series did nothing to earn even the right to attempt a Phoenix story but they shoehorned that shit right on in anyway. I have written about rebooting this and not having a single character from these previous movies.


"So you telling me this lady knew her husband was fucking sick and was still willing to let him on a bus heading towards safety with her daughter and a bunch of innocent ass people?! Are you fucking joking?! Do people love family that much? Everyone I know knows that if they become a zombie they get handled with the swiftness and if I turn into one to take my Black ass out."

This is one of those movies you can sit and hate watch with friends. If you are ever in a zombie situation and list what you would never do these people manage to do all of it. I would not suggest watching this if you get sick from shaky cameras because when zombies are chasing folks it has the shakiest of cameras. I think it is to hide the bad effects used for the zombies. Speaking of which depending on what the scene needed they could change in a day or in literal moments. Like the dad at the start was obviously hurt but didn't change until the next day but the old lady changed minutes after taking the Nestea Plunge. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse there is the ending. It was like someone dumping dirt on you while you showered.


"While watching this I kept on thinking about how it was edited and squinting at the screen. Then as the movie progressed and I was watching how it flowed and such I had to stop and check who directed this because either this was someone's first movie or they were not used to this whole directing thing and needed to work a few kinks out. A mostly music video director. Got it."

If this was made in 1997 it would have been great because I was an idiot and anything shiny, half naked, and bloody made me smile. But it came out in 2019 and sucked all the ass. That being said it had a lot of attractive women in it. I think that's the best thing I can say about this movie. I would suggest watching this sitting down because you may roll your eyes so much you fall down. It tries so hard to be cool that it ends up being a comedy but not even a good one. It just sucks so hard.


"When this movie ended I dove out of my seat. Fuck any extra scenes during the credits. Don't you dare threaten me with a sequel to this bullshit."

Everything bad you have heard or read about this movie is true. This has a shitty story. This has shitty effects. This has shitty acting. There ain't nothing I can say about this movie that is good. You can't even watch this just to laugh at it. I don't care about behind the scenes shit when I see a movie. But when you let that shit affect your acting then something is up. They never even should have made this movie. It wasn't a remake. It was an accident that I witnessed.


"No matter what the do the future is gonna suck all the dicks. People keep saying “This is the best Terminator since Judgment Day!” That is not hard to do! This movie wipes its ass with the first two movies. I actually wish I hadn't seen this."

I still feel the same way. I really wish I had not seen this. I also wish I had not watched reviews of it because there are a lot of people out there that either throw mad hate at women because women or want the two women in this to be lovers. People write their own fan fiction into stories at such a creepy level. There really doesn't need to be another Terminator movie. Just stop. No more movies, shows, nothing. Just bring back Terminator 3D at Universal Studios, damn it. And Marvel Mania. Is that too much to ask?! But seriously. Stop making these movies. They just keep getting worse.


"There was never a moment where I wanted to laugh, clap, or cheer. This movie just existed and squeezed in some information that fits into previous movies that take place later."

In hindsight I should have given this movie a 1/10 instead of a 4 but I can't change shit after I've already posted them. This movie had a story weaker than green tea. It had lame effects. The main character was a personality black hole that never needs another film. I was so happy I didn't know any of the drama caused by the star before seeing this because chances are I would have skipped it and just read about it online to know the plot. I was really looking forward to see this and ended up leaving the theater before any of the extra scenes. The only good thing about seeing this is that it connected to a later film.

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