The Review: Star Wars The Rise Of Skywalker

The Rise Of Skywalker 2/10

I quickly realized I could not write this like a normal review and chose to just put my immediate thoughts down while watching. 

Kylo Ren flies his ship like a damn lunatic.

They got jars of Snokes. Like a whole gang of the damn things.

Holy crap Palpatine got a lot of big ass ships. Why not just send them all out and start wrecking shit right now? What's the hold up?

Light speed jumping? I don't know shit about shit but that shit seems ridiculous. Have any other Star Wars movies tried that nonsense? It looks like what was done for a gag in Guardians Of The Galaxy 2.

There is a spy with the bad guys. Bet its that redheaded dude from Ex Machina.

The Review: Solo

Solo 2/10

This movie was boring! It sounds weird to say that considering that this movie is mostly running, shooting, more running, more shooting, running while shooting, and a little bit of story tossed in there. I have seen all but one of the Star Wars movies and have watched them in actual order which no fan of Star Wars will ever suggest you do. Solo is about Han Solo and his origins. Turns out he has not grown or changed from this movie to later ones. It felt like I was watching a really expensive cosplay film. The one thing I did like was that robot L3. That's about it really. Oh, and Donald Glover was good. Maybe the entire film could've just been about him and the root. That would have been interesting. The double crosses got old and it felt like anyone that had a vague idea of Han Solo could have done this. Maybe these new Star Wars films should just make a new movie with no reference to the old ones.

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The Review: Star Wars The Last Jedi

Star Wars The Last Jedi 3/10

In my continuing accidental mission to watch Star Wars movies out of order (like watching episodes one through six in actual order and watching Rogue One but not The Force Awakens) I watched The Last Jedi this morning on Netflix. Since I have not seen TFA I was confused about a lot of stuff. When I watched Rogue One I kept waiting for the Black Stormtrooper to show up and it wasn't until halfway through that I realized I was watching the wrong thing. With this one I figured it out pretty fast that I was watching the second movie and wondered why the fuck it wasn't on Netflix. Either way, I know a lot of what happened in the first movie so I wasn't totally lost with this one. I know about the bad guys family and what happened in the other film.

Upcoming Fantastic 4, Batman v Superman, Star Wars, Ant Man Trailer Excitement Levels

I have recently been able to watch some of the trailers for some upcoming movies and decided to do an Excitement level post about them the way I did with those Marvel and DC Comics ones. This time its for Fantastic 4, Batman v Superman, Star Wars, and Ant Man. Its funny how trailers nowadays are teaser trailers or they show way too much of the movie. I haven't decided if it is ignorance or blind confidence when this is done but it is and I'm gonna talk about it.

Fantastic 4

The trailer for this got me more excited than I thought it would. The trailer seems to shut up a lot of complaints about the first as well as answered questions as well. We see that Sue Storm was adopted by Johnny Storm's dad answering the “Why is he Black but they are related?!” question. Thing looks better than he has ever looked on film. And Mr. Fantastic appears to use his powers in a cool, fast way and not like in previous films where it was more like “Look at how far he can stretch...slowly.” I'm looking forward to seeing this. 

Star Wars Is Still New To Me

My name is Dante and I grew up not watching Star Wars. That's it. Let the hate wash over you. I didn't hate it or anything. I just didn't watch it the same way I didn't watch many of the films many did like Sixteen Candles and Dirty Dancing. I grew up on a steady diet of rated R and B-movies. Star Wars was a thing that I knew existed and had some vague idea of what it was about. A guy was in space and had robot friends, a giant dog, and fought this evil guy that could movie things with his mind. I even had an R2D2 eraser that I permanently borrowed from someone. What a stupid idea. Fancy eraser. You never want to use it!

One day I finally got to watch the original Star Wars films but it was after watching the newer ones. That's right. I am the guy that watched the films in order which it turns out is something that every fan of Star Wars says you should never do.