Monday, April 15, 2019

The Review: Game Of Thrones Season 8 Episode 1



Game Of Thrones Season 8 “Winterfell”

This will be full of spoilers. I watched the first episode of the last season of Game Of Thrones and I am here for every minute of it. I had to watch a few videos to remember what the hell even happened last season but feeling sufficiently caught up I dove in. This season wastes no time. It starts with a big ass army marching through a town in the North with Daenerys and Jon riding on horseback. Arya sees on on his horse but chooses not to say anything. Then she sees The Hound which may end up super bad for her. The town folk do not look happy at all and when the two remaining dragons come swooping in they look worried. And they should. Because fucking dragons!


As the Stark family meet again for the first time in forever Bran ruins everything by being the creepy fuck he has grown to be and is like “We ain't got time for this cute shit! The White Walkers got through the Wall!” There is a meeting where Sansa, Jon, and Daenerys (who I am now calling Danny from now on because fuck typing that name!) are finding out who supports them and how much in supplies they have. Turns out not a lot. Sansa wants nothing to do with Danny and openly distrusts her. She is also pissed at Jon for kneeling to Danny and the people in the North swore loyalty to him, not this dragon owning woman.


Euron returns with soldiers an' shit for Cersei and he wants to bone down right now. She don't want his salty sea dick. He talks mad shit to her and it is shocking that she doesn't have her monster kill him. She leaves the room then turns around to look back at it and he follows her to the room. They have the sex and then he asks if he was better than the king and then if he was better than her brother. This dude is pushing it. He also left Yara on a ship saying he won't kill her. Later Theon boards the ship like arrow using ninjas with a group and rescue her. He lets her know that he wants to head back to Winterfell and I can not wait to see how everyone reacts to seeing him!


Sam is told by Danny that she killed his father. He is bummed out but they weren't all that close. Then she says that his brother was right there with him and he gets ultra mega upset and asks if he can leave the room. He finds Bran outside being a weirdo and Bran is like “You gotta tell Jon that he is the rightful king and who his family really is” and Sam is like “I'm having a really bad day!” but Bran don't care. Sam talks to Jon and tells him his true identity and Jon takes it bad. Not only did it turn out that the man he thought was his father and the most honest person ever lied to him his whole life, but that he is pretty much boning down with his aunty. Jon went from being in love, meeting his family, and riding a dragon to finding out that life is shit. Oh, and then Jaime arrives all chipper looking until he spots Bran. And Bran spots Jaime. And then I shit muhself.

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