Sunday, April 28, 2019

The Review: Game Of Thrones Season 8 Episode 3



Game Of Thrones Season 8 “The Long Night”

This is full of spoilers! Holy shit! I shouted that a whole lot while watching this. I thought I had enough of battles after watching Avengers: Endgame but apparently not. I sat here clenched for damn near an hour and a half watching this. Even before shit got cracking I was getting nervous because it was so quiet. The White Walkers don't scream and act crazy until they are told to so until then they are just standing there in the dark being creepy as shit. Just as I said out loud randomly “Where the fuck is the Blood Witch?” is she shows up. Melisandre walks up to the Dothraki and lights all their swords on fire. They get hype and charge off to go after the Walkers with Jorah leading the way. On and Dany are watching from the distance while Theon is with Bran waiting for the Night King to show up. Shit goes south fast as the flames from the swords start to slowly go out. Tense as shit scene!


Shit gets quiet and random soldiers and horses start running back. Jorah is half burned! What the fuck just even happened?! Everyone starts fighting as the Walkers rush the line. People are getting slaughtered. Dany and Jon start lighting shit up with their dragons. The problem is the Walkers do not stop coming. They just keep marching the fuck forward and dog-piling everyone. Eventually everyone has to just retreat behind the gate because the shit is wild. The ice dragon shows up and starts wrecking shop so Dany and Jon have that to deal with. Meanwhile the trenches can't be lit because Dany can not see them because of all the snow in the sky. Melisandre struggles to start a fire with her magic and it works at the last damned second. Jon's dragon ends up getting speared and goes down.


Just when shit seems like it cant get any worse it does because the Walkers have a giant. Yeah. That giant from last season or so comes back and starts smacking bitches left and right. In what will go down as one of the most badass kills/deaths Lady of Bear Island Lyanna Mormont (the little girl that runs shit) ends up snatched up by the giant and as he is crushing her to death she stabs his eye turning him to dust. Down in the crypts where Walkers are breaking in Tyrion and Sansa know that shit is coming to an end. They end up professing their love to one another. She tells him her was her best suitor/husband which he kinda downplays since her previous two included Joffrey and a dude that cut of Theon's dick and fed people to dogs.


Jon is at the castle trying to deal with the ice dragon. The Walkers are killing everyone inside. The Hound starts to chicken out and give up until it is pointed out that Arya is kicking all of the asses. Reoccurring characters are dying left and right. Sam keeps getting other people killed because he is a bitch. Jon ends up coming face to face with the Night King. I thought they were gonna get down until the Night King starts waking up the dead people on the battlefield and leave them for Jon to deal with. Just as he is about to be killed Dany shows up and starts burning them until her dragon gets swarmed by Walkers and leaves. Jorah saves her at the last second and they fight Walkers until he gets stabbed. A lot. Hard.


And the MVP of the battle goes to Arya. She ends up in a fucking zombie film being chased all around the castle fending Walkers off. She is doing amazing but there are only so many places to run. She ends up in a room with The Hound and Melisandre who asks her “What do we say to the god of death?” and Arya responds “Not today.” She heads out. Theon is fighting off Walkers like a champion of champions and is eventually surrounded by bodies. Some new ones show up and Bran snaps out of his shit and Theon apologizes for everything. Bran says there is no need and what he did brought him here and that he is a good man. Theon rushes at the Night King and is stabbed and killed. Fuck. The Night King and Bran face off and just as the Night King is about to kill him Arya jumps in like Batman! The Night King catches her by the throat and is about to stab her she finessed his ass and stabs him in the guts. He cracks and so do the thousands of other Walkers including the ice dragon. Holy shit Arya saves the day!


Melisandre ends up wandering off and takes her magic necklace off and turns to old lady dust. Don't forget, she was a witch and they showed her true form once before and it was not the business. The Walkers are done. The Night King gone. Now what the fuck is going to happen? I thought that this battle would either be the last episode or last longer than one. Not so say that this one wasn't filled with action. It was damn near all action and suspense. I felt like I was being chased for over an hour and exhausted when this episode ended. Fuck. I am hype as shit about next weeks episode!

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