Documentality: Hey Beautiful

Hey Beautiful 7/10

This week L and I watched this series on Hulu. Its in three parts and a pretty easy watch being less than an hour each. This follows three women in particular at the start that all fall for the same guy using different names. There is Annette (the thirsty one). Roxy (the old, married one). And Gaby (the German who don't learn lessons). They are totally being scammed and giving this guy between one thousand bucks to over a million. No, they have never met him. When we watch scam things online me and my lady always wonder where these people get all this money to throw away from. Like Annette who is a waitress gives like 40,000 dollars to this guy. Roxy sneaks and has this fake fling with the guy while being married for over 50 years and is bored with her husband. And Gaby who we still aren't sure if she is still married goes as far as selling her childhood home to give money to this dude.

The Review: Hellboy The Crooked Man

Hellboy The Crooked Man 0/10

This movie was ass. I have been sitting here a few minutes debating on whether to even write about this. I forgot that this was a thing that even existed and saw it on Hulu which I forget I have most of the time unless there is a series I wanna check out. This was rated R and supposed to be scary and horror filled. There are episodes of The Flash scarier than this bullshit. Hellboy is wack in this. Had zero personality and seemed ineffective at everything. He just durable. Gets his ass kicked and speared but doesn't die. Bobbie Jo who is with him doesn't follow instructions and they shoehorn a backstory for her that made me laugh at the idea of more of these being made. Please don't. Basic premise is that Hellboy and Bobbie Jo are on a train that flips and a spider they caught gets loose. They find a boy that was bewitched and madcap adventures ensue! The crooked man in this is not scary or really that powerful and dies in the shittiest way. Fuck, this was weak. Hated that last one that came out a few years back and this was somehow even worse. The effects in this were bad. The sound editing sounded like they were in a studio. They rarely sounded like they were on set with background sounds. Ugh. This movie was not made for me.

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The Review: House Of David

House Of David 9/10

Let me start this off by saying I don't know nothing about the bible. I know basic stuff. My lady would say that is wrong because I have timelines and everything all off. Like, with this series, House of David, I had no idea what David did other than kill Goliath with a slingshot. That is literally it. I had no idea he had a life outside of that. So, now with that information this entire series was surprising to me and had my dumb ass sitting here saying “No spoilers!” to someone who went to church all the time regarding a tale that is thousands of years old.

The Review: Daredevil Born Again

Daredevil Born Again 3/10

I have covered all the Daredevil seasons. Enjoyed season one a lot. Season two was good except anytime Elektra was on screen or ninjas. Third season made up for it. This new Disney+ version was a jambalaya of nonsense. They tricked me into having hope by making the first episode so good. They had Bullseye kill Foggy as Karen watched him bleed to death as Daredevil fought Bullseye on a rooftop. As he heard Foggy's heart stop he was like “Fuck it” and tossed Bullseye off the roof. He doesn't die though which is remarkable. This wasn't some two story building. He got tossed and landed chest first. He should at least be crippled. Nah. He alive. Goes to jail. Daredevil retires. By the way everything that I just wrote happened in the first episode.

The Review: The Wheel of Time Season 3

The Wheel Of Time Season 3 (4/10)

I am back again with another review of this show that this season managed to piss off book readers as well as fans of the show. There is also that group of people that fan-fiction the hell out of characters and want to see people fuck on screen but can't the way they imagine so they draw them. I looked at my previous reviews of this series and gave season one and season two 9/10. That for fucking sure not happening this season especially considering my favorite episode focused on one main character. Gonna do this like last season and write something about each character that I feel like writing about. This season introduced way too many new ass people and subplots and managed not to really get all that much done. And again, have not touched one of the books and don't plan to. I watch Youtube videos to find answers to questions. Get over it.

The Review: Captain America Brave New World

Captain America Brave New World 1/10

I'm not even gonna waste y'all time or mine dedicating too much of it to this movie. Thoroughly enjoyed the The Falcon & The Winter Soldier series. It was a nice tight story that had history, a beginning, middle, and ended well. This movie did not need to be made and if it did should've been in the hands of better writers, director, special effects, and acting. This movie was ass. Not a single goosebump while watching it. Nothing was amazing. The story which is a Captain America movie was somehow not about him in any way that would be useful going forward. I would not trust this dude to lead a team of heroes. This was a sequel to the old ass Hulk movie if anything and there was no need to show red Hulk in all the trailers and merchandise and try to act like it was a shock who it was when it happened. Bad villains all around in this. Everyone was a henchman that didn't deserve screen time. Bad chemistry. Jokes not funny. Just...fuck.

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Sitting In The Aisle: Sinners

Sinners 10/10

This is one of those movies where I want everyone to see it so I don't wanna spoil it too much but even after being out just a few days there is a lot of reviews where the title of the posts give it away. So this will have spoilers but I wont and wouldn't even be able to describe everything that happens in this incredible movie. Sinners is one of those movies that gives me feelings that I get from watching a movie every few years. One of those movies that makes me think “I'm glad a theater is a thing.” My lady already wants to watch it again and so do I in one of them big ass IMAX theaters.

Before seeing this I had seen a trailer and thought it was a movie about a bunch of people fighting vampires in a bar. I also thought this would easily have been a Jonathan Majors movie. I was wrong about each of these because Michael B. Jordan was prefect in this and it does not take place in a church...but it does start and end in one. Young Sammie aka Preacher's Boy walks into his father's church covered in scars and blood with his father telling him to put the guitar (which is smashed to shit) down. Then we go back a day or so to meet twins Elijah and Elias aka Smoke and Stack. I shit you not, I forgot their actual names. They plan on using money they got from Chicago to open up a juke joint. They purchase the property from a racist ass dude named Hogwood.

The Review: Wicked

Wicked 5/10

A few weeks ago my lady and I watched this movie. We watched the first hour and a half and then finished the last hour a week later. I have read the book for this story (as well as the terrible sequel) and the play years ago at The Pantages. I enjoyed the book so much and the live show. This? Not so much. Know why? There is so much singing! I know its a musical. I'm not stupid. The problem is that I didn't like any of the songs or the way the ones I did know were performed. With that being said and now known it explains why I gave this such a low score. Wasn't a huge fan of the acting either. The was a story where I was being distracted by singing. Let me talk about the actual movie.

The Review: Y2K

Y2K 1/10

Last weekend I was just scrolling through Max and say this movie and decided to check it out. Its one of those movies with random people I knew from other movies and shows and one of the actresses is in that Snow White movie everyone is shitting on. I can't tell if this movie wanted to be scary, funny, heartfelt, or action packed. It failed at every one of those aspects. This movie was not funny at all, never scary, the gore was cheap looking, and the story was weak.

The Review: Murder My Sweet

Murder, My Sweet 8/10

The second movie that my lady and I watched at Noir City was Murder, My Sweet. This was a good ass movie and inspired so many films and things I have seen in cartoons and comedies. They did some camera tricks that are very common and can be done on your phone or computer but back when this was made was brand new technology that had to be created. It starts at the end with you wondering how he got here. He being private detective Philip Marlowe. Marlowe is being interviewed with bandages over his eyes by the police about what we're about to watch.

The Review: The Woman In The Window

The Woman In The Window 9/10

Spoilers for a 81 year old movie! Last week L. took me to see a double feature at The Egyptian Theater in Hollywood presented by Noir City. We saw two classic films. The first was The Woman In The Window. This was a really good movie. This college professor named Richard Wanley is at a station with his wife and kids sending them off on vacation. He heads out to meet his friends at this fancy ass man spot where they smoke and eat. Richard talks about the painting in front of the place and is smitten with the woman in it. He talks about it with his friends and when he leaves stops to stare at it some more. Suddenly the lady in the painting is standing there. Her name is Alice and she says that she likes to watch people look at the painting and then notice she is there. She invites him back to his place saying that she has some more sketches that were done of her.

The Review: Paradise

Paradise 10/10

No spoilers!!! I loved this show. For days I have been trying to figure out how to watch this. I had one of my friends suggest it to me and dragged my ass. Then I watched the first two episodes and my ass was hooked! I got my lady into it and we watched the last few episodes together and would spend a bunch of time talking about it and speculating afterward. I even got to talk about it with my cousin JP who also watched. I am putting off getting started because I do not want to spoil this but I can't really write a review without doing so but I am gonna try.

Curtain Call: Topdog/Underdog

Topdog/Underdog 9/10

Last weekend Cam took me to see a play at the Pasadena Playhouse called Topdog/Underdog. Terrible title for a great show. I had been to this place once before and liked it. Lots of leg room so you don't have to get up every time someone passes. This is about two brothers, Lincoln and Booth (I know, right?) who have very honked up lives. Lincoln works dressing as Abraham Lincoln at a theme park of sorts where guests get to assassinate him all day. Booth steals everything he can and wants Lincoln to teach him how to be as good as Lincoln once was at three card monte. Lincoln says he does not touch the cards anymore. Booth spends most of his time talking shit to Lincoln about how he is divorced, lives with Booth on the couch, and isn't as good at three card monte as he used to be. I mean, this dude just needles him every chance he gets!

Twilight Zone List: Worst Twilight Zone Assholes

I don't know if you've noticed but the Twilight Zone has a lot of asshole characters. Even when making this list I came up with far more than I settled on choosing to pick the ones that stood out the most to me. Not ones that had one instance of being an asshole but ones where it was like “This person needs to be removed from the land of the living” level ones. So here is my list of Twilight Zone Worst Assholes. Who would you have added?

Curtain Call: Harry Potter And The Cursed Child

Harry Potter And The Cursed Child 9/10

This is gonna have some spoilers! L and I went to see this a couple of weeks ago at The Pantages. Thankfully this was not a musical because that theater is known for having a terrible sound system. We went and had dinner beforehand which was awesome on Hollywood and then hunted for parking because screw paying like 30-something bucks to be trapped underground and waiting an hour to leave. My best friend gave us the tickets for this and I am so happy because this show was incredibly fun and visually the best use of effects I have ever seen live.