The Review: Talamasca

Talamasca 1/10

This is gonna have spoilers and not be that long. I will just go off the top of my head. This guy named Guy can hear folks thoughts but he hears them in the way anyone with this power in movies and TV shows does. Just cringing and never able to control it. Its annoying. He is about to start working at some law place when he is contacted by this woman named Helen and she says she works for a secret organization and can help him find his mother who left when he was a child. He goes to England and does menial uninteresting spy shit while working the door at a strip club. He meets two vampires which is by far the most intriguing parts of this show which is sad because their screen time equaled minutes in this six episode series.

The Review: Abandoned/Thanksgiving Roast/Finding Joy

Abandoned The Woman In The Decaying House DNF/10

This is the first of three things L and I watched This is a three part documentary about a podcast that uncovered this lady that went from Brazil, moved to DC with a maid, tortured her, and then ran away back to Brazil living in this formerly lavish home. We got to hear from her on the podcast as well as interviews with the servant. There was so much failure on too many people's parts and it got to the point where I started victim blaming. We didn't even bother to finish the last episode. I know I put DNF but this is a 2/10 for me personally.

The Review: IT Welcome To Derry Episodes 3 & 4

IT Welcome To Derry Episodes 3 & 4

Oh god this show gets more insane with each passing episode. Shaw, the military dude running everything, is shown as a child in Derry with his military father. He goes into the most not fun looking fun house ever created and eventually ends up seeing this bony old man with missing eyes. Shaw gets a slingshot from his dad and their car breaks down. He meets a young Native girl named Rose. They hang out and one day Shaw heads into the woods where he gets chased by the bone man but its really Pennywise chasing and about to kill him until Rose uses his slingshot to hurt him and they escape. After this she tells the story of the woods. She will regret this. As adults Shaw visits Rose who is working at a pawn shop and lies to her what all the digging the military is doing is really about.

The Review: A Newport Christmas

 

A Newport Christmas 8/10

This movie actually turned out to be good. This time of year we watch holiday films and they are either fine or horrible. This one I enjoyed because there were actual stakes. It is 1905 and this spinster named Ella Stewart Grafton from Newport is a nice ass lady living her single life and being nice to everyone. Her dad wants to marry her off to some guy she never met while she wants to start a charity for the less fortunate in town. Her dad is like “You too much like ya dead mama. Bump that. Your new husband coming soon.” Ella leaves to on her boat to do what rich independent women did and that is talk to the stars. She wishes for a true love and different life. Next thing you know a man is on the boat wondering how she got there and she gets scared and upset that he is on her boat. This guy is Nick. He cool. He look like the lovechild of Alec Baldwin and Brenden Frasier. Oh, and it is 2025.

The Review: Only Murders In The Building Season 5

Only Murders In The Building Season 5 (10/10)

Well, I was wrong. I was talking trash after finishing last season which I loved and saying that this was the final season and that I hoped that it wouldn't continue because there was no way that it could stay interesting with such a premise as murders happening just in the building. This season fucking ruled and by the end of it me and L. were excited that there would be one more. I have no idea how the writers of this show have managed to make now fifty episodes of a series continue to be interesting, funny, and surprisingly touching at various points.

Curtain Call: Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity 2/10

Last night my lady traversed rainy LA weather for this show. She had fought to get tickets with their website not working and even having to contact them over the phone like this was 2002 to get us some tickets. She finally did and boy that was a waste of time. Best part of the evening was getting some really good food at The Little Jewel of New Orleans. Seriously. Great food. Have to go back. Anyhoot, so we got in line for parking and had to go eight levels down before we found a spot. We get inside and the place is pretty crowded. We had seats further back but we were able to see the entire stage not that it mattered. I'll explain why later.

Curtain Call: Joe Turner's Come and Gone

Joe Turner's Come and Gone 10/10

On Sunday me and my lady were invited by my best friend to go see this play over at A Noise Within. My lady had never been to this location and I had been a few other times I think just for these August Wilson shows. This was by far my favorite one in terms of acting, music, sound design, humor, intensity, and feelings during and after the show. I have already discussed how I felt after seeing The Piano Lesson and some of the people that were in that were in this. I kept saying I am gonna be a snob because at this point I have seen shows with the same people as well as director. The director of this did that amazing Twilight: Los Angeles show.

This is set in the early 1900's at a boardinghouse run by Seth and his wife Bertha. People come and go while a few stay for years at a time paying $2 a week for lunch and dinner as well as a room. Damn, that sounds like such a good deal. The weird spiritual aspect is brought by Bynum (because now I know a variation of this guy is in every show) using pigeon blood for rituals. There is also Jeremy who was recently arrested for being drunk in public (saw him in Topdog/Underdog). This guy Rutherford shows up and he is known as a people finder. He also has Seth make him some dustpans. Bynum explains to him about a “shiny man” who told him the secret of life and how he has been searching for him once again. Rutherford is like “Sure...let you know if I see him.” Next Harold Loomis and his daughter Zonia show up.

Documentality: The Alabama Solution

Alabama Solution 9/10

This was a rough watch. The makers of this Andrew Jarecki and Charlotte Kaufman went to this prison called Easterling in Alabama back in 2019 and there was a festival and everything seemed all nice and cool. There is church shit, barbecue, and love music. Then this one prisoner points out that its all bullshit. Turns out he was incredibly right. Filmed over years prisoners use their cell phones to record and document everything that is going on. I am not gonna pretend to be shocked that they have access to cell phones because my lady has shown me full on Tik Tok videos from inmates.

The Review: IT Welcome To Derry Episodes 1 & 2

IT Welcome To Derry Episodes 1 & 2

This show crazy as hell. So far within the first two episodes its better than the movies were. I would say they have more time to flesh out the kid characters but...yeah. Not so fast. It starts in 1962 with this boy named Matty that snuck into a theater. He gets chased out and this girl who works there with her father doesn't rat him out. We find out more about her later. Matty escapes and starts hitching a ride. A family picks him up and seem nice. Like, way too nice even for the 60's. Its a mother, father, son, and daughter. The boy is spelling shit. The girl is being weird trying to make Matty smell her liver fingers. The mom starts calling the daughter a hussy. Its weird. Matty asks to get out the car and the mother goes into labor and gives birth to a damn bat baby that starts flying and screeching around the car! This is the last we see if Matty...alive.

The Review: Demascus

Demascus 10/10

This was an incredible series. I found out online a couple of months ago that this show existed that was gonna be on AMC and then dumped and Tubi picked it up. Me and my lady decided to check this series out and I was thoroughly invested in this. I was in such a hurry to finish that I accidentally skipped an episode. This takes place in 2023 and this guy Demascus who goes to a therapist named Dr. Bonnetville. He is trying to figure out who and what he is. She tells him to give this new virtual therapy device called D.I.R.T (Digital Immersive Reality Therapy). Using this he gets to go into his subconscious and experience other versions of reality featuring him and people he knows (or possibly don't really exist.

The Review: The Substance

The Substance 2/10

I watched this movie this past weekend. Its not for me. The older I get I realize that there are certain things that are not for my weird ass demographic. I'm an old Black dude that likes random, nerdy, dark, funny, strange shit. This movie felt like it was made for women or those that identify as women or to make men that don't understand how women are viewed in the world as they get older. It hit me over the head with a hammer with this. I get it. I know it. I don't understand it in the way a woman would because I'm not one. This is about an actress that just turned 50 named Elisabeth Sparkle. She gets into a car accident and is given information about this new drug that has a lot of rules. She takes it and a younger girl climbs out of her body, becomes a star, and breaks the rules because they each get a week in society and a week out. By the end of the movie she becomes a fucking monster that gets blown up. I was so glad when this movie ended. I liked the way it looked. Each scene went on minutes longer than it needed to. I couldn't believe how long they dragged on and was pissed when I saw how long this was. No need for me to watch this again or read more about it.

Demi Moore as Elisabeth Sparkle

Margaret Qualley as Sue

Dennis Quaid as Harvey

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Peacemaker Season 2

Peacemaker Season 2 (6/10)

Full disclosure: if this had ended with episode seven I would have given this a 9/10. The finale was so all over the place that it ruined what was a pretty good season if I don't stop and think about certain things. The story felt like it was rushed towards the end when they could have stayed in the multiverse portion for longer and examined that world more. Vigilante was the standout performer this season. Other just wore on me and what was once funny became annoying. Adebayo talked different than before. Not sure how to explain it but she sounded...off. This season had a couple of touching moments and genuine great acting on the part of Peacemaker but then it was like “Fuck that this is now a pilot for some other shit that's planned!” And the many music montages wore my ass out quick. I'm not clamoring for another season of this or wondering where it could go. There is a certain type of storytelling I think I am outgrowing and this fits into it (along with Gen-V which I won't bother even writing about). Not superhero stuff. Just certain types of superhero stuff.

John Cena as Chris Smith/Peacemaker

Danielle Brooks as Leota Adebayo

Freddie Stroma as Adrian Chase/Vigilante

Jennifer Holland as Emilia Harcourt

Steve Agee as John Economos

Frank Grillo as Rick Flag Sr.

Robert Patrick as Auggie Smith/Blue Dragon

David Denman as Keith Smith/Captain Triumph

Sol Rodríguez as Sasha Bordeaux

Tim Meadows as Langston Fleury

Nhut Le as Rip Jagger/Judomaster

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: The Other

The Other 1/10

“Robin and Daniel foster Kathelia who is mute with a dark past that haunts the family.” This is all the Wiki page for this raggedy ass movie says. I could barely even find any photos to use for this post. L. was looking through streaming services and we decided to check this nonsense out. This is about this little girl named Kathelia who gets adopted by this normal couple. Nothing weird or shady about them. She had witnessed something tragic happen to her family and doesn't talk. She gets to their house and just stares at them. I know she cant talk but you not gonna just stare at me all the damn time. By the way, since there is no description given I am going based on memory and shit will be out of order and forgotten. Its been like three days and my brain is already trying to flush this movie out my mind.

The Review: Ready or Not

Ready Or Not 8/10

This movie was crazy. L. and I are continuing watching spooky stuff this month and checked this out. Hulu should be ashamed of how bad their sound is sometimes. So this movie starts off with this guy running through a mansion screaming for help. He stumbles into these two little boys and one of them (Daniel) is like “He right here!” Guy ends up with arrows in him and dragged away. In present day Alex is set to marry Grace. Grace grew up in multiple homes as an foster child and really wants a family. Alex tries to talk her out of it saying his family is crazy and whatnot. He. Should. Have. Been. More. Specific.

The Review: Bring Her Back

Bring Her Back 8/10

This movie was so honked up. L suggested this after seeing the recommendation so we checked it out. Neither of us knew anything about it. No trailer or anything. From the image on HBO I thought it was an alien abduction film or something. Oh, that would have been so much easier to watch. They take you into space, shine lights on you, maybe play with ya bootyhole a little bit, and then drop you off back on Earth with a story no one will believe. This starts off with some grainy footage in Russian with a lot of children and adults being touched and god knows what in what appears to be a ceremony. Like, none of those looks okay so I knew we were in for some weird cult type shit.