The Review: Murder My Sweet

Murder, My Sweet 8/10

The second movie that my lady and I watched at Noir City was Murder, My Sweet. This was a good ass movie and inspired so many films and things I have seen in cartoons and comedies. They did some camera tricks that are very common and can be done on your phone or computer but back when this was made was brand new technology that had to be created. It starts at the end with you wondering how he got here. He being private detective Philip Marlowe. Marlowe is being interviewed with bandages over his eyes by the police about what we're about to watch.

The Review: The Woman In The Window

The Woman In The Window 9/10

Spoilers for a 81 year old movie! Last week L. took me to see a double feature at The Egyptian Theater in Hollywood presented by Noir City. We saw two classic films. The first was The Woman In The Window. This was a really good movie. This college professor named Richard Wanley is at a station with his wife and kids sending them off on vacation. He heads out to meet his friends at this fancy ass man spot where they smoke and eat. Richard talks about the painting in front of the place and is smitten with the woman in it. He talks about it with his friends and when he leaves stops to stare at it some more. Suddenly the lady in the painting is standing there. Her name is Alice and she says that she likes to watch people look at the painting and then notice she is there. She invites him back to his place saying that she has some more sketches that were done of her.

The Review: Paradise

Paradise 10/10

No spoilers!!! I loved this show. For days I have been trying to figure out how to watch this. I had one of my friends suggest it to me and dragged my ass. Then I watched the first two episodes and my ass was hooked! I got my lady into it and we watched the last few episodes together and would spend a bunch of time talking about it and speculating afterward. I even got to talk about it with my cousin JP who also watched. I am putting off getting started because I do not want to spoil this but I can't really write a review without doing so but I am gonna try.

Curtain Call: Topdog/Underdog

Topdog/Underdog 9/10

Last weekend Cam took me to see a play at the Pasadena Playhouse called Topdog/Underdog. Terrible title for a great show. I had been to this place once before and liked it. Lots of leg room so you don't have to get up every time someone passes. This is about two brothers, Lincoln and Booth (I know, right?) who have very honked up lives. Lincoln works dressing as Abraham Lincoln at a theme park of sorts where guests get to assassinate him all day. Booth steals everything he can and wants Lincoln to teach him how to be as good as Lincoln once was at three card monte. Lincoln says he does not touch the cards anymore. Booth spends most of his time talking shit to Lincoln about how he is divorced, lives with Booth on the couch, and isn't as good at three card monte as he used to be. I mean, this dude just needles him every chance he gets!

Twilight Zone List: Worst Twilight Zone Assholes

I don't know if you've noticed but the Twilight Zone has a lot of asshole characters. Even when making this list I came up with far more than I settled on choosing to pick the ones that stood out the most to me. Not ones that had one instance of being an asshole but ones where it was like “This person needs to be removed from the land of the living” level ones. So here is my list of Twilight Zone Worst Assholes. Who would you have added?

Curtain Call: Harry Potter And The Cursed Child

Harry Potter And The Cursed Child 9/10

This is gonna have some spoilers! L and I went to see this a couple of weeks ago at The Pantages. Thankfully this was not a musical because that theater is known for having a terrible sound system. We went and had dinner beforehand which was awesome on Hollywood and then hunted for parking because screw paying like 30-something bucks to be trapped underground and waiting an hour to leave. My best friend gave us the tickets for this and I am so happy because this show was incredibly fun and visually the best use of effects I have ever seen live.

Twilight Zone List: Worst Twilight Zone Groups

There are a lot of times when I am watching Twilight Zone where I look at a group of people and think “You can't all be this dumb/terrible, can you?” Turns out they can. There are a lot of TZ episodes where people get together and they start packing and someone ends up dying or things aren't what they seem. In this list of Worst Twilight Zone Groups I'm gonna list some of them.

The Review: Blink Twice

Blink Twice 6/10

Full of spoilers. Last night L. suggested we watch this movie called Blink Twice. All I knew about it was who was the star of it and the director. Nothing else. This movie was odd and I had some issues with it. Its one of those movies where watching it twice will make you feel like “Oh, right!” seeing the way certain things played out. This is about this lady named Frida. She does nail art and works as a cocktail waitress. She is in the mirror at home with her friend/roommate Jess. At work she is warned by her manager about being too chatty like the previous year and showing up late. Frida asks Jess why she keeps going back to this terrible guy she is dating and thinks she should value herself more.

Documentality: Luther Vandross Never Too Much

Luther Vandross Never Too Much 10/10

This was amazing. I have been a fan of Luther since I was a little kid. Me and my lady ended up watching this and I found out so much new information about him such as the fact that he got started with performing so young and wrote songs for a lot of big people. I knew about him singing background with David Bowie but thought it was in just one song. I was super wrong. This is told through interviews with people that worked with him from the start of his career and uses a good balance of that along with interviews with him. I realized I had never actually watched an interview with him and he seemed like such a cool ass dude. And he could just sing! What I mean by that is he didn't warm up, do coke, or giggle and play it off. He could just sing at the drop of a hat with or without music.

The Review: Kiss The Girls

Kiss The Girls 6/10

This was my least favorite of the Ashley movies L. and I watched. I have heard of this movie for years but never watched it. This is an Alex Cross movie and I know the name and knew there had been movies made about him and a new show that I still haven't checked out. Cross' niece ends up missing and he heads to North Carolina to find her. He gets there and waits for hours and all the police there are like “We do things slow here.” Fuck you, dude! He sees that there is a whole ass wall full of missing women from the area. A couple of them have been found all scalped and tied up. Meanwhile a doctor named Kate McTiernan (who kickboxes on the side) is at home sleeping and hearing all of the spooky sounds. She finally races downstairs and runs into her fish tank that was placed at the end of the stairs. By the way, before this dude calling himself Casanova showed up her house was already spooky looking.

The Review: Twisted

Twisted 7/10

This movie was so damn weird. This cop Jessica Shepard caught this serial killer named Cutler and gets promoted. Her foster father John took her in as a child after her cop father snapped and killed her mother, her mothers lovers, and himself. She got a drinking problem and will sleep with anyone she finds in a bar. Like even the skeeviest looking dudes! Some guy Jessica slept with recently ends up found dead in the water and lets the other cops know she slept with him. They like “Weird” and lets her stay on the case. Days later another dude she slept with ends up found dead and they like “The fuck going on, woman?!” Still, she is allowed to stay on the case. They pretty much using her as bait.

The Review: Double Jeopardy

Double Jeopardy 9/10

My lady had me watch three damn Ashley Judd movies in a weekend! This was not on purpose but is nuts when I look back at it. This was my first time watching any of these. The first movie we watched was Double Jeopardy. This rich ass couple named Libby and Nick Parsons are at home with their son just enjoying being rich and raising money for schools because in movies that is what rich people do. Nick decides to get Libby a boat for the weekend and leave their son Matty with Libby's friend Angela. Libby and Nick go on the boat and have the sex. The next morning Libby wakes covered in blood, her husband missing, and cops pulling up while she is holding a knife. I was like “Why you grab that knife!” They don't find Nick's body but Libby is convicted of his murder because it is discovered that a $2 million dollar life insurance policy was taken out on him. Libby asks Angela to take care of Matty while she figures life out. Angela agrees.

The Review: Creature Commandos

Creature Commandos 5/10

I really wanted to enjoy this series but kept being snatched out of it by the music. It felt like every time I started getting interested in what was happening this strange ass music would start playing and I would have to turn the volume down. The story also felt like it would have been done in three episodes and not over the entire seven that this season was. The team is put together to protect a princess and all is not what it seems. I liked the characters of Doctor Phosphorus and G.I. Robot but we got their stories too early and too late. The other character stories weren't that interesting to me. I'm not gonna even get that into this. By the third episode I felt like I was just watching it because all the other shows I wanna watch don't start till next month.

Indira Varma as the Bride

Sean Gunn as G.I. Robot/Weasel

Alan Tudyk as Alex Sartorius/Doctor Phosphorus

Zoë Chao as Nina Mazursky

David Harbour as Eric Frankenstein

Frank Grillo as Rick Flag Sr

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Twilight Zone List: Worst Twilight Zone Wives

Okay. New plan! After talking to my lady last night I realized that in some cases of this list that there could easily be more than one person to fit the category in a single season and like the last one sometimes there is not an example to use. So starting now if someone fits no matter where they appear in the show I am gonna use them. Turns out the first season has a lot of horrible wives for this list of the Worst Twilight Zone Wives.

Twilight Zone List: Worst Twilight Zone Husbands

 

My lady and I have been watching Twilight Zone marathons together for years now and almost every time we see someone and say they are the worst something. For a while I have wanted to make some kind of list featuring the worst (insert thing they are the worst at) and have decided to finally get it started. I am gonna take someone from each season of the series and explain why they are the worst at it. Gonna start off with these fellas. This should be fun.