Split
6/10
I did
it. I saw Split directed by M. Knight Shyamalan even though I said I
would never see one of his movies after The Village, Lady In The
Water, and The Happening. Its been almost ten years so why the hell
not, right? This will have spoilers and I spoiled this for myself
before even seeing because I heard about something regarding the
ending. I'm not sure if I'll mention it in this post or not.
Whatever. There will be some spoilers so don't get mad when you check
this out and know a bunch of shit that is gonna happen like a bunch
of baby back bitches.
These
three girls are out at and while waiting in the car for one of the
girls fathers to get into the drivers seat one of the girls, Claire
played by Haley Lu Richardson, is super creeped out. A girl in the
back seat—by the way. I wont bother with their names. They are just
victims and are pretty much begging to be killed during this. There's
Black chick and Not Black chick. So Not Black Chick tells him he is
in the wrong car, he sprays them with Jesus Juice aka The Huxtable
Special and they are knocked out. Claire is slowly like “Fuck this
shit...” and slowly reaches for the door handle before being
sprayed as well.
The
kidnapper is a guy named Kevin played by James McAvoy and a bunch of others names because he
has multiple personalities has his back story told through some
flashbacks and his psychiatrist. He lies to her sometimes about which
personality she is talking to. Some are violent, perverted, an old
lady, gay fashion designers, have OCD, and one even has fucking
diabetes. She is trying to help him get rid of these dangerous
personalities. Its not going well. Meanwhile back at Camp Kidnap the
girls freak the fuck out except for Claire. Claire knows some shit.
She isn't as afraid and after some escape attempts he puts the three
in separate places. Claire tries to reason with the 9 year old
personality but he is kind of a dick.
There
is one personality known as “The Beast” that gets mentioned. So
for the rest of the movie I am waiting for this damned thing to show
up because I had already heard about what he could do in this form.
This is where the movie went from me giving it a 4 to a 6. The Beast
ends up attacking and fucking eating the girls. You thought they were
gonna get raped?! Nope! They get eaten alive! For real eaten alive!
Claire races away, everyone else is dead, fuck it. Kevin comes back
and tells her to kill him with a shotgun he has. We get shown how
Claire had a creepy fucking uncle that raised her after her dad died
and he molested her. This comes back into play in the movie. I don't
think I've ever seen someone saved by the fact that they mutilated
their own bodies.
Okay.
A little aside right here. I have known a lot of girls that were
cutters. I've had discussions with them. Almost all of them were
White chicks. As an adult you find out why they do it and the
locations they chose. This girl Claire was like “I must cut all the
self!” She didn't have those small ones on her wrist, thighs, or
some hidden spot on her body. This girl was KOOVERED in scars! The
Beast liked it. So yeah. This movie wasn't horrible. Not close to as
good as Unbreakable, Signs, or The Sixth Sense but not close to as
bad as the previous films I mentioned. You shouldn't rush out and see
this but there ain't much else to see right now other than all the
Oscar films I still need to check out.
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