Before
I Wake 7/10
Today
I watched this crazy ass movie called Before I Wake with B&H.
They'd seen it already and like a lot of people they wanted to see my
reaction to horror movie nonsense. As soon as the movie started I had
a full glass of “Nope!” This stars Jacob Tremblay, Kate Bosworth
who I kind of forgot existed, and Thomas Jane looking like an American
Tommy Wiseau. I didn't know it was really Thomas Jane until we
checked and he looked super rough. This starts with a dude rushing
into a little boys room with a gun looking like he is about to shoot
his ass until something attacks his ass. Next thing you know the
couple played by Bosworth and Jane named Jessie and Mark “Hi,
Mark!” Hobson adopt the same little boy. His name is Cody which
was an automatic pass from me. Name your kid Cody, Logan, Tyler, Conner, Jake, Colin, or any variation of Jake and I'm gonna side-eye you.
Turns
out their last son Sean died after drowning in the bathtub. Not
really sure how he drowned considering when they show flashbacks he
is flailing and such so I just assume he can sit up. After this kid
arrives that night they see these butterflies all in the house. They
are amazed and like “Do butterflies come out at night?” Meanwhile
I'm like “No and move the fuck out!” They don't. Even after the
butterflies suddenly vanish. Cody wakes up and the butterflies
disappear. Turns out his dreams are freaky as hell and they include a
monster known as Canker Man. At school a bully picks on Cody but he
also becomes friends with this girl so it evens out. It's how
childhood works. The next night their dead son appears and they put
together that somehow this new kid Cody is making it happen. Cody
just wants to stay up and never sleep to protect people. Mom wants
him knocked the fuck out so she can play with her dead kid. It's
fucked up.
The
husband knows this is wrong but the mom does not care and even goes
so far as to drug the kid. Next thing you know the dead son comes
back but is all jacked up looking and the Canker Man shows up, busts
the bedroom door down, they can't wake Cody because he is drugged,
and Mark gets eaten by the monster. Cody wakes and calls 911. The
police are like “Someone hit you and the kid is drugged so we need
to take him away.” Someone did hit her. The monster. He slapped the
soul out of her. Jessie gets the paperwork of Cody's and finds one of
the other people that had adopted Cody is the guy from the beginning and
he explains how Cody's powers are great at first and he and his wife
abused them until shit got bad and his wife got eaten.
So now
Cody is being sedated by staff who do not know that when he sleeps
the beat drops and Jessie shows up. The place is covered in moths and
folks are being cocooned. She goes in one room and is treated to a
replay of her son dying so that's cool. Oh, shit Canker Man! He
knocks her down the hallway and before he can kill her she gives him
a butterfly plush toy. The creature pauses and they hug then it turns
into Cody and she carries him away. She explains to him that the
Canker Man is really cancer and he just don't know how to be talkin' right
an' shit. She also explains that he has magic powers and created the
creature and mixed things up because he is a kid and the creature
looked like his dying mother. He then shows he is learning to control
his powers.
So...yay?
Her husband is dead. She probably lost the rights to have Cody after
being found out for drugging him. Her husband is dead. Her dead son
is still dead. That dude that is in an asylum or whatever that tried
to shoot Cody at the start is still thought to be crazy. Oh, and that
bully that was messing with him got straight up ate by the monster in
front of the little girl who saw it so she's just traumatized for
life. But Jessie has a new son so happy ending. The true hero of this
story is that guy that wanted to off Cody at the start. He was the
only one that got what he wanted, a weird version of his wife back
(granted she looked like a kids painting of a woman), and still
wanted to take Cody out. This is on Netflix if you wanna find more
reasons to fear children.
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