Best Movies Of The Year 2019

This year of movies ended up turning out way better than I expected. The last few years I have been seeing less and less of them and not because tickets cost too damn much but because there is so much better shit coming out on subscription services and good movies are coming out few and far between. This is my list of the Best Movies Of The Year 2019. Or BMOTY. You can click here and see what they were for previous years if you feel like it. There for sure will be movies you see on here that you absolutely hated, had no desire to see, or just thought was okay. I gathered movies that I rated an 8 or higher. There were none past 10 this year. Yeah. That's a thing I do sometimes. Its obnoxious. I will also be doing a Worst Movies Of The Year in a day or so. Also, each title has a link to the original blog post.

The Review: Inside Man

Inside Man 9/10

A few days ago I decided to watch the movie Inside Man. I have only seen this one time previously and liked it a lot considering it is a Spike Lee movie. It is my favorite from him because it doesn't feel like one even though he does that stupid camera trick at one point. This movie is a great cat and mouse game where neither one of the characters is quite a cat or a mouse. Just when one thinks they have the answer the damn question gets changed. This guy named Dalton Russell introduces himself to the camera explaining that is committed the perfect robbery. He and his team all going by variations of the name Steve dressing as bug killers and locking up the bank. Though the lead robber is polite and will only beat that ass if you seriously get out of line they do make everyone strip and put on the outfits they are wearing and set them up in different rooms. They do this cool thing where the movie is cut with interviews with the people who were held hostage.

The Review: 6 Underground

6 Underground 7/10

Spoilers! I decided to watch 6 Underground because it looked insane and full of explosions and that is exactly what it was. I read some reviews bashing it because that is the thing to do when it comes to Michael Bay movies. Some people said they could not understand the plot and I am gonna guess because you can watch this at home and people probably checked their phones every five seconds or wrote about it online as they watched which means you're not actually watching, you fucking freaks! Put your phone down and watch things! Okay. So I watched it and enjoyed the fuck out of this. It starts off with a man known as One who is rich as shit and gets a team together to help the world...by killing hundreds of people. I would love to know the body count in this. This image defines this movie.

The Review: Watchmen Episode 9

Watchman Episode 9 Finale: See How They Fly 10/10

The Watchmen series was perfect. But first let me recap this which managed to answer all the questions and show so damn much within an hour. This was an insane ass hour of television. This episode takes place over multiple points in time like previous ones so again I can not describe the in a linear way. It starts off showing Lady Trieu's mother in Veidt's office breaking into his computer and stealing some of his man gravy that he has been saving and replacing it with lotion. She injects it into herself answering the question as to who her father is. Veidt meanwhile is making the recording to the future president explaining his plan to release that giant squid over New York. 

Attack The Crock: American Gods

I'm not one to usually get down with people airing their grievances online, particularly public figures, but in this case it is so ridiculous that I have to write something about it. I watched the entire first season of American Gods and really liked it for the most part. It had its problems with it feeling rushed but I liked it. Episode seven was garbage but that isn't what this is about. I read the book again after watching the series and in hindsight I would rate the show much lower because the book could have been four to five seasons of a great show. I don't even know what they have done with season two and what they plan for season three. One thing not planned is the return of Orlando Jones as Mr. Nancy.

The Review: The Last Black Man In San Francisco

The Last Black Man In San Francisco 9/10

Its almost the end of the year and I am trying to watch as many more movies as I can before the end of the year and Cam and I do our yearly Chocket Awards. A few years back I had already made my lists and everything and then a week later saw like two more movies that would've easily made my lists of favorites. This movie, The Last Black Man In San Francisco, is one of those movies. I had heard of it but knew nothing about it. This movie felt like a play and I mean that in a good way because I love going to plays and saw four this year. This is about a guy named Jimmie who hangs out with his friend Montgomery around San Francisco. They do pretty much the same thing every day including being harassed by the same group of guys. They bus it to this old house that was owned by his grandfather that is now occupied by an older couple. Jimmie just shows up and starts painting the house and making changes. The couple don't want it but he still shows up. One day he finds out that the couple have left and he and Mont just move on in. 

The Review: Venom

Venom 0/10

Venom is such a bad movie that even musicians I like have wack songs on the soundtrack. That's how bad it is. I knew this movie was bad before I started watching it. I said I wouldn't watch it the same way I said I wouldn't see Aquaman or X-Men Dark Phoenix but I always end up seeing this terrible shit. I can't think of anything good to say about this movie. The story was stupid. The effects. The acting was all over the damn place. No one reacted the way someone would in any of the situations they were in. Okay, I should talk about this shit before I lose my mind.

The Review: Dead Man's Line

Dead Man's Line 6/10

I found this crazy ass documentary that came out last year called Dead Man's Line. This is about a hostage situation that happened in Indianapolis in February of 1977. Tony Kiritsis took Richard Hall hostage for 63 hours. Since this took place in '77 there are cameras and audio of everything that went down. Kiritsis was upset because he was falling behind on payments on real estate and thought that Hall and his father wanted the property for themselves. He attached a wire around Hall's neck connected to a shotgun pressed to the back of his head and if he were killed the gun would go off. I shit you not, I have never heard of this incident ever in my life or heard someone as high on themselves as Kiritsis was. I am shocked that he never spread his arms and declared himself a god among men. While holding Hall hostage he also wired his place to explode. It also turned out that he did this same gun technique on his own sister a few years prior. How was this guy free?!

The Review: Watchmen Episode 8

Episode 8: A God Walks Into Abar

Every damn week I sit here and say that each new episode is the best one and that trend continues this week. This episode jumps all over the place through multiple time periods, people, and planets so I am not gonna even sit here and try to recap it in a linear way because the episode is not linear. It starts off in 2009 and Angela is sitting in a bar having a drink. Doctor Manhattan shows up walking down the street after a parade in his honor and picks up a mask and puts it on. He walks into the bar and sits with Angela and asks her to go to dinner with him. He also tells her that he is Doctor Manhattan and she says that is bad since she says him killing for the US during Vietnam created the man that decided to blow her parents up as a child and this night is the anniversary of their deaths. He apologizes and begins to drive her crazy because he is experiencing the past, present, and future all at the same time. He mentions that they will get married, have adopted children, and how they will break up but get back together and have ten wonderful years that end in tragedy.

The Review: Coherence

Coherence 4/10

This movie Coherence was aggravating. This will be full of spoilers because I can not complain without spoiling things. A group of friends that don't really seem like friends at all have a dinner party. They spend a lot of time riffing and it feels like nothing was written well and people are talking over one another trying to “get their shit in.” The power goes out and everyone freaks out and lights candles and grab glow sticks. There are weird notes left on the door as someone inside is still writing that same note. Oh, I forgot to mention a comet flew by. That happened. No phones and no internet. They all head outside and see that all the lights are out on the street except for one other house. Two dudes leave and eventually come back. Oh lord. I have having trouble even trying to explain this. People drink that shouldn't be drinking. People start worrying about shit that can wait till tomorrow because way too much freaky shit is happening like the fact that the house down the street has copies of themselves inside. Yeah, I get it. Ex is here. Fuck that. There are clones!

The Review: Watchmen Episode 7

Episode 7: An Almost Religious Awe

This is gonna be full of spoilers. This episode was crazy as hell and I feel like I say that every time I watch this show. There are only two more episodes so go but thankfully every weird question I have had has been answered even though they are making even more. Like the elephant. I need to know about that elephant soon! So Laurie is checking in on Judd's wife Jane and letting her know about the Cyclops and how Judd may have had some connection to the Kalvary. She recording a bunch of stuff Angela said while knocked out from the Nostalgia. At first his wife acts surprised before flipping the switch and pressing a button. Laurie stares at her like “What the hell are you doing?” her chairs drops into the floor and she vanishes. Jane places a call and Laurie wakes up in a bunker with Keene who reveals that they plan on turning themselves into Dr. Manhattan's. The fuck?! Oh, before all this Petey was at Looking Glass' house and found a bunch of dead Kalvary members so that's cool.

The Review: Watchmen Episode 6

Episode 6: This Extraordinary Being

Good lord this show. This was probably my favorite episode. I will say the same thing next week because each episode manages to get progressively better. This show should not work. Seriously, its based off of a comic book that while many have read its not talked about as much as the worst superhero movies or shows. Most people know Watchmen from the movie which this show doesn't even follow. Its nuts but great. Last week was Looking Glass' episode. This week belonged to Will Reeves and his history. It starts with an episode of American Hero Story where Hooded Justice is forced to unmask with the threat of a sex tape featuring him coming out if he does not help prove them out. He kicks their asses and worries more about the fact he was cheated on by another hero.

The Review: Prime Suspect Series 1

Prime Suspect Series One 8/10

I was talking to Cam weeks ago about this show called Prime Suspect and once I heard who the star was I knew I was gonna watch it. I just had to wait for the right time since I am not super into crime shows. But I am into crime shows from overseas. In England they have very few episodes per season, or series as they call them, so they can not waste time with bullshit. This show is hardcore by the way. They show nude mutilated ass bodies and they get all up in their business. This season has just two episodes that are each the length of a movie. Jane Tennison is good at her job but looked over because of her gender. That's pretty much it. The place is full of dudes who shit on her and it gets even worse when after the death of the chief detective she is promoted. They, like, obviously don't like her specifically one guy who is straight out of a villain handbook.

The Review: Watchmen Episode 5

Episode 5: Little Fear of Lightning

This weeks episode was dedicated to Wade aka Looking Glass and I loved it. It starts off with him as a young man part of a religious group. They are aware that the US and Russia are about to blow one another up so they need to repent before it is too late. Wade walks up to some Knot Tops and tries to convert them. Just when they are about to whip his ass one of the girls leads him away to a house of mirrors. She challenges his faith and then the strength of his belt as she pulls his pants down. I was like “Dude, run!” She gets him butt booty ass naked and then runs off with his cloths. He stands there naked surrounded by mirrors and starts to yell at himself for being a sinner and a fool. Next thing you know a sound starts making the mirrors break and blood come out of Wade's ears. He heads outside and almost everyone is dead. The camera pans out and we get to see the giant squid that killed millions.

Sitting In The Aisle: Doctor Sleep

Doctor Sleep 9/10

Full of spoilers. Why haven't more people seen Doctor Sleep? Why aren't you all talking about how damn good this movie is? I saw this today with CK and did not expect a ton out of it and did not expect to like it as much as I did. I watch horror films but never actively seek them out. I have read the book, I watched one of the mini series, and I have seen The Shining. While this is a sequel to The Shining, both the film and the book, it creates it own thing as well that I'd actually like to see happen in the future. I would love to see the young actress star in everything. That girl was so damned good in this. And the villains. Holy crap the villains. These were some spooky ass people. This is about three stories that end up colliding.

Sitting In The Aisle: The Cave

The Cave WHOA/10

I can't give this a normal rating like I do with other films. I went to AFI Fest with Coco again. We do this every year and I told her “We are gonna see some sad ass movies...” Well, we saw The Cave which was very sad but had some humor in it and I genuinely loved seeing the way the hospital staff worked together. Some scenes reminded me of when I would get trapped in the emergency room when I worked at the hospital and there would be shouting, bleeding, and everyone needed to be a well oiled machine to save lives. Except I have never in my life had to worry about a jet dropping bombs on where I was working. Holy shit, the bombs in this documentary.

The Review: Law Abiding Citizen

Law Abiding Citizen 7/10

I watched Law Abiding Citizen a few days ago almost nine years to the day I had watched it for the first time. This movie walks a very fine line between cheesy unbelievability and harsh ass reality. Clyde Shelton is happily living his inventor life with his wife and daughter and moments later some dudes break in, tie him and his wife up, and do god knows what to them before killing them. Nick Rice is representing Shelton in court and mentions that one of the guys is taking a plea deal so he'll walk free. Shelton is like “But they raped and killed my family.” Rice is like “This is how it works. Sorry.” So one of the guys walks away super free and Shelton sees Rice shake the guys hand and vanishes. We fast forward ten years later and Rice has his wife and daughter and he heads off to see the execution of one of the guys. During the execution the guy says how the one that got off free is the one that did all the raping and uh killing. He gets injected and shit goes bad real fast. He starts bleeding and flailing before finally dying. Turns out someone switched the juice. Uh oh...?

The Review: Watchmen Episode 4

Episode 4: If You Don't Like My Story, Write Your Own

In a show full of weird this show has to do a lot of it to make me say out loud “Wow. That was weird.” This was that episode. It starts with this husband and wife trying to sell eggs on the roadside in front of their house. No one comes. Later that night after they are going to sleep this lady that has been mentioned in previous episodes shows up named Lady Trieu. She offers to buy their home and land and gives them three minutes to make a decision. They are like “Nah” and she mentions how they have no legacy and tried to have a kid but could not years ago. They want her out the house until she is like “Here's your baby. Boom.” She genetically made it for them and they sign over their shit just as three minutes pass on the hourglass. Next thing you know something crashes in the woods nearby and they ask what it is. She says “Its mine.” They fast forward and it is the location where she is building this big ass science clock.

Sitting In The Aisle: Parasite

Parasite 10/10

The hype you have heard about Parasite is worth it. I made sure not to know anything about this movie going in and saw it with Sarah today. I was not planning on heading out to see this anytime soon even though I love a few of the directors movies. But we headed out and holy shit this movie is good. I am not gonna spoil anything in this review because I would love for people to just go see this and take it in without a lot of knowledge. I will say that the story is great, the look is amazing. Dirty things look disgusting and clean things look brand damn new. Everyone was perfectly cast. I can not imagine someone seeing this and going “It was okay...” I probably wouldn't see a movie with someone again that didn't love this actually.

Sitting In The Aisle: Terminator Dark Fate

Terminator Dark Fate 0/10

Full of spoilers. This movie has no heart. There. That's all I should write. Terminator Dark Fate is one of those movies I see and after it is over ask myself “Why was this made?” That is worse than a movie just straight up being garbage. If a movie is garbage I will at least feel something even if it is anger or annoyance. Hell, it could be garbage but funny. But this movie is just a series of explosions, bad acting, and things being told/barely shown that would have been an even better movie. Let me get this shit off my chest real quick because it is a complaint I have had with every Terminator movie after T2. And forget everything else about any film after T2. None of them count or matter according to this. They pulled a fucking Halloween.

The Review: Dolemite Is My Name

Dolemite Is My Name 9/10

I loved this movie. I don't say the phrases “feel good movie” or “inspiring” often but that's what Dolemite Is My Name was. I saw some friends recommend it and someone I used to work with say I should watch it and I am glad I did. When I was little I saw Petey Wheatstraw and for years would try to explain just the beginning of it to people and would get looked at like I was crazy. Which is totally understandable in hindsight. If some five year old told me the plot I would have told their parents that their kid was insane. This movie was a great tribute to Rudy Ray Moore. Before he even hit it big he did a lot but this focused more on the start of his rise to fame. Even when they reenacted scenes that actually occurred in the real films it seemed like they were acting badly.

The Review: Watchmen Episode 3

Episode 3: She Was Killed By Space Junk

This episode was all about Laurie Blake and it was an episode I didn't realize I needed. I know what I think of when I think of Watchmen and her character of Silk Spectre is not that thing. I never wondered what happened to her even after this show started. But this episode shows that not only is she alive but she is a damned federal agent. It starts with her robbing a bank and a vigilante appearing and whipping ass. She reveals herself to be an agent and they capture the guy as protesters say he is a hero. She is asked to head to Tulsa and handle the murder of Judd (the captain that got hung). She hates people in masks so it makes a good mixture considering who she was and what her mother was. During the visit she quickly figures out who everyone is under their masks. She talks to Mirror and knows who he is. She easily figures out that Angela is Sister Night and wonders why Judd's body was buried so quickly as the investigation is still going. Likely cause he was on drugs. Laurie spends most of the episode talking to a phone that is supposed to be connected to Dr. Manhattan telling him a long joke about god using Ozymandias, Dr. Manhattan, and Night Owl as examples.

The Review: Watchmen Episode 2

Episode 2: Martial Feats of Comanche Horsemanship

Holy shit this show is good! I keep putting off watching episodes of Watchmen because I know there are only nine episodes and this will be over before I know it. Hell, the newest episode comes on tonight and I'll probably wait a week before watching it. This one starts off in Germany during the war with a letter being written to be dropped out of the sky aimed at Black soldiers pointing out how America treats them like shit and how they can prosper in Germany. The soldier keeps it and it turns out it is the father of the boy that grew into the old man who somehow managed to hang a grown ass man from a tree. The note in his pocket was written on that piece of paper. Angela brings him to her bakery where he is being vague as hell about everything she asks. Angela heads to her dead captains house and finds out that he as a Klan suit hidden. Well...shit.

The Review: Watchmen Episode 1

Episode 1: Its Summer And We're Running Out Of Ice

Full of spoilers. I did not even want to give this show a chance when I first saw the trailer. I had zero interest in watching a series based off of Watchmen. Like, none. But after watching the second season of Legion and remembering how stubborn I was about that show and then ended up loving it I decided to check this out today. Holy shit. This starts off with a historical incident that I did not know even happened. It starts off in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1921. This kid is watching a silent film with his mother playing piano in a theater. The kid is enjoying himself while the mother weeps and she plays. Next thing you know his dad bursts into the place with a rifle and they run off. The Black people in the streets are being dragged, shot, burned, and attacked. There was even a goddamn airplane shooting people! This was real shit that happened that I never heard of! It is known as Tulsa race riot, the Tulsa race massacre, Greenwood Massacre, and the Black Wall Street Massacre.

The Review: Legion Season 2

Legion Season Two 10/10

I finished watching season two of the FX series Legion the other day and have been trying to figure out how to even write a review. After watching the first season a couple years back and absolutely loving it for whatever reason I dragged my ass watching the second season. Yes, I know there is a third and last season and I will drag my ass to watch it because I am bummed a great show is ending. Hmm. Maybe I'm not. Shows go too long these days and three seasons seem to be the magic number. The last season focused on getting to know the characters and David Haller defeating the Shadow King. This season continues that but far more in depth as well as figuring out if David is actually the hero of this story. There is a race going on to find the real body of the Shadow King fka Amahl Farouk. Our group is now located at Division 3 and it is being run by Admiral Fukyama who sits in a strange ass room with a basket on his head surrounded by three android lady folk that have mustaches. Everything is freaky!

Who Is The Best Joker? Part 2

I recently saw the Joker movie starring Joaquin Phoenix. I loved the movie and it got me to thinking about a previous blog post I did years ago where I ranked the best portrayals of the Joker in film. As I was reading it I realized that it had been six years since I wrote that and in that time there has been two more versions of the character to make it to film. Everyone immediately thinks of Heath Ledger as the best to ever play the character. I like that he is such a strange character that has no set in stone origin that as long as you can make it funny, weird, or entertaining I'll watch it. Just make sure his hair is green, his face is white, and he is scary. So in this post I am gonna add to the list. Click here if you want to read that and realize that this post is gonna have spoilers for the latest Joker movie.

Sitting In The Aisle: Joker

Joker 9/10

This was was amazing. Let me say that first. Joker immediately became one of my favorite movies this year for a lot of reasons I'll cover later. This is gonna be full of spoilers by the way. There has been so much controversy about this movie and how it may inspire violence. That seems more like a society problem than a movie making problem to me. If you have built it so that if someone with a mental issue has access to get a weapon and use it on others that does not mean you ban every movie where violence can occur. Did people ban Amy Schumer films after Trainwreck? Shit happens. It sucks but that's just the way things are sometimes. Shit happens because some people suck. The theater I went to was more than half full on a Tuesday afternoon at 2pm and they even clapped when it was done.

This movie is about fucking mental health care!

The Review: Hush

Hush 2/10

This was dull as hell. I am shocked by this. Considering that Hush had a ton of Batman villains in it and good animation I figured it would get better as it went along but it felt more like a weird music video from the early 90's where people show up just so I can say “Hey, I know them!” The voice acting was good for the most part but I never need to hear Batman moan cause he's turned on ever again. The store is that someone knows a lot about Bruce Wayne and Batman and is trying to pick off people he knows one by one. He kills one of Wayne's friends who they try to red herring. The reveal of who Hush actually was stank. I would have been pissed if I still bought comics and read that shit. Villains were just tossed in with no regard and super important shit was squeezed into this. For a movie that was not even ninety minutes long it felt more like two and a half hours. I can't suggest anyone really watch this unless you're an idiot like me that must watch anything Batman related.

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Overlord

Overlord 8/10

I decided to check out the movie Overlord. I know it came out last year and all I knew was that it took place during a war and that it got crazy at the end. Yeah. It does. This movie was tense as fuck. From the very start we meet a group of soldiers aboard a plane during WW2. The thing I like about war movies is that characters are what they are and it is easy to see who is who. Anyone creative (writer, photographer, or artist) is gonna die. The guy that talks shit is gonna have to prove he can back it up. The silent one is terrifying and may turn on the team. These guys have a mission to cut off Nazi communications the day before the beaches of Normandy are stormed. They are cruising along when planes are shot down and they are hit. Our main character Boyce seems terrified by everything all around him before jumping out of the plane, almost drowning, and then landing in time to see his sergeant slaughtered.

The Review: Dark Phoenix

Dark Phoenix 1/10

Full of spoilers and complaints. There have been twelve X Men films. Twelve. Let that sink in for a second. And out of those twelve they have not made a good one. Good scenes? Yeah. Cool shots? Sure. But an actual “Holy shit I can't wait to see that again!” movie? Hell no. This movie was butt. I have tried to figure out the timeline for these movies and it is fucking impossible. Even when it was rebooted they managed to fuck it all up by mixing in aspects of the previous films as if they were so good they couldn't pass it up. I blame this on Wolverine. No matter what they wanted to make sure he was still attached to these in some way and ended up boning themselves right in the b-hole. This movie is a fucking mess from actual start to literal finish and I am so glad that they are done with it. It just sucks that they somehow managed to make the worse X Men film as their last. Where do I even start? That's probably what the writer of this mess said. Oh god. This is the directors first legit time directing. He also wrote a lot of terrible shit. Simon Kinberg. Look him up. I did not want this movie to be as terrible as it was. I would have loved to have been surprised. But it was actually worse than I imagined.

The Review: Dolemite

Dolemite ???/10

I am not gonna sit here and try to give this movie an actual number rating. This movie was fucking insane. Let me rant about something for a moment. Amazon has a ton of movies. It is not easy to find new movies. They suggest booty ass movies most times but this time after watching Dolemite they suggested a ton of Black films and my goofy ass is gonna watch a whole bunch of cheesy ones that I have heard of but never seen like this one. Dolemite has been set up by a rival and is spending twenty years in prison. The warden makes a deal with him to stop the guy because even though Dolemite was bad this guy is way worse. Dolemite gets out and minutes later he and his women gun down three guys.

Sitting In The Aisle: Hobbs And Shaw

Hobbs And Shaw 7/10

Full of spoilers. This was for sure an action movie. I watched Hobbs And Shaw even though I said I wouldn't. Not that I hate the Furious movies because I have seen all of them (except Tokyo Drift because fuck that nonsense). There was so much cast drama about this being made which made me laugh because the loudest ones were the ones that could be easily replaced and I wouldn't even care. Tyrese was barking like a baby dog and I joked that Kevin Hart could replace him and be better. Guess what? Hart is in this fucking movie. I had no idea. And they use just the right amount of him which made it even better. In this movie Shaw has a sister named Hattie that is an M16 agent. She and her team are there to stop a super virus called Snowflake. Everything is going fine until this dude named Brixton Lore shows up and starts punching holes in steel. This bastard is too strong so she injects herself with the virus because...science? She gets away and M16 thinks she turned on her team and took the virus. Like immediately. They believe she turned in a second. Shaw then visits his hot ass mother I prison. This is all in the first twelve minutes of the movie!

The Review: Reign Of Supermen

Reign Of Supermen 2/10

I was so bummed out watching Reign Of Supermen. DC has made some really good animated movies but this one fell flat in so many ways. Maybe it was rushed. Maybe they got cocky. Either way they ended up making a lazy animated, sloppy story that did nothing to make new characters interesting or ones I'd ever want to see a full movie about. The Justice League end up having to be dumbed down just so these other characters got a chance to appear. Even if one of these movies have a silly story the art saves it but in this there are points where they could not be bothered to animate people running from danger or streets were straight up empty. The previous Death Of Superman movie set this up to be good but this follow up straight up stank. The art was levels below the look of the previous movie and it didn't even feel like the two were connected. Why rush to even make this movie? Make a few good ones showing everyone surviving without Superman and then bring him back. Nah. Most of the voice work was good. Hmm. Some. Not most.

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Mission Impossible Fallout

Mission Impossible Fallout 3/10

Well, it was definitely a movie. I have seen all of the Mission Impossible movies and while some were super action heavy with some story accidentally getting involved this one was nothing but explosions with some spy type shit squeezed in to shut people like me up. The face swap thing isn't even cool anymore. I don't know how you can have a team of spies that do so much public damage. You would not be able to explain away the shit they get away with to a government. In Paris alone they would've been asking hundreds of questions after the motorcycle chase. If you have never seen one of these movies, I think there are five previous ones, and watched this you would not feel lost. Even if you are like “He was married?!” they go out of their way to plot that out. Its fine.

The Review: Aquaman

Aquaman 3/10

I finally watched Aquaman. This movie came out during last year when I put my foot down and decided that I was not gonna rush out and see every superhero movie that came out. This is on HBO so I decided to watch it. I was shocked at how long it was. I was not shocked by how long it felt. This is an origin story even though we've already seen Arthur/Aquaman before. In this movie he earns his title and defends Earth against Atlantians and Atlantians against themselves and finds his mother who he thought was dead and has been gone for decades. I did not expect this to be a good movie. I wasn't even looking to be surprised by it being better than I'd hoped like Shazam because you can not make this character entertaining by himself using the cast they have. Is it better than Justice League? Yeah. That's not a difficult task. But it was long and they crammed in way too much shit. Black Manta was wack as shit. The main bad guy whose name I can't even think of right now was lame. And I knew he would hook up with Mera as soon as she showed up.

Sitting In The Aisle: Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood 9/10

Spoilers ahead. I love movies. I go to movies to be entertained. I do not want the real world intruding. If someone falls two stories and gets up and runs away I am fine. If someone can stop time I am fine. If Bruce Lee is portrayed as the most cocky, confident man ever I am all for it. Cam invited me to go see Once Upon A Time In Hollywood at the Arclight. We saw the 35mm version which I would suggest. Made it feel more move-ish. This movie had us gasping, laughing, cheering, and feeling very satisfied. Cam went into this not knowing anything about the movie. She didn't even know Sharon Tate was a part of the story. I had already read a fake plot of it online and knew all the gossip behind the scenes. So I was super happy to see that I was wrong, the internet was wrong, and that Quentin Tarantino made another good movie. I hated Django Unchained. I hated The Hateful Eight. So I wasn't dying to see this one. If this is for real his last film then he did an amazing job and didn't drop any n-bombs.

The Review: Barry Season 2 (1 - 3)

I finished watching season two of Barry last night and am feeling so damned happy that shows like this exist. I loved season one (click here to read that review) and this one managed to be even better. Don't know how they did it but they did. This is gonna be full of spoilers because I do not like that I blew through the first season in my previous review the way I did. I should have written them episode by episode but when I am binging a show that means stopping to write and that is not fun. So this will be a review/recap of the second season.

This season picks up closely following the previous and the death of Detective Moss is being investigated. Her death hangs over this show like a fart that can not be ignored. Any time I start to like Barry I am reminded that this guy is a killer that needs to be dealt with. Yeah, another season later and my goofy ass is still struggling with this problem. What the hell does that say about me?

The Review: Barry Season 1

Barry Season 1 (9/10)

This is a damn good show. I had people at work telling me that Barry on HBO was good but I did not think from the trailers that I'd be into it. The basic premise is that a hitman wants to be an actor. Okay. That does not sound all that interesting to me. Then I decided to watch the first episode and knew my ass was hooked. The humor on this show is genuine. No forced yucks being thrown out. The action is intense and the violence is sudden. The characters make this show and the conversations they have feel authentic. Even though this show is violent and you have no idea who is gonna make it through an episode or the season (one death shook my ass!) I stayed invested. The episodes are about half an hour each and there are only eight episodes in a season so it flies by.

10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched The Boys

The Boys 9/10

This will be full of spoilers. Last weekend I watched the new Amazon series The Boys. I have read some of the comic book it is based off of but did not remember enough about it to sit and watch this show and complain about what was changed and what did not happen in the comics. I was planning on writing a The Review about this but did not wanna sit here and do a recap. Instead I am gonna list the 10 Reasons Why You Should Have Watched The Boys. The only reason why I didn't give this a 10/10 is because towards the end of the series things started to lag a tiny bit and since I binged this it felt longer than it actually was.

This is about a group of people that want to take the superheroes of the world down because for the most part they ain't shit. Publicly they are amazing. They save people, avert disasters, make movies, and sponsor great causes. Privately they do drugs, rape folks, and cause hundreds of people to die for PR. As the series progresses it is clear that there are no actual good guys in this world. Just people who have better than others reasons to be assholes or not and victims. This show has a fish man committing sexual assault, a tiny man diving into a lady's vajayjay, a very religious hero that is all the way gay but sponsors pray the gay away programs, and a beloved hero that is jealous of a baby and the attention it gets. Its fucked up and brilliant.

The Review: Sleepover

Sleepover 6/10

Today I watched this movie called Sleepover with B&H in their successful mission to make me watch anything featuring Evan Peters. They made no mention of him being in this movie until he was sprung on me and I lost my mind. He is a kid that loves showing people a photo of him in a coma. But this is not about him. This is about a group of young girls getting away with vandalism, grand theft auto, and staying out past curfew. It is the last day of the 8th grade and Julie wants to have a sleepover. She invites three girls but one can't make it because fuck these nerds. She has a dance to go to. Julie invites this other girl like an afterthought. Julie's mom leaves her with her dad who spends the entire night installing a water filter while her brother who dropped out of college begs her for money. During the night the popular girl Staci who did not wanna come to the sleepover climbs into Julie's house after her boyfriend thinks that skipping the dance she is dressed for is not as fun as driving onto a lawn to suck face.

Sitting In The Aisle: Spider-Man Far From Home

Spider-Man Far From Home 10/10

This will be full of all of the spoilers. I fucking loved this movie. Spider-Man Far From Home managed to be better than the first Homecoming movie and anything I disliked about any characters was handled and fixed in this one. I mean, they did not have all that much to fix considering how much I liked it. This takes place after Endgame where Tony Stark died. If you are finding that out by reading this then that is totally on you, not me. Nick Fury and Maria Hill head to this town in Mexico where a storm with a face caused a bunch of destruction. Next thing you know the shit kicks up again and suddenly this globe headed dude shows up and tells them they want none of this and then...Whitney Houston. I shit you not. The theater lost it laughing. Back at Peter's school the school news made a video celebrating the Avengers that died by playing “I Will Always Love You” with some terrible photos.

The Review: Tag

Tag 5/10

I did not expect this movie to be as funny as it was or have such well done action sequences. Tag kept being suggested to me and I remember someone saying that it was like Hawkeye having his own solo film already in this. So I watched this and liked it. This is based off the true story of a group of friends who have been playing the game of tag for decades. They take this shit to brand new levels to tag one another. There are rules and it takes place only in May. They find out that the best player who has never been tagged is getting married soon and plans to never play the game again so they meet up to head their and get him before he can.

Sitting In The Aisle: Booksmart

Booksmart 8/10

My name is Dante and I am a 40 year old Black dude that really liked a movie about two White chicks wanting to party before graduating high school. By the way, full of random ass spoilers. A coworker told me that this movie Booksmart was funnier than Tropic Thunder and I told her to hold her horses because I fucking love that movie and the commentary makes it even better. This was funny and had some parts that made me crack up. I love Gigi. I want an entire movie with her just appearing in places unexpectedly. This is about two girls named Amy and Molly. They are the type of people that you roll your eyes at or sigh when they enter the room and the other students do. Amy has been out of the closet for a couple of years and her religious family is fine with it. They just don't want details. She plans to head to Botswana after school to make tampons for women in villages. Yeah. She has a crush on this skateboarding girl named Ryan whose voice I loved. Molly plans to go to Yale, get a great job, and a great career.

The Review: Tomb Raider

Tomb Raider 1/10

What the hell was this butt fest of a movie? Don't think I was sitting here hoping this movie would blow my mind with a great story and incredible action. But I did at least hope it would be fun and cheesy. Wasn't fun. Wasn't cheesy. It just existed. That is a good way to describe this. It just existed. Things happened on screen, people were hit (mostly Lara Croft), explosions happened, and it threatened the world with a sequel that I assure you will never happen. I am sure I said the same thing about the Tomb Raider film from back in the day but that was when Angelina Jolie had that boom boom pow. I won't even compare that and this movie because they were both ass. Just not fun shit that costs way more than they should've. I would have taken that 90 million bucks and invested in three seasons of the most epic Zelda series ever seen. So yeah. You may notice I'm not actually talking about the movie. That's cause it blew creepy clowns. Not all that much to say.