The Review: The Assignment

The Assignment 2/10

I watched the comedy of the year on Netflix yesterday called The Assignment starring Michelle Rodriguez and Sigourney Weaver. I'm not sure who needed to pay off a loan but neither of these ladies should have wasted their time making this dumpster fire. There will be spoilers which you should thank me for because then you can spend your time watching cool shit. This is about a hitman named Frank Kitchen played by Rodriguez. You can ignore the stupid name but you will not be able to ignore Rodriguez with prosthetic makeup to look like a guy. She looks like Benecio Del Toro in Sin City but in color which makes it look way worse. She is known for being one of the best killers out there you can hire but for some reason doesn't get paid all that much.

The Review: Death Note

Death Note 2/10

I had photos ready and was gonna write a long review about Death Note that premiered on Netflix and then I realized that it was not worth the trouble. I've never watched the anime this was based off of so I have no attachments to it. I know what it is and the premise and that's about it. Some kid finds a book that gives him the ability to kill people just by writing their name down. In this series this weak ass guy that is supposed to be in high school but looks way older but really is not gets the book one day while sitting outside looking weak. It falls from the sky and a demon shows up telling him some rules of the book which of course he tries to bend and shit. This girl he likes wants to be with him as they find criminals and have them die.

The Review: The Defenders

The Defenders 2/10

You can't play a Punisher trailer after the wet turd that was The Defenders and expect me to be excited. I just finished forcing myself, yes forcing myself, to finish this first and hopefully last season of The Defenders on Netflix. I don't even know where to start because I have a whole bag of bitching and my gloves are too big to pull them out. Let me start off with what I did like about the show though first. The stuff with Luke Cage was cool. Pre-Defenders stuff. The music was good, the action, the stories. It felt like I was watching a second season of his show which made me happy 'cause I loved the first one so much I proposed to it but it rejected me because I don't have stable employment. Cage, Claire, and Misty Knight are good. But then they decided to go with this wack ass screen wipe to show they were gonna head to another character. Like goddamn Iron Fist.

My Song Of The Week: Random Remixes

I have been working on some more remixes the last few nights. I did a remix of Foreigner Double Vision, Rancid Ruby Soho, and The Eagles Hotel California. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

The Review: The Defiant Ones

The Defiant Ones 10/10

Perfect! I watched the documentary The Defiant Ones on HBO Now (which is a great app but set up terribly) and loved every damned hour of it. It is set up in four parts chronicling the lives and careers and how they crossed paths of Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine. Also proud that I now know how to pronounce the name Iovine and what the hell a music producer even does. Before watching I thought they were just kinda names attached to things that don't really do anything but lend their famous names. This starts off at the end and works its way back around in such a clever way that I didn't get annoyed that the story switched up.

My Song Of The Week: That's What You Get

A few days ago I decided to try making a dance song. Some long ass song where the beat is loud and changes up. Then I found a clip from a song that fit and ended up adding a few more. I ended up adding The Rolling Stones, Beach Boys, and Bon Jovi. Its weird but I like it. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Theater Whore: Atomic Blonde

Atomic Blonde 1/10

There will be some spoilers. I was so excited to see this movie based off of the trailers and finally got my chance today. Atomic Blonde is a dumpster fire. If you wanna see Charlize Theron punching people, shooting people, stabbing people, and getting her ass kicked then you'll love this movie. It takes place in 1989 aka the 80's which I was not aware of. That means that every single fucking scene has a new song that starts playing. It was cool for two songs but by the end you start hearing different versions of the same songs being played. It wasn't cool. Speaking of which, this entire movie seems to scream “Isn't this shot cool?! Look at that lighting! Oh, did you see that?! Wasn't that cool looking?! Everything looks so cool!”

The Review: Star Wars Rogue One

Star Wars Rogue One 2/10

I did not enjoy this movie. Full disclosure and as some of you may know, I did not grow up watching Star Wars. Knew what it was, had some toys, but did not see the movies until I was older and watched them in in order of Episode 1 through Episode 6 which Star Wars fans say you should never do. Too late. I did it. I was also confused waiting for that Black Storm Trooper to show up and then realized that I was watching the wrong movie. Either way I was already in and forcing myself to finish this one. I won't bother listing who is in it or anything like that because I don't feel like it. The basic premise is a girl's father helped create the Death Star, he leaves, her mom dies, she is abandoned by someone that was supposed to take care of her, she is arrested, she is forced to care about the war, she joins the war and helps them win.

My Song Of The Week: Skin Tight Jeans

Tonight I did a remix of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream titled Skin Tight Jeans. I'm not a huge fan of her but I'll be damned if she doesn't stay on tempo perfectly. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

 

My Song Of The Week: The Mixes

Here is a set of some of the remixes that I have done over the last few weeks. I've done some other songs that I'll load soon. This contains Set My Soul On Fire which is a Muse remix, No Can Do which is a Hall & Oates remix, a Game of Thrones remix called The Throne, and I Just Wanted To Hold which is another Muse one. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.

Theater Whore: Baby Driver

Baby Driver 10/10

If I rated movies higher than 10 Baby Driver would have been the first to get it. I fucking loved this movie. I decided to check this out today because I was just sitting here and was gonna dick around when I remembered that I had wanted to see this in theaters. I figured that I'd like this because I like Edgar Wright's previous movies but I had no idea that I would not want this movie to end and want to see it again as soon as it was over.

The Review: Black Mirror Season Two

Black Mirror Season Two 9/10

I swear, this show Black Mirror managed to jack me up every single episode. Just when I thought I knew where the story was going I would not only be wrong, but wrong and left feeling like an asshole. There are some episodes in particular that made me feel stupid for feeling a certain way the entire episode until the last ten minutes. This season had three episodes just like the first as well as a bonus Christmas episode that I'll include. I am so glad these are all on Netflix. From talking to folks that are afraid to watch this show its because of that pig episode in the first season. Come on, people. That is the very first episode of the first season. They ain't all that bad. I mean, it was a crazy good episode but fucked up. There will be some spoilers, you babies.

Theater Whore: Spider-Man Homecoming

Spider-Man Homecoming 9 ½/10

Oh, I had all of the fun watching Spider-Man Homecoming! There will be some spoilers in this. I'm not gonna review this like I do other movies and cover it completely or anything. This movie is everything that as a fan of Tom Holland in Civil War and rated Holland as the best Spider-Man that I wanted. He was nerdy, he lacked confidence, had a great support group, and wasn't hated by everyone. This movie also had a really good supporting cast. It wasn't just about Spider-Man struggling with his powers and being hated by everyone in the city. He was an actual friendly, neighborhood Spider-Man which is something all other five films failed to do. People would see him and get hype and then ask him to do tricks. It also showed that crime is not always happening and sometimes there isn't even when Spider-Man thinks there is.

The Review: Castlevania

Castlevania 8/10

I decided to take a break from watching the second season of Black Mirror and feeling weird an check out the new Netflix Castlevania series. I played the video game back in the 80's but I'm not married to it and didn't follow it throughout its many incantations. I say this to point out that I have no idea where the story went so I'm not upset whether or not this one stays true to whatever happened in the games. This starts with this lady finding Dracula and trying to convince him to learn more about humanity and he'll teach her science. It works but backfires when the church burns her ass at the stake. Dracula finds out and he is like “Fuck everything!” and gives folks a year to make peace with their god before he returns and kills them all. He does. Its violent as fuck.

The Review: Okja

Okja 10/10

There will be a lot of spoilers in this. I need to stop saying that and just say don't read movies reviews until after you've watched shit if you are worried about it being ruined. I gave it a 10/10. Watch it. I loved this fucking movie! Okay, I had no idea what this movie was about before I started watching it. Coworker said she could not watch it because of it making you not want to eat meat anymore to which I responded watching Super Size Me and wanting McDonald's and eating a burger while watching Food Inc. You can't stop me from eating meat. I saw a big pig with a city on its back with a little girl and the title Okja. That was the extent of my knowledge of this movie. I was excited to watch it and not even sure why but I am so glad that I did.