Thursday, September 17, 2015

The Review: The River Wild

Someone I work with and I were talking about older films and he was shocked...shocked that I had not seen The River Wild. Look. I'm late when it comes to these type of films. I grew up on a steady diet of garbage so it takes me a while to get around to classics and stuff. I still haven't seen Glory which means I'm no longer allowed in South Central. This is the story of an annoying family that I want to drown being taken hostage by the worlds worse robbers.

Meryl Streep plays Gail. She is a teacher raising her two kids pretty much alone because her husband Tom played by David Strathairn is working all the time. And he's just naturally dickish. So the family minus the father decide to go on a camping and river rafting trip. Tom shows up and no one is really happy about it because in movies fathers ruin everything. So while rafting they keep coming across these guys in another raft. Eventually one comes up missing and the family helps out the last two Wade played by Kevin Bacon and Terry played by John C. Reilly. They look like criminals so of course the son loves them more than the father.

They end up capturing the family and seemingly killing the father and chasing the dog away. Oh, the dog! Why would you bring the fucking dog with you rafting?! They left the daughter with the deaf grandparents. Oh, I mention the deaf part because plot device. This was made in 1994 during that time where these long ass family in danger mom has to save the day films were popular. I didn't really like this and wanted everyone to drown at the end. And the dog Maggie had a dick sometimes.

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