Theater Whore: Saw 3D

This is a fucked up film. Let me get that out of the way first. I started watching all of the Saw films back in 2008 which is a lot of gore to cram in over a weekend. I’m not a fan of many new horror films. Most of them are just a bunch of unlikable assholes that you don’t care about when they die. Back in the day (no, wait, don’t walk away!) there were nerds, sluts, jocks, assholes, and the Black dude. Lots of characters. Now no one is worth cheering for. Look at Human Centipede. I didn’t care that those girls got their faces sewn to assholes (literally) and made to march and eat poop.

Saw 3D: The Final Chapter, while very gory, manages to offer a level of cleverness that these other films wish they could. May I add that this is the first film I have seen in 3D? I used to watch stuff when I was little with the red and blue glasses that made everything look like you were wearing drunk goggles. This film uses the 3D very well and it only helps you feel like you’re a part of this horrible stuff the victims (?) are going through.

It immediately starts off with two guys, a girl, and three buzz saws. Sounds like the next hit show for ABC. They are out in the open trapped in a glass box strapped to the saws while hundreds of people watch, and of course, record it on their phones. What happens next is an assload of blood and guts.

For any that don’t know the Saw movies are based around the John Kramer aka Jigsaw finding, capturing, and torturing people who themselves have done terrible things to others. He sets traps that while they are escapable will likely maim you. If you ever wake up and Billy the puppet is riding his little tricycle into the room expect to leave (if you survive) with a limb, teeth, or most of your skin missing. Jigsaw later dies and is replaced by a helper and eventually a dirty cop. Hey continue his legacy even though while dead he makes appearances in each film.

Saw 3D featured traps that you will pray you never end up in. Some dude gets his body glued to the seat of a car and has to pull a lever in 30 seconds or else he and the rest of his racist ass friends will have their jaws ripped off, one will be crushed as a wheel hung over her face, and another gets ripped apart. Guess what happens. Another scene features a key having to be pulled out of someone’s throat so that four gigantic needles do not puncture her neck. I wonder if she will live…

Definitely check this movie out. I saw it (I’m so clever) in a packed theater with people who screamed and moaned at all the same parts. This is supposed to be the very last one and hopefully it is. It ends on one of the most surprising notes I’ve seen in films for years that made me go, “Oh, shit!” I would love to know what you all think about this film or horror films in general.