The
Cloverfield Paradox 2/10
I just
finished watching this new Netflix movie that I discovered existed by
accident called The Cloverfield Paradox and it is not good. There
will be some spoilers. In case you are wondering it is connected to
the Cloverfield universe like 10 Cloverfield Lane which I enjoyed.
The first Cloverfield movie gave me motion sickness and Lane was
really good. The funny thing about that and this movie is that there
is no actual need for it to be connected to Cloverfield whatsoever.
They could have and should have been their own movies but for some
odd reason they are shoehorning these monster aliens into these
movies and making them kinda worse.
This
takes place about ten years from now an Earth is fucked and needs new
energy sources. You know. That old thing. Some guy on TV expositions
the shit out of the plot as some stereotypes on a space station fire
up this beam that ends up sending them into an alternate dimension.
For a bunch of what I assume smart people they do a lot of dumb shit.
Like in one scene a wall is making scary sounds and there is
pounding. This is after other weird shit has happened. One woman is
like “Open that up!” and I was like “The fuck are you even
saying to me right now?!” Meanwhile on Earth shit is falling apart
and the Cloverfield monsters are attacking.
This
was a waste of time and I gave it a 2 because I finished it. But
there's no need to watch this. If you are hoping to find out more
about the monsters like where they came from or why they do the
things they do you're out of luck. The jump scares are obviously
going to happen. The acting is inconsistent. The story is weak. The
main lady's story is supposed to be touching, I guess, but she acts
so stupid and then changes her mind that it made me wish that her
story was not even included. The editing is noticeably bad which is a
super easy way to yank me out of a movie or TV show. The ending is
just insulting for anyone hoping that this will expand upon the
Cloverfield series. I'm glad this was not released in theaters. It is
a waste of time.
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