Sunday, May 19, 2019

The Review: Ready Player One



Ready Player One 1/10

This movie is garbage. Who liked this shit? I know when it came out some folks were hype like “I loved the book!” and others were like “80's stuff! I know 80's stuff!” So do I. I lived through the shit and I am not clamoring to have it redone or flashing on my screen. This movie had scenes that looked like I was watching a video game that would crash your computer. Just stuff. This movie was a lot of stuff moving on the screen. There is a simulated video game world that almost everyone plays because the real world is a dumpster fire and can straight up lose real world money. Why is this a movie plot? That is real life. This kid Wade Watts is the hero our world needs because...because reasons. He and millions of others are searching for three keys and an Easter egg and if they do they get all the money and control over the video game world.


Spoilers, he does it. This movie was long as hell and I love a good long movie but when it is wack as this it just drags. The animation looks fine. I wasn't like “Whoa that looks cool!” It just looked fine. One thing that was bothering me was one of his friends' voice. I kept thinking it sounded like someone impersonating a Black guy and it turns out it was a woman playing a Black guy. Also how the girl he is in love with looks better in the real world than video game world. Oh, she has a blemish on her face? Pfffft. Whatevs. When this kid gets control of the world and everything he turns the video game world off twice a week which upsets people. I get it. So you win all the money and power and your idea is to force the world to experience the shitty real world? That is fine if you are well off but this kid himself knows how shit the world is. This was stupid.

Tye Sheridan as Wade Watts/Parzival
Ben Mendelsohn as Nolan Sorrento/IOI-655321
T.J. Miller as i-R0k
Simon Pegg as Ogden Morrow.the Curator
Mark Rylance as James Halliday/Anorak the All-Knowing
Lena Waithe as Helen Harris/Aech

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