The Review: The First Noelle

 

The First Noelle 1/10

So over the weekend L. and I ended up watching two holiday movies. The first one was called The First Noelle and it was not good. Instead of giving this a 0 I gave it a 1 because I actually finished this hot trash. I don't know what people saw online but a lot of people were praising this film and I cannot understand why. The movie starts off with Noelle and her friend Terrence who have known each other for 20 years breaking up because he's moving to London for a new job. The movie fast forwards a year later and she's working at a publishing company and he decides to come back and visit. Noelle obviously still has feelings for him but doesn't say anything and she lets her sister who we both thought was her mother know. Her sister mother tells her to try and get back with him even after Noelle discovers that he is now dating a new girl named Noelle as well.

She tries to dress all sexy and try to lure him back in but he seems unsure as to what his actual feelings are. This is a theme that runs throughout the film because I'm not sure if it was the way the guy was told to act in his film or what because he doesn't seem to have any actual interest in either of the women but from what we are told through watching he's into the new one and doesn't have feelings for old Noelle. There's this whole other guy at the publishing company that is into Noelle but she doesn't seem interested in in him until the story needs her to be. The entire film is just her pining over her old friend, not saying anything, getting upset at him him being confused by it, and then finally she kisses him and he backs away from her and the new Noelle who just happens to be a writer and is wanting to work with old Noelle overhears their whole conversation that she gets mad at Terrence. But since this is a holiday movie of course everything ends up working for the best. By the way, L. predicted all of what happened in this movie.

Noelle ends up dating the guy she didn't seem to have interest in who has a head full of beijing and the new Noelle decides to stick with Terrence. This movie was shot with no flavor meaning there was nothing special about any of the camera work that was done. It was just filmed. There were no sweeping camera shots or anything special about it. The music was what I described as the music that plays when the child is sneaking into a museum in the middle of the night. Just picture any cartoon music when a character is walking on their tippy toes and you will know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm honestly now sitting here thinking about it and I'm not sure how this was even a Christmas movie. I guess since it took place during the holiday time it counts as a Christmas movie but there was nothing Christmassy about this movie. Oh and I have to point out the wardrobe in this film. Besides the beijing hair and everybody that ever has a fade in these black films literally just left the barbershop there's one scene where Terrance is wearing a sweater that is one of the ugliest sweaters I have ever seen in my life. It's white and it looks like somebody accidentally washed it with some blue paint and just decided to keep on wearing it. The hair in this film is ridiculous on both the men and the women. I just don't understand why people are praising this film. I am legitimately confused. And you can also tell how watched/reviewed a movie is by how hard it is to find images from it. Do better!

Novi Brown as Noelle

Lala Milan as Noelle

Todd Anthony as Terrance

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