Bugonia 8/10
All of the spoilers! Me and my lady watched this movie the other day. I didn't really know anything except a lady gets kidnapped and on the bus ads she looked greasy. This weird ass movie was super good. This starts off with this CEO named Michelle Fuller who runs a pharmaceutical place starting her day exercising, fight training, and jogging before heading to work and speaking corporate jargon. She did not come across as very likable. Just...there. We then head on over to Teddy and his cousin Don. They are beekeepers and training for something as well. Something sinister. Teddy won't stop talking about conspiracies and such and sounds way too much like people you can easily find online. He says an alien race known as Andromedans are killing the bees and forcing humanity into servitude.
After heading home Michelle is attacked by the guys wearing Jennifer Aniston masks. She beats their asses a few times trying to escape before she is jabbed with a needle and wakes in a basement. They have shaved Michelle's head to keep her from communicating with her alien friends and covering her skin with antihistamine. They give her four days to comply with them before the lunar eclipse that is supposed to let the spaceship arrive. Yeah. This is all crazy. Teddy interrogates her and she explains why he isn't making sense and gets more upset with her. He hooks her up and electrocutes her which Don attempts to stop. The power gets blown out and Teddy is like “Oh, I didn't realize you were so powerful you're not just a drone. My apologies.” Teddy and Don have a spaghetti dinner with her and they get into a heated debate, Teddy and Michelle do. Michelle saw the name tag on the dress they gave her and deduced that it belonged to Teddy's mother who was part of a detox trial and his mother is in a coma because of it. Teddy ends up knocking Michelle out of her chair and choking her before she stabs him with a fork and chokes him back. Don knocks her out with a shotgun before dragging her back to the basement after a sheriffs deputy arrives.
This deputy is weird as hell and it turns out he used to babysit Teddy and apologizes for doing some weird sexual shit to him back then. They go to look at the bees while Don holds Michelle at gunpoint in the basement. Teddy ends up beating the cop to death as Michelle tries to reason with Don who shoots and kills himself. Teddy races to the basement and is gonna kill Michelle until she says that she is indeed an alien and has the cure for his mother in her car that is hidden after abducting her. She says it is disguised as antifreeze and he can administer it to his mother and save her. He gets it and bikes to the hospital covered in a bloody beekeeper suit. He injects it into her IV and hopes it works. It doesn't because its fucking antifreeze and she dies. He hops out the window and runs away. He returns and Michelle has gotten out of her cuffs and chains. She had found a room with photos of previous people Teddy had captured and tortured. She says that Teddy was right all along and lays out the origins of her alien race to him and how she can still take him to her ship.
Michelle says that after killing the dinosaurs on accident they made humans in their own image. After some experimenting humans became more violent and hellbent on their own destruction. She says her race now has the mean to save humanity and that Teddy can meet them at her job. She arrives to work after being missing for days and everyone is looking at her limping with a wig on like “Okay...” Michelle takes Teddy to her office and starts punching in a bunch of numbers on a calculator to alert her spaceship. Teddy reveals that he came prepared and has an entire ass bomb strapped to himself. Michelle lets him entire her closet to teleport to the ship and slams it shut. Moments later it explodes after she presses a button on the calculator. His head flies out and nails her in the head. She wakes in an ambulance and unstraps herself before rushing back to work and to her office. She goes into her closet and whoosh.
Hey. Turns out she was an actual alien. L. figured this out earlier while I said no and then hopped back and forth. After entering the closet she is on her ship with a bunch of aliens that look human wearing the most comfy pajamas ever invented. They say they couldn't reach her because she had no hair. They discuss humanity and Michelle concludes that they can not be saved. There is a floating version of Earth in the room. Michelle pops the bubble over it and the next five minutes is just everyone on the planet dead where they stood. No one was saved. Every human dead. Animals cool though. This movie was weird but good and entertaining. I liked that it kept me guessing and I described it as am episode of Twilight Zone in a good way. One thing I will say I didn't like was the sounds used in this. It was incredibly louder than the dialogue and parts and I had to remove my headphones.
Emma Stone as Michelle Fuller
Jesse Plemons as Teddy Gatz
Aidan Delbis as Don
Stavros Halkias as Casey Boyd
Alicia Silverstone as Sandy Gatz
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