Theater Whore: Keanu

Keanu 7/10

Spoilers! There is this weird new thing in comedy movies where they manage to make better and visually clearer action sequences than movies billing themselves as action films. Keanu stars Jordan Peele as Rell, a guy that was just dumped by his girlfriend and miserable until he finds a kitten and names it Keanu. Keegan-Michael Key plays Clarence who has a hot ass wife played by Nia Long and a family. He heads over to Rell's to cheer him up an meets Keanu. I totally skipped over the beginning action scene with the Allentown Boys played by Key and Peele. I shit you not, I would watch a movie starring two creepy looking long haired assassins that say nothing. That whole first scene was amazing.

Rell comes home after watching a movie with Clarence and his place is trashed and Keanu is missing. They head to a neighbor payed by Will Forte named Hulka who lets them know that the 17th St. Blips have the cat. They are gang members no longer allowed in the Bloods or Crips. Hulka tells them to pretend to be harder than they really are and at a strip club they meet Hi-C played by Tiffany Haddish (also hot and I will now be looking for more of her) and say their names are Tectonic and Shark Tank. They end up selling drugs, shooting celebrities, introducing gangsters to the magic of George Michael (I think we can officially stop using his music in movie action scenes now since I think its happened three times this year), and seeing killers with dick necklaces.

This was a funny movie but at certain times felt a little bit too long. There is a scene with a celebrity that seemed to go on for a bit too long to give breathing room for another scene that was simultaneously happening that was going for too long. It was weird for me to see these two play just a set of characters instead of changing often. Some really funny parts that made me crack up in between me seeing that damned cute kitten. God that thing was cute!

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