Brightburn
9/10
Full
of spoilers. I meant to see this new movie Brightburn last weekend
but did not wanna deal with crowds of any sort over the holidays so I
went and checked it out this morning. I remember seeing the trailer a
while back and getting hype as fuck because it looked new and
original. I thought it was an actual good looking Superman trailer
until a woman yanked glass out her eye. This movie was far better
than it had any right to be considering I only knew one name
associated with it as well as the budget. This was a cool fucking
movie. Not sure why it is not doing that well because I got way more
than I expected. I legit had at least five jump scares. Not the new
fake ones where suddenly the music gets loud but real “Oh, fuck
me!” ones. If you are on the fence about seeing this based on
reviews you have read or heard I suggest you pretend you can make
your own decisions and go see this. We need more movies like this
existing.
Back
in 2006 This couple Tori and Kyle Breyer are trying to make a baby.
It is kinda heavy handed with all the books laying about but
whatever. Just when they are about to get down Tori hears something
outside. Kyle doesn't because he is thinking of other things and
suddenly their entire house shakes like crazy. They look outside and
there is a glow in the woods near their home. Fast forward twelve
years and seeing footage of this baby that crashed on their farm.
They name him Brandon and do not tell him where he came from. They
just say he is adopted. Good move. At school he is super smart but
kinda...off. One night the ship in the barn starts glowing and
sending some message to him. He wanders into the barn and his mother
ends up finding him and saying he was sleepwalking. This keeps this
incident from her husband. This is one of many times I was like “You
better say something!” They keep the ship hidden and locked.
One
night while celebrating Brandon's 12th birthday he gets a
gun and wants to use it now. Like, right now. His father says he is
too young and they should leave. He tries to pull Brandon and can't
get this bastard to even budge. They leave and that night he finds
Brandon staring at the chickens and they are freaking out. Brandon
says he is fine and heads back inside. Later that night the father
finds all the chickens mangled. Mom is like “It was a wolf.” Dad
is like “A wolf did not open the lock and fuck these chickens up!”
Mom is like “Yeah it did” and walks away. The next morning
Brandon chews a fuck to shit. He tosses a lawnmower and sticks his
hand in the blade and does not get hurt. His parents find lingerie
images hidden under his mattress and pictures of human organs and
decide to go camping and have “the talk” with him. The father
does and it is weird. That night Brandon leaves and goes to the house
of this girl he likes form school. This creepy little shit makes her
computer come on playing old ass love songs. She is like “That was
weird” and puts the laptop down. He does it again and she freaks
out. Her mom comes in and she says it was Brandon. Brandon returns to
the campsite where his parents were freaking out over him being
missing.
Back
at school the kids play the trust game. I suggest you never play this
game, readers. The girl does not want to touch Brandon and he ends up
smacking the ground. The teacher forces her to help Brandon up after
she calls the boy a pervert. Brandon crushes the fuck out of her
hand. Brandon gets suspended and the girls mother wants cops
involved. The cop is there and he is like “Nah.” Brandon mad dogs
the mom as he leave so you know her ass is dead. He has to talk to
his aunt who is also school counselor and he sounds like a fucking
psychopath. That night his mother finds him again but this time he is
floating in the barn muttering in an alien language. She snaps him
out of it but he falls down into where the ship is and cuts himself.
It is the first time he has ever bled. His mom tells him the truth
about how he was found and it sounds sweet. Psych! He loses his shit
and breaks shit in the house. Dad's like “What's up?” Mom says
she told him.
Brandon
heads to the girls house again with a flower and says he is special.
She is like “You need to get out of my house.” She says her
mother says he needs to stay away and he says he will handle that. He
heads to her job at the diner as she is closing up and writes his
symbol all over the windows in a moment. I shit you not, this kid is
super fast! He makes the light she is looking at explode and she
slowly pulls the glass out. He zips around her as she tries to see
who and where he is. I love this scene. The screen is half red and
all you can hear is her pulse. She hides in the freezer until the
door is lasered off with fucking laser beams and she is tackled. The
cops check out the crime scene. Her body's gone but the one cop sees
the symbol on one of the windows.
Brandon
heads to the counselor who is also his aunt. He fucks with her lights
and then knocks on her door. He says she should not tell his parents
or the cops about what he said earlier. She is like “”Pffft, I
gotta do my job.” Brandon leaves and finds her husband as he comes
home. He finds Brandon hiding in the closet and tries to drive him
home. Brandon vanishes and ends up crashing into his truck. This
scene was creepy as shit! He appears closer and closer to the truck
as its stalled. The guy said everything I did during this scene.
Lotta “nopes.” Brandon ends up flipping his truck and he hits his
face on the steering wheel. And by his face I mean it is like he bit
down on it so it goes inches through. He is gurgling and trying to
hold his face together as Brandon dips his finger into the blood and
draws his little symbol. This kid is horrible!
The
parents tell Brandon about his uncle being dead and he reacts like
they told him that they bought Sprite instead of 7Up. The father is
like “The fuck is your problem?!” He makes a move on Brandon and
gets launched across the kitchen. Mom calms him down and he heads to
take a shower. The father finds the bloody shirt Brandon hid after
killing his uncle. Mom is like “He's fine...” The father decides
to take Brandon hunting aka Puppy Lake. While in the woods the father
takes a shot at Brandon and hits him point blank in the head. Brandon
looks like something threw a pebble at his head and ends up frying
his dad's face off. The police visit mom with pictures of Brandon's
symbols and she is like “I said he's fine.” That is until she
searches his room and finds drawings of the symbol as well as
drawings of the people he murdered. She calls her husbands phone not
knowing Brandon has killed him and heard everything she said. Things
like “You were right Brandon is a killer!” Brandon says his
father is gone but he is home.
Brandon
starts wrecking balling the fuck out of the house as mom calls the
cops. Yeah. More people to die at the hands of this lunatic. They
show up and ones gets turned into red mist. He legit gets exploded.
The other cop tries to help until she gets beaten like a rug. Like
for real. She gets beaten like a rug. Mom hides as Brandon hunts her
down. She heads to the barn realizing that whatever that metal the
ship is made from hurts her son. She gets a piece off but not before
seeing that the girls mother is in the barn being cut open down
there. Brandon finds her and she says that no matter what has
happened she knows Brandon is good. She tries to dramatic stab him
but he catches her arm, flies up through the barns roof, and flies
into the sky with her. She is all fucked up and cut and he just drops
her from the sky and then he heads into an airplane blowing it up. He
starts to go public with destroying shit and used the plane crash as
a cover up for his parents deaths. This bastard!
Like I
said, you need to see this movie even with the spoiling shit. This
movie was shot very well. The acting was good. The tone was perfect.
Even though it was a superhero themed movie it was spooky as fuck.
Oh, and the song during the credits was fucking cool and I need to
download it immediately.
Elizabeth
Banks as Tori Breyer
David
Denman as Kyle Breyer
Jackson
A. Dunn as Brandon Breyer
Matt
Jones as Noah McNichol
Meredith
Hagner as Merilee McNichol
Click here for previous Sitting In The Aisle.
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