Friday, September 20, 2019

The Review: Dolemite



Dolemite ???/10

I am not gonna sit here and try to give this movie an actual number rating. This movie was fucking insane. Let me rant about something for a moment. Amazon has a ton of movies. It is not easy to find new movies. They suggest booty ass movies most times but this time after watching Dolemite they suggested a ton of Black films and my goofy ass is gonna watch a whole bunch of cheesy ones that I have heard of but never seen like this one. Dolemite has been set up by a rival and is spending twenty years in prison. The warden makes a deal with him to stop the guy because even though Dolemite was bad this guy is way worse. Dolemite gets out and minutes later he and his women gun down three guys.


I watched this and am still not sure what Dolemite does. Is he a pimp? Drug peddler? Club owner? Comedian? Kung fu master? I think he is actually all of the above. This movie had me cracking up at the fight scenes. It was like they said what they would do moments before filming. People would go down that didn't get hit. Kicks would be two feet away. People would get hit, not fall in time, and the threat of another kick would put them down. I thought this movie would be full of hot women but there was only one I was checking out and I didn't even see her face. This movie is full of lady breasts and butt. There is even a pasty butt for the ladies. It was gross. His ass looked like a bag of milk.


Dolemite and his kung fu lady crew end up winning the club back and murdering a lot of people. I also wish there was a movie just about the Hamburger Pimp. Who says shit like “Yeah, I'm so bad, I kick my own ass twice a day. Shit, you ain't sayin' nothin'!” Seriously, a lot of folks die in this. I loved that it was filmed in LA too. I didn't know that this took place here. People would have been sweating their balls off in those outfits in this city. I have seen one other movie from Moore when I was a kid and probably shouldn't have been allowed to. I wanna watch it again and see if I can blame my parents for some more random ass issues I have as an adult.

Dolemite Rudy Ray Moore
Queen Bee Lady Reed
Willie Green D'Urville Martin
Reverend Gibbs West Gale
Mitchell John Kerry
Blakely Jerry Jones
Creeper Vainus Rackstraw

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