Theater Whore: Halloween

Halloween 2/10

This will be full of spoilers. Forget everything you think you know about Halloween and all its various reboots and rewriting of history. Also forget to enjoy yourself because this movie is not good. I'm not even comparing it to the other films because I have vague recollections of those and no serious attachment to them. I thought this trailer looked cool and decided to check it out and ended up finishing and going “Wow. That was a waste of time.” With a horror movie I can watch and enjoy them for a lot of reasons. Because the kills are creative. Because they are unintentionally funny. Because they scared me. Because they were shot well. I don't have any of that to say about this movie. Hell, even the way the movie looked and the camera moved felt like a TV show. It had no flavor to it which sucks.

SAW Is The Best Horror Franchise

I was watching a show where they asked what the best horror movie franchise was and they gave answers like Friday The 13th, Halloween, and Nightmare On Elm Street. Now while those films do have some good parts to them, for the most part they are ass. I'm not apologetic for this and have some respect for the characters seeing as how I have used all of them in my Doom Mates series.

But as I sat here and really gave it some thought I realized that my favorite horror franchise was Saw. There have been seven Saw films the last being Saw 3D. For people that have not seen these movies they think it is just about a killer that puts people into traps that are disgusting and kills them. While that does happen the main point of these films are righting wrong, revenge, and learning to appreciate life.

"Perils Of Punky" Wrecked My Brain

The things in my life that skeeve me out make no sense. I have moved dead bodies, washed puke and blood off my shoes from working at a hospital, mopped blood and spit from the floor of a porn shop, and ate hash browns with soy sauce when I was little. The last one I cant remember why I did it. Pretty sure I threw up soon after. I watched a lot of stuff I probably shouldn’t have when I was little. My parents didn’t filter what I watched so I saw Hellraiser, Friday The 13th, and all kinds of B movies that were rated R. None of these bothered me as much as an episode of Punky Brewster.

Prepping my adult boner for childhood fears.

This two part episode called “The Perils Of Punky” fucked up my young soul and I still don’t know why. I was thinking about this episode since its close to Halloween and looked up the plot and cant recall half the shit that happened. I just have flashes of my brain going “I don’t want!” at various images of fucked. This aired in 1985 so I was the perfect age to have parts of my spirit chipped away at.