Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Babbling Old Man: Three O'Clock High

“I want you to understand something Jerry. I don't like people knowing about me, in fact I don't like it when anyone knows about me. So you can take that paper of yours and wipe off your dick with it! You made me mad Jerry…now I'm gonna have to do something to work it off.” 

Since I am tired of the terrible movies that have been coming out I decided to try something new. I want to talk about some of my favorite films from when I was a kid. A lot of people grew up loving the John Hughes films. Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Less Than Zero, Pretty In Pink. These are what they normally name when asked about their favorites. Mine has been and will always be Three O’Clock High.

What the hell is Three O’Clock High?!” you ask?

This is the tale of a helpless nerd put in a circumstance far beyond his control. Casey Siemaszko (NYPD Blue, Oz, Damages) is Jerry Mitchell, a good student, works at the school store, and gets bossed around by everyone, including his little sister.

His day starts off crappy. His parents are on vacation leaving him to make his own breakfast, dry his clothes in the microwave, and he almost gets to school late. He meets up with his friends, one of whom he has a crush on played by Annie Ryan (Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Laws Of Attraction). She’s the typical 80’s cute girl who looks and acts kinda strange which automatically makes her one of the not cool kids.

As soon as school begins rumors are circulating about the new kid coming to school. His name is Buddy Revell and he is played by Richard Tyson (Black Hawk Down, Me, Myself, & Irene). He’s supposed to be one of the worst kids ever. They say he killed a teacher once. Jerry while in the bathroom talking to Buddy at a stall places his hand on his shoulder. As soon as he does it he knows something bad is about to happen. What would you think if you saw this guy in your face?
 See, Buddy don’t like being touched. He grabs Jerry, flushes his crotch in the urinal a few times, slams him against the mirror and says:

You and me, we're gonna have a fight. Today. After school. Three o'clock. In the parking lot. You try and run, I'm gonna track you down. You go to a teacher, it's only gonna get worse. You sneak home, I'm gonna be under your bed.

And you can tell he means it! Some other nerdy kid heard this entire conversation and quickly spreads it around the school. Jerry tries to drive home but the wires in his car are cut. He hires a bully from school he ends up getting destroyed by Buddy with one punch (and his finger snapped). No one can save Jerry from an eventual ass beating!

The fight at the end is well worth the wait. Nerds get punched. Bitches get punched! Cops get punched! Teachers get punched! Buddy Revell is honestly one of the best movie villains ever and I don’t think he gets his just due. This isn’t some killing machine. Just a mean kid that wants to beat someone up all day. This movie stands up against any of the high school films that come out till this day. If you haven’t seen this movie, please watch it and let me know what you think.

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